Sex-repulsed sexologist?

[abacct]

I've seen to reach a bit of an issue here, because unlike most asexual people it seems, I'm highly interested in the topic of human sexuality. However, I also happen to be sex-repulsed (in the sense where I'm just averted to myself doing it, not others), which means I really don't plan on ever going out and finding someone to sleep with.

I know asexual sexologists can exist, but I've already had people discredit my interest and knowledge on the topic because I'm still a virgin (ugh, I hate that term, but that's another rant for another time), and if I really never plan on actually going out and engaging in the thing I'm interested in, is it even a good idea for something to study? I've tried doing research on it, but unfortunately, there's not many things out there for sex-averse individuals.

What do you think about that, then?

[alto]

Go for it. Prepare for a lot of acephobia, however.

I'm borderline repulsed, but I used to be very interested in sex as well. One human sexuality class was all it took to put the kibush on that for me.

[swankivy]

I've heard from another person who studies sex who has been attacked for her lack of personal experience in the matter, so it's not unusual for people to assume you can't know your topic unless you personally want to have sex! I think that's silly. It'd be one thing if you were trying to *teach people how to have sex* when you hadn't done so, but studying it as a science? No, it's not necessary to have sex before you can be the kind of scientist who studies sex. Can't help you much with how people are going to react to it, though. It's a prejudice a lot of people have, and they even use it to infantilize us in other contexts too, even if we don't study sex without participating.

One of my friends actually is an asexual sexologist! Meet Dallas.

[Kellam]

There's theoretical and experimental physics so why can't sexology work the same way? You would have a unique point of view as far as I can tell. Just keep plugging away and damn the detractors!

[honeyandcl0ver]

I feel you!

I am currently in school for Psychology and I hope to become a sex therapist. I love learning about human sexuality and I talk about sex toys more than the average person, but I also identify as grey-asexual. I'm not repulsed by sex or aversive, but it's kind of a meh thing for me. I constantly have people try to discredit my contributions, opinions, and ideas because how would I know, right?

I say go for it! That's like saying veterinarians shouldn't do what they do because they're not dogs, or that gardeners shouldn't garden because they're not plants. If you have a genuine interest in human sexuality, your sexuality [or lack thereof] should not and does not stop you from expanding your knowledge.

[deleted_account]

Well, you don't have to announce your asexuality in your field, do you? It's not like they only hire sexologists who are sexually active... doubt they'll do a cavity search or DNA test or anything. You don't have to lie about it, but it doesn't seem especially relevant.

If you do choose to be out in your field, people will probably look at your work differently, but then again I think that happens to pretty much any member of any marginalized group. Think how many great writers and musicians came out as gay or lesbian and from then on, all their work was "evidence" of this fact... of course, they ended up with huge followings, given the gay and lesbian demographic. So you never know, choosing to come out may make your articles on sexology more popular with asexual readers! At the very least, it will allow you to be more objective in your research, and prevent bias.

I say go for it, give it all you got. You have every right to follow your dreams. I wanted to be a sexologist for a really long time - instead I became a stripper, but it was a very academic thing for me, and for all the hellish times there were just as many educational ones. Now I'm a writer instead, and I focus my work on gay and asexual characters because I think those voices need to be heard (even if they're fictional)... you never know where you could end up in life. Good luck to you, and have fun.

[AsexualSexologist]

Hi there! I know I'm a little late to the party but I don't come by the forums as often as I should.

You can totally study human sexuality/become a sexologist but as someone else pointed out you'd have to be prepared to deal with a lot of acephobia/general stupidity on the whole subject.

I went to a very small private graduate institute and of the 25 or so people in my class there were actually two aces! I was the only one who came out because I couldn't take not countering the invalidating things I was hearing while the other didn't come out to anyone until after they graduated - they said they were glad I was out so that they didn't feel so alone but it was certainly a lonely process for me!

You might have better luck in another school though (Widener University has the best program from what I've heard and I wish I had gone there).

There are lots of people who study sexuality for different reasons and I would love to have more asexuals out there. It probably depends on *how* sex-repulsed you are if you would make it through a program - there will be a lot of reading about sex, watching videos of different types of sex, pictures of different types of sex, etc - at least there was in my program - especially if you do a SAR (Sexual Attitude Readjustment.... I think that was acronym.... ). Basically the idea is that even if you're a straight sexologist you should get comfortable thinking about gay sex because maybe you'll have a gay client, and likewise for getting comfortable with the idea of potential clients who are old, overweight, etc having sex. You don't want a client who comes in and your thought is "oh god, I need to give *you* advice about sex? how gross!"

But then there are also lots of different types of sexologists so maybe you don't want to see clients at all, maybe you want to work specifically with asexuals or you want write papers or do research or teach kids about sexual health or you just want to use it to be a lazy terrible blogger while you end up doing mostly unrelated things for work except when people want to interview you about it or you want to get into arguments with people on facebook and twitter ;)

Anyway, I would love to see more asexual sexologists and many of the people who are actually doing research (especially those doing research on asexuality) have been very pleased to see more ace voices showing up in the conversation.

[Matthew89]

As asexual sexologist you actually have an advantage in that you're able to have a detached and unique perspective, and might be able to notice things others don't.

Nevertheless be fair and don't pretend to be something you're not (experienced in actual sex, or able to understand inner aspects of sexuality). Find a niche that suits your abilities.