Skycaptain Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Call the G.L.Y.N. foundation and they will send a stunt pigeon to fetch you a cup for an exorbitant fee Is tried to smoke the heron out, and now the chimney is on fire Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Get a new chimney. I spent the afternoon weeding and mulching my front garden, and now I hurt all over :( Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Get an army of cats to knead you with their paws My pet dragon is mad at me Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Sing songs in Gaelic - it's said to be very soothing to dragons. My chickens aren't laying many eggs at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Sit down next to them and show them how it's done. My plants die the instant I enter the room Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Stop wearing a high-voltage microwave transmitter strapped to your chest wherever you go. The water in the tap tastes like chlorine Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Put some lemon juice in, then it will taste of lemon instead I can't stop hiccupping Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Drink some water while turning your head upside down (this actually works for me) My hands are cold Link to post Share on other sites
Kitteridge Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Bring a pot of water to a boil, dip them in as needed. I'm hungry. Link to post Share on other sites
Myssterry Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Eat some pumpkin seeds. They are very nutritious. I can't stop banning people. Link to post Share on other sites
LaMaestra Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Report to the Magic Academy for a lesson in time travel so that you can change history and they were never banned in the first place. My Academy staff don't take their work seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerActive1234 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Dial this secret number: 53749282726354729292725263737289172625281########## and ask for Dave. Say: Superfixer, and he'll solve it for you. My vision is blurred. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Take off those special "vision-blurring" glasses that came in your latest "Bag of Tricks". My cat stares at me when I eat, until I give him some of my food. Link to post Share on other sites
(A)rrogant Avian Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Make him your food tester! If it tastes bad, he'll be the first to know. My purple parrot won't fly! Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Dye him green and try again. I can't stop eating Raffaellos. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Eat some sticky toffees, that will clamp your teeth together until the craving for Raffaellos fades I can't sleep at night Link to post Share on other sites
LaMaestra Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Try sleeping during the day instead. The man on my avatar has invited me to dinner. But what shall I wear? Link to post Share on other sites
Kitteridge Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Try this fetching costume: My cutting board is broken, how else can I make coleslaw? Link to post Share on other sites
Badgerclaws Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Use a blender! I'd like to cloud watch but my neighbour's incredibly tall house is blocking the view. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerActive1234 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Ask if you can come over to your neighbor's and watch the clouds through their window. I want to go outside but when I open the door the neighbor's cat runs right in, how do I stop him from entering (he's fast)? Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 open the back door as well, he'll run straight through the house without realising until he's back outside whenever I use my vacuum cleaner it sucks up all the food in every cupboard- I cannot control it Link to post Share on other sites
roronorawr Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Protect the cake or destroy the vacuum. My puppy is sleeping right at my feet and I want to pet him but I do not want to wake him up. He does not like being woken up. :( Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Give him an "air pat". Repeat as needed. It's very windy today and all my doors are slamming. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 stop giving the weather gods beans as your devotional offering :P I can't get to work, there is a tiger on my doorstep Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Try leaving by the chimney - it works for Santa Claus. I can't remember where I left my sunglasses. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitteridge Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Check the toilet tank, I've found some random stuff in there. I want to move to the country but don't have much money. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 get a herd of passing deer to accept you into their herd and protect you s their own my magic wand is broken! Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Enrol in LaMaestra's magic class in Mole's Ninja School on the JFF thread where you can learn how to make a new one My maths is terrible and my calculator is faulty Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Build a new calculator: in programming it, you'll learn the maths, and afterwards you'll have a working calculator :D I'm too tired to do anything productive, which means I won't make deadlines and disappoint others and myself.. again :( Link to post Share on other sites
lycanrising Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Purchase the new Apple iClone. Everything about you, except not covered by human rights legislation! Force them into doing all your work whilst you soak up the lovely winter sun (just ensure others know who's who otherwise it's The Island all over again and that didn't end well for the original Ewan). My to do list is fantastically long and it's for tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
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