MoonlitWinter Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Hello, I’m new here and to forums in general, I’m 21 and this is my first online forum introduction ever so I’m sorry if it’s sounds a bit awkward ^^" I’ve known the term asexual for quite a while but had never done any investigating on what it was. When most people I knew would mention it they would make it sound like some kind of disorder where you had no libido at all. And also having grown up in a pretty christian household, was inadvertently taught not to question my sexuality and wasn't something I ever cared to think about anyways. Through out middle school and high school I had been in a few short relationships, but soon realized that people in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship seemed to be required to have some kind of mutual sexual attraction to each other and although I was romantically and sometimes aesthetically attracted to these people, none of them ever aroused me in the slightest. Even though I don't feel sexual attraction, I've always enjoyed being in a relationship with someone, usually using the excuse "I'm saving myself for marriage." to get out of any sexual interaction, which people usually respect without being too pushy. But after a while of being in several relationships like that I would get tired of putting on a mask of sexual attraction and break up with them only lamenting the loss of a once wonderful and innocent interaction, and eventually I gave up on having a relationship with anyone at all past friendship. As everyone knows though, life never goes as expected, I started college and through my classes made friends with an amazing person, which as time passed developed into a mutual love for each other to a level I've never felt for another person. a few months ago he started mentioning wanting to marry me and has talked about what he thinks sex with me will be like, and unlike before I didn't feel like putting on a mask again, but I also didn't know how to explain how I felt about sex and my lack of sexual attraction to him. So I started joking about being basically asexual, eventually leaving me to realize I didn't know the complete meaning of asexual or what the sexuality was defined as and through my research realized my jokes weren't really jokes anymore, this sexuality actually defined me! Which was more of a relief than I ever anticipated it to be, I finally fit into a category. I've since told my boyfriend this, finally having the words to describe my feelings, without feeling like I'd hurt his feelings for not being sexually attracted to him and wonderfully enough he's accepted it better than I thought he would, he still seems to be processing it but so far I feel a lot better knowing I'm not alone and that there's nothing wrong with me. I've come here to learn more about the sexuality, understand more about myself and try my best to make my relationship with my boyfriend work. And I'm happy and proud to say today that I'm asexual, and look forward to this thrilling new adventure of self discovery. Link to post Share on other sites
OneOfAKind Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I'm glad things are working out for you! Welcome to AVEN!!! :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Hello. I hope that things work out for you, and I'm glad that you're learning more. that is, after all, what life is all about. Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Yay! I'm glad things are looking up. Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Hello and welcome to AVEN!! :cake: I can definitely relate to feeling like you couldn't question you sexuality in a Christian home- I also never really considered that I was anything but homosexual until college either. But once you do start to question it, and find out there's a word to describe your experiences, that is one of the best feelings. Its always good to know you're not alone. I'm glad that things seems to be going pretty well for you now that you've figured things out, and I wish you the best of luck with your boyfriend! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Hi and welcome to AVEN! It sounds like taking the time to learn more about asexuality has helped you clarify some of the feelings you've always had. I hope you enjoy learning even more and also hope things work out for the best with your boyfriend! :) Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Welcome to AVEN! You are definitely not alone in this. : ) Funny how a joking statement can be the truth, huh? I'm so glad your boyfriend has been understanding as well! I wish you the best, and I hope you love it here! Link to post Share on other sites
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