Jump to content

Trans Moments?


nerdperson777

Recommended Posts

Mezzo Forte
8 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

@Mezzo Forte Funny, I was super ready (like beyond ready, I had considered coming out earlier just to finally get it going) but I still had that feeling :P It's like how some people feel bad after voluntary surgeries, about losing a body part or fixing their nose, but after a few days they realize how much they like it. I've heard even people who get top surgery need a bit to get over that "patient's remorse" but for the vast majority it will go away quickly.

Yeah, I hear the term "post-op depression" get thrown around a lot, and I'm making sure that I'm going to be mentally ready to handle my top surgery recovery in particular. The biggest thing that's scaring me is that they prescribe narcotics for pain, and the last time I took a narcotic after surgery, it made me feel so awful that I actually preferred the pain. I don't like the idea of feeling helpless/completely dependent on someone, but so long as I keep my mind on the long-term payoff, I should be able to tolerate the short term dependency in the name of never needing a binder again. :P

Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams

@Mezzo Forte, I'm so envious of you. I can already tell even I'm gonna be excited when you get your surgery. *hugs*

 

My trans moment today is that handshake thing. It blows, my, mind. It's so innocuous, subtle, but super obvious at least to me. Actually, I think I'd call it one of the most beautiful things I've experienced in transition. I wish more people would talk about these kinds of things. I guess they aren't flashy enough, and they don't fit into some existing narrative or agenda about men and women.

 

That's a shame. I feel privileged that I get to experience them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Mezzo Forte

I went to a library book sale with a good friend, and we found a small section of the sale labeled "Gay and Lesbian Fiction." We always like to make quips like "The T is silent" and "T is for Tacet," so of course we started joking about that as we thumbed through the section.

 

You know what we end up finding there though? WPATH journals. :lol: They're from 2006 and 2008, but I paid a combined $0.75 for them. One of them even has an article detailing gender confirming surgeries with some pretty simple diagrams, (my friend was amused by how often the "neo" prefix popped up in them) so I suppose I can hand people that journal if they want to know more about phalloplasty when I don't want to get into it :P 

 

I bought a fair amount of music books too, one of which is John Cage's Silence: Lectures and Writings, which actually contains the quote I've been using to document my voice change all this time. :) 

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

This was some time ago but I remembered it.  That feeling when you're cis passing and in a group where someone makes a sexist joke meant to degrade your AGAB.  We were going in an order and when it was me or this guy deciding whether to go next, he said "ladies first".  He did kind of know that I wasn't a girl but may have forgotten that I was trans.  It's a weird feeling.

Link to post
Share on other sites
ChillaKilla
46 minutes ago, Emery. said:

Where shoul I post it?

 

Oh man... I envy handsomeness, really...

 

http://www.dapperq.com/2017/03/members-chinas-hottest-boy-band-reveal-women/

They're actually agender. There are so many articles spreading misinformation about them. They call themselves meishaonian instead of men or women. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/music/a9220620/ffc-acrush-genderless-boy-band/

 

I don't get why dapperQ, a supposedly queer friendly website, insists on misgendering them and calling them women repeatedly when they've said they don't identify as such.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, I think I fell in love with neckties. I always liked scarves, I almost always wear a scarf.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314
7 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

They're actually agender. There are so many articles spreading misinformation about them. They call themselves meishaonian instead of men or women. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/music/a9220620/ffc-acrush-genderless-boy-band/

 

I don't get why dapperQ, a supposedly queer friendly website, insists on misgendering them and calling them women repeatedly when they've said they don't identify as such.

I was just about to rant about this. The concept of nonbinary identities in general is clearly not unfamiliar to this site, so what gives? If this band gets big, it could be a huge boost for agender visibility, but not if everyone keeps on misgendering them. How hard is it to just listen to people when they tell you what they are and aren't???

 

There's a lot of the whole not-understanding-how-being-agender-works thing going around the Internet today... -_- *brushes excess salt off of self*

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

Mind: My New Year's resolution is to correct my parents when they call me the wrong pronoun!

Me now: ....

Link to post
Share on other sites
Groovy Teacakes

Not sure if this counts as a trans moment, but we've been studying transition metal complexes in chemistry and today we were learning about isomerism and the entire class was just full of people saying cis and trans every other word. Also I remember doing cis/trans isomerism of alkenes last year and reason for the difference in melting points is that the trans isomers are better at packing (which I found quite amusing). I guess you could say they bind together better... (maybe stretching it a tad)

Link to post
Share on other sites

A friend of mine has started using both she and he pronouns for me and he told me he has already gotten used to it. It feels so good and validating.

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

I was looking up prices for T instead of sleeping. While I was brushing my teeth I thought of this. My mom keeps touching and moving my stuff even after I tell her not to. So I'm thinking, a reason to get T (in gel or cream) is to say "don't touch my stuff unless you want to grow a mustache".

Link to post
Share on other sites
Groovy Teacakes

Lol, I just realised that the shampoo I use is called T-gel. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

...when the topic of transgenderism comes up in English class and you go under the radar and get nervous...

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

That weird feeling when you're somewhere and hear a girl say that the weather "is as hot as balls".

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

When you get your first ever ingrown facial hair just shy of 24 years old. :P 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314

I recently figured out a great way to deal with surveys that have a required gender question that only has binary options, as a nonbinary person.

I have a d12 that's structured such that it's a smaller one inside a larger, translucent d12. So now, whenever I have to "pick" a binary gender, I roll it 5 times, and if it happens more often that the inner and outer d12 come up both odd or both even, I pick female, and if it happens more often that one is odd and one is even, I pick male.

 

This works both from the standpoint of "if I'm going to be forced into an artificial binary, I might as well have fun with it" and from the standpoint of "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

Link to post
Share on other sites
<No longer active>

guys i had a weird dream last night... i dreamt that i'd had top surgery. I was going around with bandages and a flat chest, and i even at one point emptied some weird drains into the toilet.... IT WAS VERY FUN and i was getting called by the right pronouns and name XDDDDDDDDDDD

 

when i woke up in the morning there was so much euphoria. Such a good dream... just gotta remember that when i'm feeling down.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
2 hours ago, rivkael said:

guys i had a weird dream last night... i dreamt that i'd had top surgery. I was going around with bandages and a flat chest, and i even at one point emptied some weird drains into the toilet.... IT WAS VERY FUN and i was getting called by the right pronouns and name XDDDDDDDDDDD

 

when i woke up in the morning there was so much euphoria. Such a good dream... just gotta remember that when i'm feeling down.

Your dream is pretty much on the mark for what to expect for surgery, though you'd likely have to write down the measurements of how much came out of the drains rather than just dumping the contents in the toilet. :P 

 

Always nice to have gender euphoria to hold on to. Maybe your dream will come true soon enough :) 

Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777

At Target, I told my mom that I think I need new underwear because for some reason the seams at the edges seem to come apart, so I have this awkward opening at the bottom of my butt cheek.  She said that she doesn't like the waistband too big because it gets in the way.  Well, I like the thick waistband.  It might be because I associate the more material used with quality, even if it's not really the case.  (I tend to use the thick waistband to cover more of my belly so I don't have that muffin top thing.  But then my butt is really taking up space in there..)  Either that's proof that I'm trans, or it's just a coincidence because my mom has a jutting belly due to a reproductive complication she had some years ago.

 

Also, my mom has an unusually flat butt.  I wish I had that.  But her butt isn't the perfect flat kind.  It's like a smashed cake.  I would take what I can get, I suppose.  When my parents and I go to Costco and try to choose a round bread, they give me two that they picked out and ask me which is better.  All I say is "that's mom's butt and that one's rounder", to mean that the first was a bigger circle while the second is smaller but taller.  For some reason, I've noticed that we always choose mom's butt.

Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams

Talking to my coworker about cutting contact with my mom, and some obligatory events where I'll see her in the next year or so.

 

She says, "Well, Hadley, she's beyond denial at this point. I mean, you have boobs. It is what it is."

Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

Talking to my coworker about cutting contact with my mom, and some obligatory events where I'll see her in the next year or so.

 

She says, "Well, Hadley, she's beyond denial at this point. I mean, you have boobs. It is what it is."

Well, my mom has this old saying: "You can try to hide the grandma but you can't hide her cough!" 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
ChillaKilla

I was in for a few vaccines I needed to get before college today, and this happened:

 

Nurse: So this HPV shot is the one most people complain about, just a warning *injects*

Me: Nah it's fine. Barely feel it!

Nurse: *laughs a bit* I guess we have an office full of wusses

Me: I think it's the fact that stabbing myself in the abdomen every other week has desensitized me :P 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
1 minute ago, ChillaKilla said:

I was in for a few vaccines I needed to get before college today, and this happened:

 

Nurse: So this HPV shot is the one most people complain about, just a warning *injects*

Me: Nah it's fine. Barely feel it!

Nurse: *laughs a bit* I guess we have an office full of wusses

Me: I think it's the fact that stabbing myself in the abdomen every other week has desensitized me :P 

Reminds me of when I had my flu shot and I was messing with the nurse. "Oh that's cute, but where's the real needle?" :lol: 

 

Want a weird moment though? I actually had to take a pregnancy test right before my top surgery. :P 

Link to post
Share on other sites
ChillaKilla
6 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Reminds me of when I had my flu shot and I was messing with the nurse. "Oh that's cute, but where's the real needle?" :lol: 

 

Want a weird moment though? I actually had to take a pregnancy test right before my top surgery. :P 

:lol::lol::lol: I've seen the reverse happen, where a nurse insists a trans woman take a pregnancy test even after being told that she was literally not born with a uterus and remains lacking in that department.

Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams
13 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

:lol::lol::lol: I've seen the reverse happen, where a nurse insists a trans woman take a pregnancy test even after being told that she was literally not born with a uterus and remains lacking in that department.

Right here. I casually mentioned it to a guy at work who knows about me and the deadpan delivery had him in stitches, "So, I got this blood test back...turns out I'm not pregnant...so that's cool." :lol:

 

You know you've officially arrived as a trans person when you get two identical copies of a credit card offer in the mail. One under your new name and one under your old name.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte
9 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

:lol::lol::lol: I've seen the reverse happen, where a nurse insists a trans woman take a pregnancy test even after being told that she was literally not born with a uterus and remains lacking in that department.

Gotta love all the precautions :P 

 

"When was your last period?"

 

".... Uhh, a year ago maybe?"

 

"...we're gonna have to do a pregnancy test"

Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams

Oh, how could I have forgotten this one from today. Talking with friend at work about shopping for new clothes and really trying out some different styles.

 

"We should go out shopping together sometime. You just need to try a lot of stuff on."

Yeah, I know. I've been trying to get my brother to go with me.

"Ugh...Hadley, your brother isn't going to tell you your boobs look bad in that top..."

He...he might..........no...no I guess not.

 

Ahh, laughing at these little foibles might be the only thing that makes transition tolerable.

Link to post
Share on other sites

So I've been away from here for a long time.. I've actually been avoiding trans topics in general for a while but maybe writing some stuff out will do me some good even though I don't feel ready to keep reading/hearing about other people's lives and transitions yet (though I feel guilty about this, like I'm being selfish or disrespectful, so sorry).

 

Over the last month I've had a few doctors appointments to check out my chest, nothing trans related just standard checking, and it was really uncomfortable and weird for me to be in that office, getting examined by that type of doctor, but I guess one good thing to come out of the experience was that I got to tell a doctor for the first time that I'm trans and it was a lot more okay after that. He asked me if I was on t and even commented that my abdominal hair pattern was very masculine which was nice. Later another doctor who was doing some scan thingie on my chest also asked me if I was on t and said she had been wondering that even before I told her I was trans. 

 

She actually let me know it was an option to fill some sort of form to make a note about that so a doctor could be informed before I even met them. Because yeah, it seems that every time I end up coming out like this it's because I just get tired of hearing the wrong name and pronouns and remind myself that it's actually okay, or should be at least, to let these people know how I want to be called and treated because they're not like my family, or shouldn't be at least. 

 

And so far I've had nothing but positive or just okay reactions from everyone I've ever told except my family, but I just find it very awkward and wish I didn't have to do it. Especially because I often take it for granted that I pass and people are just going to see me as a guy and accept that my name's Adrian and so on, so then it sucks whenever I have to show my id or give any sort of info that includes my legal name and sex because suddenly that's all that exists and I don't pass anymore and I have to tell instead of just be.

 

Last week I think someone actually said something to my mom and I when we were out using a female word ending in plural, meaning they saw both of us as female and I'm still not sure if I heard right or if I was paranoid but I'm pretty sure that's what they said and it sucked so much because no one had addressed me as female just by looking at me, aside from my family obviously, for like over half a year and it was just a shitty reminder that I don't look male enough. Now I feel like I'm just being whiny because I know a lot of people aren't as lucky to pass as much as I do pre t but yeah it just sucked. That whole day was really weird actually because I had doctors calling me my name and male pronouns one moment and then I had my mom calling me the wrong name and pronouns the next. 

 

And my mom.. The day before mother's day we were out doing some stuff and on our way home somehow we got into the old convo about me being trans and how she'll always see me as female and as a daughter because that's what she gave birth to and how once I transition she probably won't want to see me anymore and how she would never dare tell anyone that I'm a trans man, that to her I'm just a lesbian, and how we the young people and psychologists have invented this craziness but that she won't fall into it and she even brought up how she hasn't forgotten that last year I made her a card for mother's day and signed it as Adrian. Her response to that card was that she would have rather I didn't sign at all because she didn't know an Adrian and so this year there was no card and no signing. 

 

Everything she said is stuff I've heard before from both her and my dad so I didn't cry as much this time, I just took it and told myself it was okay and then listened to music when I got home and cried a bit and calmed down. I've honestly lost all hope that either of them will accept me being trans. I had no hope for my dad and wanted my mom to be different with time even if it took her twenty years but I don't see that happening anymore and it hurts but it's fine. I feel like I'm finally getting to a point where I can recognize that whatever I am for whatever reason I am that way I'm just going to keep existing no matter what my parents' or anyone's opinion on that is and even if their words make me question myself at the end of the day I'm still the same way. Whatever they think I am or am not I just have to remember that what matters is how I feel and that I just have to keep going with what feels right, and for me that's just being a guy even though I have all the wrong parts and everyone I live with insists on that being crazy and impossible. 

 

I'm so freaking lucky I have my best friend though, even though she's on the other side of the world I spend most of my waking hours with her and I probably would be even more lost without her. Everyone should have someone like her to tell you why you're whatever you are and why you're awesome in days you can't see it for yourself. 

 

I don't know if any of this made sense or if it's weird or if anyone even read it but yeah I guess I just needed to get some recent stuff off my chest and I'll probably do this every once in a while and maybe eventually I'll start reading other people's stories again.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...