~Emmie~ Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 So I had a somewhat strange experience. First let me say that I am a female, I've been identifying as heteroromantic asexual, and I have a libido. So my friend (male) was giving me a ride home from rehearsal (we're in a play together) and we were having a real great and kind of deep conversation. And during the conversation I stared to feel sexually aroused. Now of course this confused me, but what confused me more was the fact that mental I didn't feel attracted to him at all. He is a really great friend of mine and I can't think of him as anymore than that. But after that car ride, I was like "wait, was that sexual attraction?" I feel like it wasn't though because mentally I didn't feel any sort of heightened attraction toward him. I guess I'm just wondering if this sounds like a demisexual experience or just some random happening. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Alan Degas Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I'm no expert on it by any means but personally that's not how I understand sexual attraction. For me it's a constant - kinda like how love is a constant. In fact, romantic love and sexual attraction are difficult to tell apart for me, so maybe I'm just talking about the same thing...? I dunno. Anyway. I'm not always feeling it (*it* being love/sexual attraction) at a full on 120% and I'm not even always aware of it but it's still there at all times, you know? The physical feeling of arousal can be caused by my sexual attraction to my partner but it can also be caused by other random things. Or just by nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
FlowerPetal Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 That doesn't sound like sexual attraction to me. Arousal can happen at any time and doesn't necessarily have to be directed at someone/thing. Link to post Share on other sites
pyroshadow Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I think FlowerPetal is probably right, Arousal and sexual attraction are different, I occasionally get aroused for no real reason, but actual sexual attraction I've only experienced with 2, maybe 3 people in my life.But I guess everyone is different though, maybe it was your body trying to tell you to try getting closer emotionally to your friend as possibilities lie there? I'm not sure...(I identify as Demi) Link to post Share on other sites
SidesSeer Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Hmm... I'm no expert, but based on what I've read, I think one of a couple of things may be happening here. 1. The definition of demisexual specifies that the "emotional bond" doesn't necessarily have to be romantic. So it could have been a demi moment. 2. It could have just been a moment of arousal at the end of a long day. That can happen if you have a libido. Link to post Share on other sites
Perseus Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 It sounds like something you should look into. Ask yourself if you desired sex with this guy? Arousal can happen at any time. If you felt this, with a desire to have sex, after a bond was made, then you might be demisexual. I believe demisexuals and asexuals are quite alike. I like to think that demisexuals are asexual until they find the right person. Look more into your feelings for this boy and decide for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.