You should get your hormones tested.

[Pikanyaa]

So my mom and I have discussed asexuality at various times mostly because she still doesn't believe I'm asexual, even after telling her I am like 5 times already. So my bf and I have been in a committed relationship for over a year, and yesterday she sat down and said she had something she wanted to talk to me about while he wasn't around. She then proceeded to suggest that I get my hormones tested because she honestly believes that might be the reason behind my asexuality and because "sex is too wonderful an experience to pass up". My dad, who was in the other room, has never said anything about my sexuality until now (he already knew I'm sure since I've posted about it on Facebook), and he agreed with her.

Yes, I was pretty upset with her for even suggesting this, but I told her I would consider it just to get her to stop nagging me about it. On that note, I wanted to ask if anyone here has ever gotten their hormones tested and if they found that that their asexuality was due to some hormone imbalance, plus some other stuff. Also if you have some scientific article or editorials on this topic, those would be appreciated! I just want to know if this is even a thing that can legitimately happen. (I've heard of HSDD but haven't read anything about asexual experiences with it.)

Some personal info that might be useful (possible TMI):

I consider myself asexual and hetero-romantic. I've never been sexually attracted towards men or women, but when I do find a man attractive, it's to his personality and/or any features above the waist. My favorite expression towards my bf is cuddling and meaningful conversations. As far as baseball metaphors go, I'm comfortable enough just barely touching second base but I refuse to go any further, and it's been that way for a while. He says he's fine with it & would never ask me to do anything that would make me uncomfortable. I do have a personal sex drive and masturbate a few times a month, but I never do anything involving penetration or tools/toys.

[5_♦♣]

I've had my hormones checked, but not for Asexuality (I don't think I even knew my orientation at the time).

[RD_the]

I have never gotten tested *because of* my asexuality. However, I have had many hormone levels tested, including "sexual" hormones, for other medical reasons. Over the past few years I have bled into a lot of different vials. I have also, in the past, been on hormone treatment through the birth control pill in order to regulate my hormones and treat my acne and severe menstrual cramps.

All hormone levels have been normal. The birth control pill helped my acne and my cramps, but the fillers in the pill set off my wheat allergy so I had to stop. I have recently had an IUD put in, which provides additional hormone assistance for my terrible menstrual cramps.

None of this has ever impacted my thoughts about sex and sexuality. My thoughts on sex and sexuality have changed, and were evolving at that time, but it was always due to other outside factors. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone, not even when I was taking the pill.

You may take that how you will.

[Manly Ace]

This is a myth, just like the so-called mandatory male ejaculation and other things.

Many people are concerned by hormonal imbalances, and they are not asexual.

[Valja]

I have checked my hormone levels, but not for asexuality and most of my friends have hormonal imbalance but they're still heterosexual.

Brave of you to post on Facebook that you're ace!

[Loki]

Had my blood tested so many times over the years and hormones were normal. I take medications for health reasons and it hasn't affected my sex drive as it's nonexistent before and after.

[Sexless Antonio]

So my mom and I have discussed asexuality at various times mostly because she still doesn't believe I'm asexual, even after telling her I am like 5 times already. So my bf and I have been in a committed relationship for over a year, and yesterday she sat down and said she had something she wanted to talk to me about while he wasn't around. She then proceeded to suggest that I get my hormones tested because she honestly believes that might be the reason behind my asexuality and because "sex is too wonderful an experience to pass up". My dad, who was in the other room, has never said anything about my sexuality until now (he already knew I'm sure since I've posted about it on Facebook), and he agreed with her.

Yes, I was pretty upset with her for even suggesting this, but I told her I would consider it just to get her to stop nagging me about it. On that note, I wanted to ask if anyone here has ever gotten their hormones tested and if they found that that their asexuality was due to some hormone imbalance, plus some other stuff. Also if you have some scientific article or editorials on this topic, those would be appreciated! I just want to know if this is even a thing that can legitimately happen. (I've heard of HSDD but haven't read anything about asexual experiences with it.)

Some personal info that might be useful (possible TMI):

I consider myself asexual and hetero-romantic. I've never been sexually attracted towards men or women, but when I do find a man attractive, it's to his personality and/or any features above the waist. My favorite expression towards my bf is cuddling and meaningful conversations. As far as baseball metaphors go, I'm comfortable enough just barely touching second base but I refuse to go any further, and it's been that way for a while. He says he's fine with it & would never ask me to do anything that would make me uncomfortable. I do have a personal sex drive and masturbate a few times a month, but I never do anything involving penetration or tools/toys.

No person should be forced or lead into having sex or lose their virginity. That would be sexual harrasment!

[thistleeverfreen]

I'm sorry about you parents reactions :(

For me, I'm pretty sure my hormones are ok. I got A LOT of tests done before for my short stature, though not necessarily for being ace. Everything turned out to be normal.

Slightly manipulative idea, but you could get tested just to demonstrate that everything is ok (that is, risking the possibility that the results may not be in your favor?). Idk, just a random thought. . .

[Artistofnoname]

I just don't care. I like being asexual and very much content with it.

[Himegami]

Getting tested for the sake to prove your asexuaity is like giving in. I wouldn't. Explain to them that it isn't an imbalance, choice, or illness. Point out nature and the many pairings nature has (including our own). They need to learn and accept it, rather than enforce ideas on you.

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with :)

[ShyFeather]

I secretly did in my last relationship when my boyfriend had told me he was going to take medicine to repress his sex drive. I thought, 'Omg, what am I doing to him?' and had my hormones checked. My hormone levels were normal. And I have a sex drive too, so I'm pretty certain it's mental. Taking the test is your decision but don't let your parents pressure you into taking any sort of treatment you don't want. Your health is between you and the doctor. You don't have to share any information with them if you don't want to.

[Manly Ace]

Well, if i have hormonal issues, it implies that everyone else is concerned too. :p

[Iyck]

I have had blood tests done for normal check-ups before I started to identify as ace, since I was unaware of asexuality until relatively recently. Those tests never showed anything that needed to be addressed hormone-wise. I assume my doctor would have told me if something was amiss in that regard, or would a more specific blood-test be needed to look into something like this?

Either way I don't plan to get my hormones checked (again) anytime soon, unless something medical comes up, asexuality is not an issue I'm concerned about.

If it makes you more comfortable to check your hormone levels to know if they could even be a factor sure go for it, but that is your choice to make and nobody should make you do it. And of course it feels bad to be told you should see a doctor about your asexuality. If your asexuality is no issue for you and you feel perfectly good about your identity this might seem pretty invalidating.

[SithLord]

Well I don't want to get mine checked. Apparently high estrogen runs in my family so it'll likely turn out abnormal anyway. But I don't want to do anything about it as long it's not making my life hell.

[Guest]

I'd say just get them checked, and if your hormones *do* need to be treated, maybe consider that too? If you're just as certain of your asexuality after that (which I imagine you totally will be) your mother will have no choice but to accept it! Wouldn't that be a good outcome even though there is a lot of effort involved in getting there?

And believe me, sex isn't that wonderful (actually, not wonderful at all) if you're not into it. Even when I *thought* I was a regular bisexual (before I heard about asexuality) I never enjoyed sex with men or women. I enjoy sensuality etc (kissing, cuddling, I even experience arousal sometimes during these things) but as soon it comes to experiencing mutual sexual pleasure? Just.. No. I never found it fun. I never enjoyed it. All I could think about the whole tome was getting it over with so we could have a cup of tea and get back to snuggling. So sex is only wonderful if you're someone who actually finds sex wonderful.

I LOVE sushi, and could go around telling everyone it's the most wonderful food in the world, and that there must be something wrong with them if they don't enjoy it. Same for foot massages. But actually.. there are people out there who don't enjoy sushi or foot massages.. just as there are people who don't enjoy or desire partnered sex.

Its also worth noting that scientific research has proven asexuality to exist in healthy non-human animals with hormone levels equal to their sexually-interested peers. Researchers even gave the asexual animals excessive sexual hormone boosters, thinking that would make them start seeking out sexual contact, and they still showed no interest in having sex with other animals (male or female) the same tests studied homosexuality and found that some animals just naturally preferred to have sex with their own gender. Asexuality was found in about 3% of male rats, and up to about 16% rams (male sheep).. sadly the tests didn't also cover female animals (I think that's a lot harder to test in the non-human animal kingdom) but hopefully there will be research one day to prove that some female animals really aren't interested in partnered sex either :)

[Kauko]

I got my testosterone checked back in April, and found out that it was fairly low for someone my age. So I've been on T injections weekly since then and it hasn't magically changed me and made me want to have sex. I'm just as disinterested in partnered sex as before. My libido hasn't even changed; if anything it's less and I'm less interested in masturbation than I was before as well. I've even had to lower the amount I inject weekly because my T levels--tested a week ago--were way too high, over 1300.

People don't seem to understand that hormones don't fundamentally change the nature of your sexuality; they should just amplify what's already there. If a heterosexual man has low testosterone and it's made it difficult to have sex, going on T should just help them out; but even with low testosterone he was already heterosexual, always was interested in having sex with women, etc. I suppose it's possible that someone's hormones could have been off most of their life and so they never felt much desire for sex, but once on hormones they do develop an interest in sex. But just because cases like that are possible doesn't make it true for all asexual people. People are so convinced that everyone has to want sex that they have to pathologize asexuals in order to fit them into their worldview.

[Silvernight]

I voted no, though I did have my hormones tested quite recently but it was for medical reasons, not because of asexuality. I'm female and my estrogen levels were within normal range but kinda low-ish, and testosterone a tiny bit higher than should be. I don't think, however, that asexuality has anything to do with hormone levels. If anything, it may be psychological.

[Guest]

Yeah it's not like giving a homosexual person hormone treatments will make them heterosexual. Kauko raised a good point there. I imagine though in the past, some people theorized that homosexuality could be caused by hormone imbalances. People will do everything they can to discredit something they cannot accept, just because *they* don't feel that way so can't understand how anyone else could ever feel that way. Before it was homosexuality (and still is in some places!) that couldn't be accepted; there *must* be something wrong with someone who feels that way, now it's asexuality. And it's not just suggestions that asexuals might have something medically wrong with them, I heard mention *again* yesterday of corrective rape threats made to an asexual female (they keep popping up all over the place) grrr.. so frustrating.

There is no way to 'fix' something that *is not broken*

[Ficulnean]

Nope, never had my horomones tested. But, I have a high libido, and know that the issue isn't in that. It's in my actual wants and desires, and isn't an issue, either. If you do get it checked, then you don't ven have to share the results with her, if you're somehow afraid of being discredited. Hormones are part of who we are, and people with a sudden onset HSDD often are looking for a way to fix themselves, as is their right. If you have the same hormones as them, but a different personal relation to it, then it is not a disorder for you.

[Guest]

Hormones tend to be related to LIBIDO, which you say you have. I doubt hormone treatments would change anything for 99% of asexuals, but they can lead to other things, like depression, weight gain/loss and some other nasty medical conditions. So, always a good idea to get them tested every now and then just to make sure they're tip-top anyways.

Some asexuals have had low levels, but I have never heard of any that after treatments, suddenly started being sexual/wanting sex. Want to masturbate more? Maybe.

[ranting ferret]

if it's something you truly think you should have checked, then maybe look into. or if there truly is something else at hand causing distress for you (depression, etc). but otherwise, i think it's not a thing that needs to be. the whole discussion sounds extremely odd and awkward. it's unfortunate that you aren't being listened to.

as for the argument of "but sex is such a wonderful thing and you're missing it." is bogus. if a person isn't at all interested in it to begin with, there's a decent chance that the experience will not be the best thing on earth. there are so many other examples similar to that and have the same problem. having never wanted children i have frequently heard "having kids is so wonderful blah, blah, blah and you'll miss it, how awful!"

well....i don't know the experience of having a penis, which many say is great. but i seem to be doing alright for myself somehow.

[Pikanyaa]

Getting tested for the sake to prove your asexuaity is like giving in. I wouldn't. Explain to them that it isn't an imbalance, choice, or illness. Point out nature and the many pairings nature has (including our own). They need to learn and accept it, rather than enforce ideas on you.

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with :)

Yeah, I've tried that many times on her but obviously that's not gonna work. *shrug* I don't think I'm gonna go through with hormone testing unless it already comes with bloodwork (I'm switching doctors soon & may need that done anyway), but if I do get results back, I asked my mom if she would keep nagging if if my levels were normal & she promised not to.

Yeah it's not like giving a homosexual person hormone treatments will make them heterosexual. Kauko raised a good point there. I imagine though in the past, some people theorized that homosexuality could be caused by hormone imbalances. People will do everything they can to discredit something they cannot accept, just because *they* don't feel that way so can't understand how anyone else could ever feel that way.

Haha, when she first mentioned hormone testing, the first thing I said in reply was "so does that mean gay men are gay because they have low testosterone?", to which she immediately & loudly replied "NO."

Hormones tend to be related to LIBIDO, which you say you have. I doubt hormone treatments would change anything for 99% of asexuals, but they can lead to other things, like depression, weight gain/loss and some other nasty medical conditions. So, always a good idea to get them tested every now and then just to make sure they're tip-top anyways.

Some asexuals have had low levels, but I have never heard of any that after treatments, suddenly started being sexual/wanting sex. Want to masturbate more? Maybe.

Yeah, that's what my feeling was, and that's basically the basis behind HSDD (the lack of sex drive, which I do somewhat have).

Thanks for all the responses everyone! They've been wonderful. ^_^

[littlepersonparadox]

I personally haven't gotten my hormones checked but my asexual date-mate has and their hormones are at normal levels. So you don't have to worry about too much about there being a different level of hormones because your ace. Even if you don't wind up testing your hormones level, and wind up having to get blood work done its a good idea to ask anyway. I had to give blood work for testing purposes a few years ago in order to see about getting diagnosed with a medical condition. As it turns out no matter what your sending out blood for, there are a lot of standard testing that goes along with it. In other words they will always do a host of tests on your blood whenever you send out blood for medical purposes. It may be a good idea to find out what they are. (They wouldn't tell me when i asked, they just said that they test for other things as well and that my blood aside from the confirmed diagnosis is fine)

[WhenSummersGone]

I've gotten mine checked but not because I'm not interested in having sex. It was for a different problem and it came back normal. I'm happy with no sex in my single life so I won't ever seek help for it.

[helana12_03]

I've had my hormones checked for other reasons and my levels came back normal, meaning that my asexuality has nothing to do with my hormone levels.

I was hormone deficient somewhere in my mid teens. This could have possibly contributed to my asexuality somehow, because that's roughly when all the sexual stuff develops. Regardless of the cause, I love being asexual and don't ever want to change my asexuality.

[Sutoriku]

I've been approaching the subject of asexuality/possibly aromanticism for a while with my Mum. Rather than "coming out", I've been building it up so that eventually coming out will be another step...

Anyway, I started by confiding in her that I'd never crushed or felt attraction on anyone. She was a little hesitant but when she realized I was telling the truth she immediately supported me. We left the topic alone for a few weeks, then we discussed getting my hormones (and ovaries) checked and I agreed. A few weeks later again we scheduled the appointments and then waited for the results. The "cool-off" time between each stage has been invaluable because we would discuss how I feel and she feels a little bit in between, and as of now she has said she is 100% believing and supporting of how I feel, even if I haven't introduced her to the asexuality label yet.

Well hormone test results came back perfectly normal for everything and I still feel asexy.

ON A SIDE NOTE: having an ultrasound on my ovaries actually revealed that some abnormalities that I'm getting checked out - nothing that affects my asexuality or libido though.

Therefore I strongly urge a hormonal hormonal and ovarian checkup for all women - I'm only 17 and having the ultrasound by chance revealed some problems I need to check out.

[Philip027]

I did have my hormones tested but it wasn't anything to do with my sexuality or lack thereof.

I was found to have imbalances in several areas, including low testosterone, which I was eventually put on a monthly shot for. The shot had no noticeable effects on me at all that I could tell though. I've since been taken off of it.

[Melorian]

I have polycystic ovaries and apparently very high levels of testosterone.

I highly doubt this is linked to my asexuality. For one, there are loads of women with polycystic ovaries and high testosterone who are heterosexual. For another, there are loads of women (and men) without hormone problems who are asexual.

I'm on tonnes of medication, including hormone things, they haven't done a thing to my asexuality.

I've known I was asexual since forever. Sexuality never developed and then went away due to hormone changes or puberty. It just never happened. I'm 26, I doubt anything's going to change.

[Pikanyaa]

I emailed a thing about asexuality not being linked to hormone deficiencies & the results of this poll yesterday to my dad. He said he personally doesn't think there's anything wrong with me since I told him my menstrual cycle was normal, so I think he was just trying to get my mom to calm down by very briefly agreeing with her.

[I'd rather be in band.]

I didn't have mine tested BECAUSE of my asexuality, but I did have my hormones tested to figure out what was wrong with my heart, and they concluded that my hormones were quite normal. Ergo, my asexuality is entirely an orientation. :)