Umm... Interesting viewpoint for Greyasexuals...

[Janus the Fox]

Though I feel inclined to agree with that until the end sentences hmm...

[Jamesasaur]

Sounds like something a certain former member of aven would say.

[Philip027]

There's no spectrum

Disagree.

Dude sounds like he's got some emotional issues, for that matter. I think he needs to worry more about himself making asexuality looking like a "joke" before he worries about others...

[TealXLIV]

"Asexuality is, just like any other sexuality, something in your brain, something you can't control."

Exactly, I can't control the fact I won't have the possibility to feel sexual attraction to people unless I'm emotionally close to them. I'm not like sexual people where I can just see a "hot babe" and want to "hit that all night." I physically and mentally can't. So to lump me with sexual people would be wrong. To call someone like me "garbage" is just a fallacy so I'll leave that be. Just makes the poster seem butthurt. And really, no one needs to know anything about anyone's sexuality. No one needs to know you're asexual, demisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, whatever. No one needs to know unless they have a reason to know.

I have no respect for this person since they're shoving their nose in a place they don't understand. Shouting ignorance and calling demisexuals "garbage" and our sexuality as "that shit."

[WhenSummersGone]

I disagree. Demisexuals and gray-a's are on the asexual spectrum and not the sexual spectrum. As a Demisexual I'm pretty sure I have a place here where I don't feel anything like Asexuals. I also have no respect towards this person. If sexuals have feelings then so do we.

[Robin L]

Sadly the world isn't a nice dichotomy as one would like to believe.

[Schrecken]

I wonder if that person would call bisexual people "garbage" because either they surely must be 100% gay or 100% straight, since there can be nothing in between....or maybe he would bisexuality and homosexuality one in the same with no distinctions? Seriously, since when do all sexual orientations have a black and white line separating them from each other?

[Satin]

Well, I like the first three sentences of that message, after that it mostly goes downhill. I do agree though that there is no such thing as an asexual spectrum. There is just a sexual spectrum and asexuality is part of it: it's at the very bottom.

Asides that, it's cruel how that person dismisses the feelings of greysexuals and demisexuals. Being at the far ends of the spectrum can be an experience strongly differing from those of "normal" sexuals. I don't think every person that falls under the grey part of the spectrum feels alienated from sexuals but there certainly are those that do. Pretending those feelings don't matter and even going as far as calling such people "garbage"... I have no words for this.

[Ricecream-man]

It just comes off as special snowflake syndrome to me. The inclusion of others into this person's self definition seems to cheapen it. A "You're not as special as me so stop pretending you're like me" reaction.

The whole point of AVEN and additional definitions of asexuality is that it's a way to differentiate a series of common outliers from what is defined as "the norm" and so accepted by the majority of society. I would venture to say that everybody asexual here has suffered to a similar degree because of their asexuality. While some may have suffered more due to a combination of other reasons, the discrimination that they've received due to asexuality is most probably similar.

[pyroshadow]

Yeah I agree with the other AVEN people, this guy is probably out looking to start fights or is grumpy that SOMETIMES people have sex that wouldn't normally, I'm Demi and when I talk to asexuals VS sexuals, I can very much tell I am closer associated to them than sexuals, as Satin said, there isn't an "asexual spectrum" there is an over all sexual spectrum.

[Frac]

Well, I mentioned my own opinion on demisexuality on Hot Box lately, and in some sense agree that "slightly" asexual is a dubious thing, and a better way to describe demi is not to compare it to asexuality, but to an extremely specific preference that is incredibly hard to fulfill. That doesn't mean graces or demis can't relate to ace issues, however, which is why they should be welcome in AVEN and other ace hangouts nevertheless. This isn't really contradictory at all, because we already welcome people like celibate sexuals for the same reason. However, I don't think gray-a is the same as only being rarely sexual. In fact, in some sense, I feel that it describes me to a certain degree as well. However, I feel asexual is accurate enough, because I've never wanted to have sex with anyone in my life.

[pyroshadow]

In another topic someone mentioned how if you think of sexuality as a scale than asexaulity would be one extreme, and I guess so form of sexuality as the polar opposite, but if one was to draw demi's or gray's onto the scale they'd be far far closer to the asexual side than sexual. they aren't "asexual" but a form of asexuality

[Ricecream-man]

In another topic someone mentioned how if you think of sexuality as a scale than asexaulity would be one extreme, and I guess so form of sexuality as the polar opposite, but if one was to draw demi's or gray's onto the scale they'd be far far closer to the asexual side than sexual. they aren't "asexual" but a form of asexuality

I don't know about far far closer. I think it would depend on the type of grey or the type of demi that you are and how often/ how much sex becomes important to you respectively.

To say that it's far far closer to the asexual side would imply that there's something in between demi and sexual, and I can't think of anything that would fit.

I still adamantly believe that it makes complete sense to include it all under asexuality as both myself and Frac have already explained. I'm not quite sure celibates go through the same issue seeing as they still have the urges but are struggling to resist them. Of course all should be welcome to partake, that's the point of the purple community is it not?

[Rising Sun]

Every community has its extremists. :( There is no exception.

[-aurora-]

Although my feelings don't fully align with those of sexual *or* asexual people, I seem to be much more at home in ace communities (providing that they are welcoming towards gray-a people and aren't disparaging about those who have sex). I am sexualised and assumed to be sexual so much by others in our (predominantly sexual) society that it can feel really refreshing to just hang out in a space with people who have similar feelings about sex to me.

I would happily be in a relationship with no sex but I would struggle to have a relationship with a sexual person, unless they were happy to rarely or never have sex. To me, this makes me closer to 'asexual' than 'sexual'. It's a spectrum :)

[Tessc]

"Garbage"? What a lovely thing to be called at this time of year. How festive. *wishes desperately for a sarcasm font*

Let's see here... I am 30 years old and have never had sex. I have never been kissed. I have also never had the desire to do either one of those things. BUT! I identify as grey because I'm open to the experience if it's ever on offer. Which I highly doubt it ever will be considering my severe lack of interest.

"Asexuality isn't a spectrum." Just exactly like sexuality isn't a spectrum. Oh... wait... tell that to my gay neighbours, will you?

As stated so very well above, OP obviously has special snowflake syndrome. This is one of the many reasons I avoid tumblr.

[TalkingCherryPit]

I'd like to point out that the reason we have labels at all isn't to group people together, but to communicate efficiently. Matters of the mind are nearly impossible to fit into a singular box, as every mind is fundamentally different. For example, we can divide animals into family, genus, and species based on bone structure, habitat, diet and such, but minds aren't quite so easily quantifiable. One may show signs of belonging to several completely different groups at once. So how do we go qbout describing someone who does this instead of that? Despite the ambiguity and diversity, for the sake of language and understanding, we label ourselves.

Remember, language is an imperfect medium that doesn't have to perfectly define you in order for your experiences to be valid and anyone who disagrees is taking language too seriously. (A square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn't a square. QED.)

[littlepersonparadox]

If gray-a's and demi's feel that they belong within our community let them. Finding a way to be able to understand yourself and communicate about how you feel is the entire reason we use labels in the first place. If a group of people feel that this is the best way to describe them, let them. The tumbler post was elitist from start to finish, no question about that.

I feel like i have said this quote a thousand times over the past few days; "Labels are not a perfect description of the human condition, they are there to help you find people LIKE you." - Tab Thomson. All of sexuality is a spectrum there is no black an white.

[Steph Ace]

*sigh* Maybe if we leave it alone the trolls will run out of food?

Then again, I want to poke it with a stick! :twisted:

[Ziggy_G]

This makes me want to hug grey-aces and tell them they're welcome to any of my asexual parties

[Ricecream-man]

This makes me want to hug grey-aces and tell them they're welcome to any of my asexual parties

Yay!

[Forest fairy]

Well, even if I strongly disagree with "there is no spectrum" and I think this person is being disrespectful of differences and generally rude... I must confess that my subconscious tells me something very similar to this outburst. (Which tells something about my subconscious, I guess :) ) I was so scared that I was just "seeking to be special" that when I first read about demisexuality and grey-A about year ago, I didn't even dare to give it a serious thought. The general attitude here on Aven that encourages to explore and ask and all the people saying that you doesn't have to commit to a specific orientation if you don't feel like it and that the orientation can change in time... this all enabled me for the very first time to explore my preferences more deeply. Even if I don't find a term that describes me exactly, I find it really liberating that I can connect here with people that, similar to me, don't fit in the general idea of sexuality and have similar experiences. :)

[cerussite]

i'm new here. "hi" everyone. reading stuff like this is frustrating for me. i identify best as demi, and i don't feel like i fit in anywhere. i've never fit in with my friends, who (all of them) have engaged in fulfilling casual sex and/or ONS. i've always just thought maybe i was "prude". I've been lauded on my "high moral standards", which is irritating because i don't feel the way i do because of some moralistic viewpoint. i have no problem with people who are comfortable with casual sex, in fact, i wish i could be more like them at times.

and then i read something like the original post here, and feel alienated all over. i'm not seeking to be a special snowflake; as i said, i'd rather not be this way. i wish i could fit in with so-called "normal" society. when i try to engage with the rest of society, i feel freaked out at how hypersexual all these other people seem, and how comfortable they seem to be with it.

put succinctly, i feel very alienated.