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nerdperson777

Trans Moments?

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nerdperson777

I was wondering, if we have Ace moments, can we have trans moments? Either way, I have a story.

For dinner the past day, I was going to eat with a team I'm part of. The leader is a transwoman, and she and I are good friends. The dinner was to discuss our plans for the future so I told my parents a time that was an hour earlier than the dinner so I unintentionally had to leave home an hour early. I was going to do something with that time but the leader, my friend, said I could come over to her place to hang out until dinner. She had me distracted with her piano when she went to the bathroom to put on a bra (she isn't out to her family). Since I drove to her house, she said she would drive both of us to the restaurant. What happened in the car was hilarious.

After starting the car and driving a bit, she made a grunting sound and moved a bit, which I'd believe to be the bra done wrong or something. I started snickering a bit. Later, I remark about how my tie isn't done correctly. She says, "We're like the reverse couple." Then the car in front of us was really slow. She says, "The person in front of us is so slow. Should just flash them." *flicks on high beams for a second* Me: "Flash them.." She lightly punches me in the arm. "I could get you for that." :lol:

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fairygirl

i have dreamed to find somebody (transguy) to do this reverse couple thing and freak out a lot of people for years. Sad news are that I'm 6 feet 3" and i need a transguy who is about the same height as me for this to look natural.

generally - TS people are sooo rare, it's great to have someone. And even better if you get along and can have inside jokes :)

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Random Happenstance

Dunno if this counts as a trans moment, but I was once in a market buying stuff with my mum. At the veg stall the person there refers to me (can't remember why they needed to) as he... and then she... and then he again, and basically fell over themselves trying to figure out what I was, and asking me very awkwardly saying "I'm not sure, is it he or she?" and the like. Since I wasn't out to my mum at the time I just laughed and didn't answer as they couldn't figure it out rather than saying I'm neither or misgendering myself... I think the poor stall owner was really getting in a pickle. It's the only time I've ever got someone so confused.

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Certified Cake Decorator

When you send your friend into a bathroom first to make sure it's clear so you wont get harassed.

Trans moments

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Heart

I like this idea, let's make it happen :D

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nerdperson777

It felt kind of different when that friend of mine had to fix bra straps and not me. I didn't normally fix my straps when I wore them but my binder has wider straps, yay. Also HRT gave her a curvier body than me when I don't even take hormones. HRT girl has more feminine body than biological girl. But I guess my genetics made me pretty masculine already while still looking like a girl.

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fairygirl

depends when you (your friend) start HRT as well. Pre twenty can sometimes yield fantastic results while 35+ can be so-so, i have heard.

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nerdperson777

depends when you (your friend) start HRT as well. Pre twenty can sometimes yield fantastic results while 35+ can be so-so, i have heard.

My friend looks pretty androgynous right now for starting two years ago. She says it'd be a good time to start right now if I wanted to take HRT. I would rather just talk in a lower voice since I would like to go high if I wanted to. Other than that, I wouldn't mind having a more masculine body. I'd just also be afraid of sudden changes and I don't want to be the hairy manly dude that lifts hundred pound weights.

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TheAspieBaker

I was dressed pretty masculine at the bookstore the other day (jacket, large shirt, baggy jeans, sneakers, beanie cap), and I sat down at the cafe to read. A guy sitting at the table next to mine looked up from his book for two seconds to see me sitting close to him and then he went back to reading. So a few minutes go by, my stepdad tells me my mom is ready to leave in a few minutes and I say, "Okay." without remembering my voice is like super high pitched and feminine and the dude sitting across from me looks up and stares at me IMMEDIATELY after I spoke. His face was like 'whut...' o_o... lol it was kinda funny.

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Calligraphette_Coe

Driving and being about dressed nicely in New Jersey with a gay male friend and we were both taken for suburban housewives. That same day, meeting the mother of another transperson who accepted her completely and talking like 'just folks' about many different things *other* than only gender.

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C-3PO

I've been called a boy on several occasions(sometimes even without wearing a binder!!) it makes me very confident in my 'transness' like I give masc vibe or something that people call me a boy.

One time my friend(who knows I prefer he/him but never used it) accidently called me 'he' with people who don't know that I'm trans and it was such a surprise! We just laughed it off but it was really nice and the other day a man who thinks I'm a girl and doesn't know called me a boy(I just got my hair cut very short).

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nerdperson777

Maybe we also need a trans problems thread, or coming out thread, 'cause I had to actually talk serious with my parents earlier today and I had to come out, not the first time since I wasn't taken seriously the first few times. Mom didn't realize how she gave me my mental issues but she was crying over the fact that she's failed her role as a parent. After that was almost done, I told them that I was going to a trans/gender non-conforming camp to meet other people like me and discover myself. So I had to explain to my parents while they still failed to understand. Mom said, "I rather you be lesbian than transgender." I said, "IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE." She kept trying to relate me to Ellen Degeneres. Telling parents that she still identifies as female doesn't do anything. I tried to explain that I can't be lesbian if I identify as a guy. Dad said, "But you're a girl." *gripe, gripe gripe* He's a hopeless cause. Mom has a chance.

I also gave up on telling them about asexuality. I did tell them I didn't like anyone but I prefer female companions.

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Worry! At the Theatre

I take a lot of my cues about masculinity from the guys around me, which has led to some pretty entertaining moments with friends, and sometimes with random strangers, where I don't realize or take into account that with my makeup and wig I look pretty feminine... it's probably weird to notice a femme-y looking chick sitting a certain way or holding a door open or wearing guy's clothing if that's not a thing you're used to.

When I don't wear the wig I notice a lot of guys will give me angry looks, thinking I'm a gay man... but then sometimes bi-curious gay guys will hit on me, which is a huge boost to my ego. I remember once, I was downtown, and three gay guys (probably drunk) asked if I wanted to do such-and-such with them... they were so tall and they looked like a boy band, it was such a strange experience that I just kept laughing and couldn't stop laughing and nearly fell over. Fortunately they were nice about it when I said no thanks. But it was funny.

Meanwhile a lot of women will assume I'm a lesbian when I'm butched-out and they'll be overly nice to me. Usually it's college-aged girls. Sometimes older cougar lesbians who work cash registers and stuff will touch my hand when they give me change. It used to annoy me but now I think it's cute/funny. I'm like instant gaydar, I guess.

I don't know if it's really a "trans moment" sort of thing since I'm not specifically trans... I've identified that way in the past, but after careful reflection I've noticed I don't really think of myself as any particular gender for the most part. When I'm alone by myself I'm just me, not Me The Woman or Me The Transsexual or whatever else, and I think physically transitioning would limit me. I like being able to fill out a tank top, when all is said and done, and I'd miss my piercings, and I think with my anxiety I wouldn't be able to handle the stink and extra body hair that seems to accompany being male-bodied (no offense to any men reading this).

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TheAspieBaker

I always wanna chat with guys I meet at places, but I'm always scared to start a random conversation. Presenting as a girl like I used to, it was easy and guys seemed to welcome the conversation. But dressed and presenting as a guy? With a girly voice still? I get really nervous and I end up not saying anything. I have no clue how regular guys make new friends lol

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nerdperson777

I always wanna chat with guys I meet at places, but I'm always scared to start a random conversation. Presenting as a girl like I used to, it was easy and guys seemed to welcome the conversation. But dressed and presenting as a guy? With a girly voice still? I get really nervous and I end up not saying anything. I have no clue how regular guys make new friends lol

Act cool and "sup" it up. No, I'm kidding. :lol:

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Sgt Salt

I'm transmasculine, and I've already had almost a dozen people think I'm a boy, which is thrilling for me, but not so thrilling when everyone else corrects them and tells me I need to grow my hair out longer and act more like a girl. #TransMoments :(

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Emery.

A chat over some films.

Girl 1: Godfather! It was boring.

Guy 1: How can one not like godfather?!

Girl 1:(something about that , that very brutal etc + frozen were cool)

Me (asking Girl 2): Tell me, what is so fun about songs in films? They're not really interesting

Girl 2: They're very romantic!

Me: The music isn't very special

Girl 2: Words? Ha ha (for context: we had similar converations before, her and me, that was the reason why she was laughing)

I look at her boyfirend with question (Guy 2)

Guy 2: Women! One just cannot understand them!

Me: What do you expect me to reply to this (pointing at my dress)?

Guy 2: Ah, you're a girl, you pretty much look like one. So other women. (smiles)

Me: Those are really wierd sometimes...

Or when a guy friend is curious why women e.g. shop so much or do their nails or something, and trying to get the anwser out of me, and I just plain don't know and continuously say it's a tribal custom :)

Or the moment you become a "dude" with long hair, boobs and stuff( blah blah blah, dude, isn't it? blah blah blah. /oh, dude!) . Or when they address you by mistake (not the grocery store stranger mistake) by masculine form of a verb (my native lang.). This kind of unconscious mistake, or habituation to use it towards fiends.

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Heart

Someone else, directed at me: "Why do women ______?" (eg, shop so much, get so crazy sometimes, care so much about this or that...)

Me (AFAB): "I don't know, let's go find one and ask her!"

I love these moments, and it's happened more than once too :)

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luxurieux

Just being AFAB and nonbinary, or genderqueer, or whatever I am -

One time during a class discussion, I remembered the statistic I'd heard about how women in a classroom only speak like 30% of the time (or something, I can't remember) and that's usually seen as them taking up half of the conversation, but when they actually speak 50% of the time, they're seen as dominating the discussion. So I decided to count the males and females in the classroom, but when I was counting the males, I accidentally included myself. It was weird. I'd just started considering my gender and what that really means to me (I still don't really get it) so it kind of took me by surprise. But I still find myself doing this on occasion.

And at this point, I just cringe whenever I see a test or form or whatever else that only has the options male and female.

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Random Happenstance

Had a nice moment the other day. I was having to look after a 10 year old kid (which is not my favourite of things...) but eventually our conversation went like this:

Me: -shows off my hairy legs-

Them: you don't shave like a lady do you?

Me: nope, no one has to

Them: you're not a girly girl are you?

Me: absolutely not!

Them: do you want to be a boy or a girl?

Me: I'm happy being neither.

Me (thinking): did I just come out to a 10 year old? what?

Them: -accepts what I said and moves on-

So that was sort of nice. Although the kid also asked me about menstruation and triggered dysphoria in the same conversation, so yeah. But it was nice to answer the question honestly for once, without fear (cause who fears a 10 year old, really).

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(A)rrogant Avian

I can remember when I was younger I wore my borther's clothing instead of wearing my clothing and in primary school, I wore the school pants and the teachers kept telling me that I needed to wear a dress. I always felt very uncomfortable wearing a dress, or any woman's clothing of any sort.

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butterflydreams

As Charlie Sheen would say, this thread is winning! I love it ^_^

It's practically impossible at this point for me to feel like I can say I'm trans anything (fear?), though I'm pretty set that I was not assigned agender at birth, so take that mismatch as you will. My two-fold hope for a future "trans moment" would be 1) get called cute and 2) be mistaken for a girl (passing I guess).

I think with my anxiety I wouldn't be able to handle the stink and extra body hair that seems to accompany being male-bodied (no offense to any men reading this).

None taken :P you have my vote in not wanting it (the body hair anyway, it's easy for anyone to smell nice if you...ya know...bathe regularly). I can't believe it took me, let's just call it an even decade, to realize, "hey, all that ugly leg hair, underarm hair, chest hair...it's pretty easy to make it go away you know." We somehow convinced people to sit atop glorified ICMBs to go into space, and we totally invented razors! Seriously! I swear the only reason I think I didn't do it earlier was 1) living with my parents and sharing a room with my younger brother, so no privacy and 2) AMABs aren't supposed to do that. Too bad, because it feels right! Granted, I did it in the winter when I'm all covered up in public, but I'm hopeful that when summer comes around, and I get back on my bike, I'll be used to it, or better yet, feel like for once in my life I can be myself unashamedly.

Maybe we also need a trans problems thread, or coming out thread, 'cause I had to actually talk serious with my parents earlier today and I had to come out, not the first time since I wasn't taken seriously the first few times. Mom didn't realize how she gave me my mental issues but she was crying over the fact that she's failed her role as a parent. After that was almost done, I told them that I was going to a trans/gender non-conforming camp to meet other people like me and discover myself. So I had to explain to my parents while they still failed to understand. Mom said, "I rather you be lesbian than transgender." I said, "IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE." She kept trying to relate me to Ellen Degeneres. Telling parents that she still identifies as female doesn't do anything. I tried to explain that I can't be lesbian if I identify as a guy. Dad said, "But you're a girl." *gripe, gripe gripe* He's a hopeless cause. Mom has a chance.

I also gave up on telling them about asexuality. I did tell them I didn't like anyone but I prefer female companions.

Sheesh, it's things like this that pretty much confirm my feelings that giving my parents that level of detail into these parts of my life is just a waste of my time and theirs. I've recently gone through a LOT of divorcing between myself and them. Hell, that's what's enabled me to be sitting here on my couch, wearing what I'm wearing right now ^_^. I know they love me, but I also know they harbor a lot of negativity. I can't be around it anymore. I honestly can't even imagine what they would say if I told them about my "gender rumblings". I have the luxury of being totally independent and not needing to tell them anything. I can just imagine my dad calling it "bullshit hippie nonsense" or "I knew it, you've been spending too much time up there with those hippies, now you are one".

Ugh...I feel your pain nerdperson. I hope your mom can make her way around. I hope your dad can too. I don't believe anyone is truly a hopeless cause. I'm living proof of that.

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Trava u doma

Someone else, directed at me: "Why do women ______?" (eg, shop so much, get so crazy sometimes, care so much about this or that...)

Me (AFAB): "I don't know, let's go find one and ask her!"

I love these moments, and it's happened more than once too :)

Yeah, in those moments I tend to be like "dunno, don't ask me".

I'm not a girly enough girl for most people.

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Sgt Salt

Today someone tried arguing with me that only 2 genders exist and anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid. #ClosetedNonbinaryPersonProbs

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festiff

firstly at work, i'm not open about my gender stuff but anyway this happened once at lunch:

a colleague comes to ask if "there were any men around?" to open a bottle for her. one female work colleague "no, none". at this point, i look up from the book i am reading and smile. the second colleague "oh, sorry i forgot about you"

i didn't have the heart to say "no, no, no, you were right the first time" ;)

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C-3PO

Oh man, today a teacher called me a boy!!(I was wearing a hoodie, and when I looked up she immediately apologized and all) and it so!! nice!! especially now I am in a more masc period(i guess?)

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nerdperson777

Sheesh, it's things like this that pretty much confirm my feelings that giving my parents that level of detail into these parts of my life is just a waste of my time and theirs. I've recently gone through a LOT of divorcing between myself and them. Hell, that's what's enabled me to be sitting here on my couch, wearing what I'm wearing right now ^_^. I know they love me, but I also know they harbor a lot of negativity. I can't be around it anymore. I honestly can't even imagine what they would say if I told them about my "gender rumblings". I have the luxury of being totally independent and not needing to tell them anything. I can just imagine my dad calling it "bullshit hippie nonsense" or "I knew it, you've been spending too much time up there with those hippies, now you are one".

Ugh...I feel your pain nerdperson. I hope your mom can make her way around. I hope your dad can too. I don't believe anyone is truly a hopeless cause. I'm living proof of that.

It's interesting because I never actually said "I'm attracted to girls" and they got all these thoughts in their head.

Oh, I wonder how this is going to turn out..

https://www.dropbox.com/s/a633axxvu8n4u23/2015-01-08%2023.35.42.png?dl=0

Trans problems sigh.

There was only one more statement after that, and it was her freaking out. She thinks I'm getting bad influences from my transwoman friend and I'm going to transition all the way. If I do anything, it's just partial. I'm not that extreme or drastic.

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butterflydreams

Sheesh, it's things like this that pretty much confirm my feelings that giving my parents that level of detail into these parts of my life is just a waste of my time and theirs. I've recently gone through a LOT of divorcing between myself and them. Hell, that's what's enabled me to be sitting here on my couch, wearing what I'm wearing right now ^_^. I know they love me, but I also know they harbor a lot of negativity. I can't be around it anymore. I honestly can't even imagine what they would say if I told them about my "gender rumblings". I have the luxury of being totally independent and not needing to tell them anything. I can just imagine my dad calling it "bullshit hippie nonsense" or "I knew it, you've been spending too much time up there with those hippies, now you are one".

Ugh...I feel your pain nerdperson. I hope your mom can make her way around. I hope your dad can too. I don't believe anyone is truly a hopeless cause. I'm living proof of that.

It's interesting because I never actually said "I'm attracted to girls" and they got all these thoughts in their head.

Oh, I wonder how this is going to turn out..

https://www.dropbox.com/s/a633axxvu8n4u23/2015-01-08%2023.35.42.png?dl=0

Trans problems sigh.

There was only one more statement after that, and it was her freaking out. She thinks I'm getting bad influences from my transwoman friend and I'm going to transition all the way. If I do anything, it's just partial. I'm not that extreme or drastic.

And so what if you were transitioning all the way? I don't see how that should make much difference. (Also, are most trans people not on hormones? My ocean of unknowledge is showing!)

There are so many worse influences you could be under. I really really hope you can help to turn her around to you. I mean, if it's not in the cards, it's not in the cards, but parents are huge. For so much of my life I lived and died for the support of my parents (often to my own detriment). It's a hard thing to separate yourself from, and something I hope to one day undo.

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(A)rrogant Avian

My mother thinks that I want to be a boy, because I don't want to be a girl. It's like she cannot understand that I don't want to be either.

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nerdperson777
Having to re-explain to Dad what t* is, how people can feel not totally male or female.


Dad: "Is it like an elevator?"

Mom: "Well if it's horizontal, then it's a treadmill."

I wasn't sure where the conversation got hijacked to.

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