Soul Connections

[NeroReaper]

So I want to ask what you guys think on this, ever met someone someone who is so special to you. That it almost seems unreal? Like you feel their pain as your own, literally. That if they die, that you could not go on without them?

Well, me and a best friend/secret lover are in that situation, we met six years ago and been tight ever since. I have tried to end the friendship and everything, but it feels as if 'fate' or whatever you wanna call it keeps pulling me back to him.

Can I get your guy's thoughts?

Thanks.

[dissolved]

Is this not what people are on about when they say they've met their soulmate?

I've had pretty amazing connections with people but not to the extent you've described, nor how people describe their soulmates.

[whitesphere]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

[Angelica Soprano]

Agreed above. It's much more peaceful if you don't! ^_^

[whitesphere]

Is this not what people are on about when they say they've met their soulmate?

I've had pretty amazing connections with people but not to the extent you've described, nor how people describe their soulmates.

You might have met people who are not your Soulmates, but are in what I call your Soul Family. These are the kinds of people you'd love to have a relationship with (if you want one at all, that is).

As soon as you meet them, you feel like you've known them all your life. But, they are NOT necessarily here to teach you the hardest lessons. These can be your True Companions, in the classic RPG sense, or friends who are closer to you than your family. As a partner, there is a strong, deep commonality. But, fortunately, it's not nearly as stormy as a Soulmate connection.

My 2 closest friends are definitely part of my Soul Family.

[Winnie_A]

I have someone like this.

[SirenDragon]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

[Sage Raven Domino]

I've just gone through such an illusion (thinking that someone was a soulmate and the puzzle of life had fit into its place in my head etc.) and I think that the reason is that altered hormonal balance makes you pay too much attention to things that you have in common with that person and too little attention to aspects where you differ. That's called rose-tinted glasses.

The situation is different in your case, though, because your bond has lasted for 6 years already and you now have a strong attachment, you two have gradually altered your own personalities to become more compatible with the partner. But at the beginning, it must have involved rose-tinted glasses, you were closing eyes on each other's shortcomings.

A Russian satirist Mikhail Zadornov said, 'An ideal family is one where the husband snores and the wife is deaf'.

Google 'stages of love', this theory is well-known.

[AshenPhoenix]

A "soulmate" is traditionally, in most cultures, the one person in the world that is supposedly meant to be with you, or at least, someone you are wholly compatible with and/or would have a great relationship with. Now while I don't necessarily believe in the idea of "one person is out there that's 100% perfect for you", I also don't think it's necessarily irrefutable that a soulmate, or someone you seem to be mostly compatible with and will have a great relationship with, is implausible. There are plenty of couple who have been together since they were 16, and die together at 60, my grandparent being one such couple. Now no relationship is perfect so the idea of someoen who you never have problems with is stupid, but I think a soulmate is someone you can SOLVE all of your problems with, and spend your life together, happily, with them.

I've just gone through such an illusion (thinking that someone was a soulmate and the puzzle of life had fit into its place in my head etc.) and I think that the reason is that altered hormonal balance makes you pay too much attention to things that you have in common with that person and too little attention to aspects where you differ. That's called rose-tinted glasses.

The situation is different in your case, though, because your bond has lasted for 6 years already and you now have a strong attachment, you two have gradually altered your own personalities to become more compatible with the partner. But at the beginning, it must have involved rose-tinted glasses, you were closing eyes on each other's shortcomings.

I don't really think the "seeing through rose tinted glasses" thing is true, or that everything would come down to an altered hormonal balance. I consider my partner my soul mate, I know we both have flaws, and we've had rocky bumps in our life. But I can say I completely and wholly love them, and can see my relationship going for a long time (I won't say forever since that's an absolute and even I, the person in the relationship, have no idea what could happen). I feel like being with him truly HAS kind of been that "missing puzzle piece" so to speak. And the rose tinted glasses tend to wear off after a month or two :v

[Himegami]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

You can either perceive it as victim-blaming, or you could believe in that concept and say "I survived and learned from this experience" or "I didn't survive, next time I can do better and improve myself as a soul".

That's if you believe the concept.

I think believing in reincarnation isn't a harmful practice. It can actually be quite positive and empowering. :)

[Angelica Soprano]

I'll stick with my theory of genetic (only) reincarnation, as the religious angle just doesn't compute.

[TheStarrySkai]

Yeah. My friend who I had a crush on graduated early and moved to a different state since her house burned down. I honestly started crying at one point. It was the first time I ever cried for someone. I hope I get to see her again...

I also have a friend that I consider my best friend. After I got abused I told her before anyone else. I don't know why. I guess I trusted her the most.

[Sage Raven Domino]

I think religion isn't needed to explain the phenomenon. It's simply that there are 7 bln people on the planet, 500-ish mln out of them are in the eligible age/gender group, and out of them, surely someone who's compatible by 80-90% can be found, chemistry and adaptation do the rest of the job. We, aces, have to have more tolerance for each other's personalities because our circle is so narrow; probably 60% compatibility in other (unrelated to sex) areas is enough to declare each other 'soulmates'.

[SirenDragon]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

You can either perceive it as victim-blaming, or you could believe in that concept and say "I survived and learned from this experience" or "I didn't survive, next time I can do better and improve myself as a soul".

That's if you believe the concept.

I think believing in reincarnation isn't a harmful practice. It can actually be quite positive and empowering. :)

My issue isn't the implication that a 'soul' survived a horrible experience. My issue is the implication that the soul asked for the horrible experience in the first place. I wonder if you even read what I was responding to; I'll quote: 'Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.'

See? This person implied that souls ASK for trauma from other souls. That is what I have a problem with.

Of course, I don't actually believe in souls and I know that none of this nonsense is true, but I am still deeply offended by it and think the belief is harmful in the same way that, say, a gay atheist being told he'll burn in hell would be offended and hurt and would think that belief is harmful.

[Angelica Soprano]

Strange thing is that so many of these 'soul mates' turn out to be, or into 'mates from hell' once one marries them, and they then want their 95 % pound of flesh at the departure. :twisted:

[Vap0riel]

My best friend is my soulmate. I'm not saying that the two of us are perfect for eachother either, but we click and have the strongest bond I've ever had with anyone. Whether we're in the same room or thirty miles away from each other she senses when my depression flares up before anyone else does - and knows exactly what to say. I'm the same with her.

I feel like I've known her for life times, and our on going joke is that we were lovers in our past lives, but we've hit a snag in this life and had the opposite sexualities this time around.

I know it all sounds corny - but we really are soul mates in my mind. Ive been there through all her relationships and her there for mine. But we fight like cats and dogs too at time - and always manage to end our arguments with some sort of smile.

Maybe I dont believe in past lives, but I do believe in connections so strong that no matter what happens the friendship or relationship can always be repaired. We connected to each other before we even met each other - maybe our souls are just magnetized towards each other.

[Himegami]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

You can either perceive it as victim-blaming, or you could believe in that concept and say "I survived and learned from this experience" or "I didn't survive, next time I can do better and improve myself as a soul".

That's if you believe the concept.

I think believing in reincarnation isn't a harmful practice. It can actually be quite positive and empowering. :)

My issue isn't the implication that a 'soul' survived a horrible experience. My issue is the implication that the soul asked for the horrible experience in the first place. I wonder if you even read what I was responding to; I'll quote: 'Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.'

See? This person implied that souls ASK for trauma from other souls. That is what I have a problem with.

Of course, I don't actually believe in souls and I know that none of this nonsense is true, but I am still deeply offended by it and think the belief is harmful in the same way that, say, a gay atheist being told he'll burn in hell would be offended and hurt and would think that belief is harmful.

Yes, I understand reincarnation very well. I know what you were saying :)

Those who do believe in reincarnation are very aware that it could be seen as victim-blaming.Our attitude isn't "You chose this, it's your fault. Get over it". Of course not. We understand that while on Earth it is a truly traumatic event, and it is not easy to get over. We understand it takes time to heal, and there is nothing but time to learn. That is how we see it. We see everyone as teachers, who provide us with knowledge in our lives to learn from experiences. That's why I am saying it can be empowering. We are not invalidating a traumatic event! Matter of fact, we are completely validating it. :)

People learn from traumatic events in their lives, big or small. And they are all valid emotions. And everyone can learn from those experiences.

That is what we are saying. That's all. There is no "fault" and "get over it". In our eyes, experience makes us who we are, good or bad.

Those who believe really do not mean any harm and find it very liberating.

[SirenDragon]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

You can either perceive it as victim-blaming, or you could believe in that concept and say "I survived and learned from this experience" or "I didn't survive, next time I can do better and improve myself as a soul".

That's if you believe the concept.

I think believing in reincarnation isn't a harmful practice. It can actually be quite positive and empowering. :)

My issue isn't the implication that a 'soul' survived a horrible experience. My issue is the implication that the soul asked for the horrible experience in the first place. I wonder if you even read what I was responding to; I'll quote: 'Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.'

See? This person implied that souls ASK for trauma from other souls. That is what I have a problem with.

Of course, I don't actually believe in souls and I know that none of this nonsense is true, but I am still deeply offended by it and think the belief is harmful in the same way that, say, a gay atheist being told he'll burn in hell would be offended and hurt and would think that belief is harmful.

Yes, I understand reincarnation very well. I know what you were saying :)

Those who do believe in reincarnation are very aware that it could be seen as victim-blaming.Our attitude isn't "You chose this, it's your fault. Get over it". Of course not. We understand that while on Earth it is a truly traumatic event, and it is not easy to get over. We understand it takes time to heal, and there is nothing but time to learn. That is how we see it. We see everyone as teachers, who provide us with knowledge in our lives to learn from experiences. That's why I am saying it can be empowering. We are not invalidating a traumatic event! Matter of fact, we are completely validating it. :)

People learn from traumatic events in their lives, big or small. And they are all valid emotions. And everyone can learn from those experiences.

That is what we are saying. That's all. There is no "fault" and "get over it". In our eyes, experience makes us who we are, good or bad.

Those who believe really do not mean any harm and find it very liberating.

Obviously you DON'T know what I'm saying. I understand reincarnation perfectly well. I do not have a problem with reincarnation (except that it's superstitious rubbish). What I have a problem with is that whitesphere implied that that people ask OTHER PEOPLE for trauma. Again I quote: 'They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons.'

What I am criticizing is not reincarnation, but one person's implication that people ask other people for trauma from others.

I'm just going to recap here.

I'm not talking about reincarnation. The only reason it's come up is because the hypothetical scenario involves it. My issue has NOTHING to do with reincarnation.

I understand that people learn from trauma and that it's no-one's fault.

I am stating that whitesphere implied that people ask for trauma in his own version of the myth of reincarnation (in that he believes souls make agreements with other souls to do bad things to them for the sake of 'growing' or experience).

On a somewhat unrelated not, I also would like to add a secondary statement that all of the soul-mate- and reincarnation-related beliefs in whitesphere's post are superstitious, mythical claims that have very little to do with the topic of the thread, and, even if they did, lack basis in reality and therefore bring nothing to the discussion--I add this last point because I don't believe that superstitious, quasi-religious, and/or religious claims should be protected from criticism and this particular criticism has been gnawing at me since I read the post.

With that, I think I have said all I wish to say.

[Guest]

I don't believe in soulmates... I believe in people whose coping mechanisms, communication styles, ability to give and take, and their life outlooks are highly compatible.

"We didn't meet because of fate but rather probability"- Kimya Dawson

[Himegami]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

You can either perceive it as victim-blaming, or you could believe in that concept and say "I survived and learned from this experience" or "I didn't survive, next time I can do better and improve myself as a soul".

That's if you believe the concept.

I think believing in reincarnation isn't a harmful practice. It can actually be quite positive and empowering. :)

My issue isn't the implication that a 'soul' survived a horrible experience. My issue is the implication that the soul asked for the horrible experience in the first place. I wonder if you even read what I was responding to; I'll quote: 'Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.'

See? This person implied that souls ASK for trauma from other souls. That is what I have a problem with.

Of course, I don't actually believe in souls and I know that none of this nonsense is true, but I am still deeply offended by it and think the belief is harmful in the same way that, say, a gay atheist being told he'll burn in hell would be offended and hurt and would think that belief is harmful.

Yes, I understand reincarnation very well. I know what you were saying :)

Those who do believe in reincarnation are very aware that it could be seen as victim-blaming.Our attitude isn't "You chose this, it's your fault. Get over it". Of course not. We understand that while on Earth it is a truly traumatic event, and it is not easy to get over. We understand it takes time to heal, and there is nothing but time to learn. That is how we see it. We see everyone as teachers, who provide us with knowledge in our lives to learn from experiences. That's why I am saying it can be empowering. We are not invalidating a traumatic event! Matter of fact, we are completely validating it. :)

People learn from traumatic events in their lives, big or small. And they are all valid emotions. And everyone can learn from those experiences.

That is what we are saying. That's all. There is no "fault" and "get over it". In our eyes, experience makes us who we are, good or bad.

Those who believe really do not mean any harm and find it very liberating.

Obviously you DON'T know what I'm saying. I understand reincarnation perfectly well. I do not have a problem with reincarnation (except that it's superstitious rubbish). What I have a problem with is that whitesphere implied that that people ask OTHER PEOPLE for trauma. Again I quote: 'They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons.'

What I am criticizing is not reincarnation, but one person's implication that people ask other people for trauma from others.

I'm just going to recap here.

I'm not talking about reincarnation. The only reason it's come up is because the hypothetical scenario involves it. My issue has NOTHING to do with reincarnation.

I understand that people learn from trauma and that it's no-one's fault.

I am stating that whitesphere implied that people ask for trauma in his own version of the myth of reincarnation (in that he believes souls make agreements with other souls to do bad things to them for the sake of 'growing' or experience).

On a somewhat unrelated not, I also would like to add a secondary statement that all of the soul-mate- and reincarnation-related beliefs in whitesphere's post are superstitious, mythical claims that have very little to do with the topic of the thread, and, even if they did, lack basis in reality and therefore bring nothing to the discussion--I add this last point because I don't believe that superstitious, quasi-religious, and/or religious claims should be protected from criticism and this particular criticism has been gnawing at me since I read the post.

With that, I think I have said all I wish to say.

Whitesphere answered what they believed about soul mates (answered the question asked by the poster) and elaborated on their beliefs, including the belief that souls ask other souls for traumatic experiences to learn lessons.

Okay, you have a problem with that belief. That's fine. Okay, you don't believe in reincarnation, that's fine. You even think that "that belief is harmful". Okay, that's you're opinion. We aren't forcing anyone to believe anything.

Whitesphere has not implied that "people ask other people for traumatic experiences", they implied souls. That's a tremendous difference. So, you are criticizing reincarnation and their belief. And then you go on to say after "on an unrelated not" (**note, lol) and then list all your adjectives criticizing the belief in reincarnation, which was an unnecessary thing to do.

The poster asked about soul mates, and the term soul mates can be interpreted in the belief of reincarnation, and therefore Whitesphere had a right to elaborate because it did, in fact, have to do with the topic of this thread.

Things are open to criticism, indeed. And I am criticizing your response :)

I've said my piece and think it is cleared up nicely.

[SirenDragon]

I know one soulmate couple who have been together for 18 years --- which were, to put it VERY mildly, extremely stormy until very recently. One member of that couple specifically said you do NOT want to meet your soulmate. Why? It's romanticized as this "Oh, my Soulmate will Understand Me! And Oh My Soulmate and I will have a relationship that works easily."

Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.

So, a Soulmate human relationship basically means "I will bring up ALL of your difficult issues, and you WILL do that with me. And we CANNOT be parted, or we will both feel like we're tearing ourselves apart."

And, even if a Soulmate does incarnate, they may NOT be a partner. They could be a parent, sibling, dear friend, child, or even a pet.

They're not literally a part of you, but it is a deep, strong bond, stronger than you have with anyone else --- and you will BOTH drive each other nuts if you're both human.

To say they're difficult is like saying the Pope might be a bit religious.

If I ever am ready for a relationship, and the opportunity presents itself, I hope it's NOT with one of my Soulmates. I have deep, strong bonds with my close friends and cherish them, but don't want that type of dynamic.

*Sigh* How do I put this mildly? I think that the thing you said about our souls 'signing up' for experiences is superstitious rubbish with no basis in reality--but I could live with that. What I found to be almost intolerable (and incredibly painful to read) was what you said about 'they make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons' referring to people who are raped and shot. Do not EVER imply that ANYONE asked to be raped, shot, or anything else so traumatic if you have NO BASIS for your claim, because it is almost a form of victim-blaming and there are people in this world who are raped and shot who would tell you that they DIDN'T ask for it. I have never been raped or shot, but I was abused for most of my life and I have lived with trauma almost CONSTANTLY--I sure as HELL didn't ask for it as a corporeal being OR a so-called 'soul'.

You can either perceive it as victim-blaming, or you could believe in that concept and say "I survived and learned from this experience" or "I didn't survive, next time I can do better and improve myself as a soul".

That's if you believe the concept.

I think believing in reincarnation isn't a harmful practice. It can actually be quite positive and empowering. :)

My issue isn't the implication that a 'soul' survived a horrible experience. My issue is the implication that the soul asked for the horrible experience in the first place. I wonder if you even read what I was responding to; I'll quote: 'Basically, it's very rare our Soulmates actually incarnate in a human body the same time we do. Often they stay back Home as some of our guides. Why? Well, do you know what our Souls truly want? They want to come here and learn and grow. How? They eagerly sign up for experiences that really push them to their limits. Some old souls champ at the bit to come here and experience such horrible things as be raped and shot. Why? They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons. It's precisely because they are so painful and traumatic that they are the best learning experiences, on a soul level.'

See? This person implied that souls ASK for trauma from other souls. That is what I have a problem with.

Of course, I don't actually believe in souls and I know that none of this nonsense is true, but I am still deeply offended by it and think the belief is harmful in the same way that, say, a gay atheist being told he'll burn in hell would be offended and hurt and would think that belief is harmful.

Yes, I understand reincarnation very well. I know what you were saying :)

Those who do believe in reincarnation are very aware that it could be seen as victim-blaming.Our attitude isn't "You chose this, it's your fault. Get over it". Of course not. We understand that while on Earth it is a truly traumatic event, and it is not easy to get over. We understand it takes time to heal, and there is nothing but time to learn. That is how we see it. We see everyone as teachers, who provide us with knowledge in our lives to learn from experiences. That's why I am saying it can be empowering. We are not invalidating a traumatic event! Matter of fact, we are completely validating it. :)

People learn from traumatic events in their lives, big or small. And they are all valid emotions. And everyone can learn from those experiences.

That is what we are saying. That's all. There is no "fault" and "get over it". In our eyes, experience makes us who we are, good or bad.

Those who believe really do not mean any harm and find it very liberating.

Obviously you DON'T know what I'm saying. I understand reincarnation perfectly well. I do not have a problem with reincarnation (except that it's superstitious rubbish). What I have a problem with is that whitesphere implied that that people ask OTHER PEOPLE for trauma. Again I quote: 'They make agreements with other souls to teach them some REALLY hard lessons.'

What I am criticizing is not reincarnation, but one person's implication that people ask other people for trauma from others.

I'm just going to recap here.

I'm not talking about reincarnation. The only reason it's come up is because the hypothetical scenario involves it. My issue has NOTHING to do with reincarnation.

I understand that people learn from trauma and that it's no-one's fault.

I am stating that whitesphere implied that people ask for trauma in his own version of the myth of reincarnation (in that he believes souls make agreements with other souls to do bad things to them for the sake of 'growing' or experience).

On a somewhat unrelated not, I also would like to add a secondary statement that all of the soul-mate- and reincarnation-related beliefs in whitesphere's post are superstitious, mythical claims that have very little to do with the topic of the thread, and, even if they did, lack basis in reality and therefore bring nothing to the discussion--I add this last point because I don't believe that superstitious, quasi-religious, and/or religious claims should be protected from criticism and this particular criticism has been gnawing at me since I read the post.

With that, I think I have said all I wish to say.

Whitesphere answered what they believed about soul mates (answered the question asked by the poster) and elaborated on their beliefs, including the belief that souls ask other souls for traumatic experiences to learn lessons.

Okay, you have a problem with that belief. That's fine. Okay, you don't believe in reincarnation, that's fine. You even think that "that belief is harmful". Okay, that's you're opinion. We aren't forcing anyone to believe anything.

Whitesphere has not implied that "people ask other people for traumatic experiences", they implied souls. That's a tremendous difference. So, you are criticizing reincarnation and their belief. And then you go on to say after "on an unrelated not" (**note, lol) and then list all your adjectives criticizing the belief in reincarnation, which was an unnecessary thing to do.

The poster asked about soul mates, and the term soul mates can be interpreted in the belief of reincarnation, and therefore Whitesphere had a right to elaborate because it did, in fact, have to do with the topic of this thread.

Things are open to criticism, indeed. And I am criticizing your response :)

I've said my piece and think it is cleared up nicely.

I don't know what the difference is between souls and people. From what I've heard, people generally believe that a person's personality is contained within their soul. But I don't believe in souls and I don't entirely know what they are so I'll grant you that, but I still think that it's offensive and disgusting to imply that souls ask other souls to abuse them.

As for my objections to reincarnation: You began to defend the belief in reincarnation before I stated that I believe that belief in reincarnation is harmful. I also fully admit that stating those beliefs was unnecessary, but I did because up until then I had been speaking as if reincarnation was real and I wanted to briefly mention that I did not think so briefly in a way that was semi-segregated from the rest of the post (in a 'by-the-way' sort of way).

The second time I talked about my beliefs about reincarnation I added explanation for why I was stating those beliefs and I admitted that it was a somewhat unrelated point that I basically added on a whim.

In addition, belief in reincarnation IS harmful as is any false belief e.g. If you believe that drinking battery acid is good for you, you may cause yourself harm. But I did not state that in my first post, only in my second and third (I think, but I'm too lazy to check).

As for the topic of the thread, the asker does not specifically mention soul-mates, and the title 'soul connections' could simply mean a strong connection. Still, bringing up supposed soul mates could be perceived as on-topic, but asserting as true some un-falsifiable claim about reincarnation and how souls ask for abuse is so far-removed from the topic of strong feelings and deep connections that it's irritating.

Now that I've written my responses I think that it's time to try to bring this exchange to a close.

I think I may have been a little vicious in my writing, especially in the beginning, and if I was at all I would like to apologise, but also be clear that I do not take back what I said.

Now, if you wish, you may have the last word.