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Am i gay?


Autumnwind

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.Hey guys i understand this site is for asexual's and the reason why i'm writing this post here is because i wrote it on another site and i just don't feel understood their and i don't feel as comfortable. I'm wanting some help knowing if i'm gay along with all my other issues, i feel it may be easier to understand in a place where i won't be told to go find out by fucking somebody. It's not that i'm sure i would or wouldn't i don't but i wouldn't want that weather i was or wasn't attracted in a sexual way to somebody fully or not.

That part can get you lost also so i'll continue onto my question.

If i see a picture of a women or talk to a women or even actually meet a women i think is cute my entire face goes red, yes i'm horrible at hiding the fact i believe somebody is cute. I get very nervous around them but inside my mind all i want is to make them happy and protect them. I have noticed i am sexually open to more possibility of having sex with a women then i would with a man, i even think i'd go far with one to a extent. With a guy it's not i don't wish for a guy it's not that i couldn't love a guy it just wouldn't be in the same way

as a women and i feel like as much as i also in a sense would want a man i wouldn't want one for much and even the chances of me finding a guy i like is rare, on top of that in the very end i can't tell you it'd even work out or i'd like to date a guy. Maybe i would but i don't think it'd go as far as a women and i don't think i'd have 100% of the same feelings.

please help

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butterflydreams

Well, I don't think anyone here is going to tell you to go out and bang someone to find out. Unfortunately this is really something you have to figure out for yourself. I can't tell you what you're feeling. It seems like you at least have some kind of interest in other women. Is that interest sexual, romantic, aesthetic, something else? I'm not sure! :)

If you're not sure how you feel about the actual act of sex with men or women, that's ok. I'm not sure how I feel about sex either! With a man? Meh, probably not. With a woman? I'm just not sure. It doesn't feel right in my head, but I don't know.

I think the best thing to do is know what your feelings are, and know what your boundaries are. Try going out with some people. See how you feel. You don't have to feel pressured into sex, kissing, holding hands, nothing. Just focus on how you feel :) it can be difficult, but I think the answer will reveal itself to you if you open yourself to receiving it.

Good luck!

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Hi Autumnwind,

It might be that you find a certain body form more appealing; or features (or parts thereof).
Maybe you prefer a certain type of mind! The best case would probably be to not pressure yourself into anything.

If you're not sure what you're looking for, who, or what's going on, then it's often helpful to take a deep breath.

There might be something else that's bothering you; or maybe another way to think about the subject that is more clear!

Somebody once scolded me for trying to pressure myself into a solution. :redface:

Sincerely,
Sam

P.S. Welcome to AVEN! :cake:

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Hi, for me it looks like you are (more) attracted to women than men. Would you date a guy,, would you get a crish or him or deeire to have sex with him? Would that also be true for women? If it is yes on the latter and no on the former I would say you're homosexual/romantic (assuming you're female of course). But it is nothing wrong with being homo, hetero or bi :) But it comes down to what you personally feel, so it is "just" to be honest with yourself.

Good luck founding about your sexuality ^_^ And of course it is no problem to come here for advice.

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I also feel I tend to be attracted to women a lot more than to men and it's a lot easier for a woman to seduce me than for a man but I'm still asexual.

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I don't think the label is terribly important, but of course you might be gay--only you can really say for sure. I think it's best to keep an open mind and maybe go out with someone who interests you, keeping in mind that you absolutely don't have to do anything physical that you don't feel ready for or comfortable with. (Seriously--I allowed people to do physical things to me that I didn't want because I hoped it would help me figure it out if I was gay and asexual).

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  • 2 weeks later...
crazypimpernelfan

It's hard for me to say if you're gay or not. Is the attraction sexual, emotional, aesthetic? How you're attracted can explain more if you're really and truly gay or if you're asexual, gray-asexual with homosexual tendencies, bisexual, etc.

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" I get very nervous around them but inside my mind all i want is to make them happy and protect them. "

Wanting to make someone happy and wanting to protect them---those are two wonderfully beautiful things to feel about anyone, and they don't need a label. I find both of those feelings to be very gentle and pure, and I sincerely hope that you find someone to be this way with, whomever they are.

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