modestystudio Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Greetings, I've been a lurker in the forums for awhile as I figure myself out and now I find I want to share my experiences and frustrations. So I didn't really realize that I was potentially asexual until this year, for the past 20 odd years I just thought I was "afraid of sex". I kept trying to force myself to figure out and fix this problem as a disease and not realizing that it actually just be the fact that I never desired sex. But I still struggle with issues in relationships because I do want a family, I want to be pregnant and have my own children by natural means. I want a husband but sex to me was just a means to an end. (Terrible I know.) I usually back out of relationships before they get too "close" or potentially sexual. Although currently, I'm in a LDR that has been a GREAT experience because he was the first to accept the fact that I am asexual and be totally cool with it. I've told my therapist and a younger sibling and both seem to think that I'm repressing something or dealing with a fear. *FRUSTRATION* Or because I've not experienced sex or arrousing activity that something will just "switch on" for me. I get upset that I'm being told that I will just "turn on" one day and be sexually awakened or something. I don't like or enjoy even mildly sexual touching or kissing. Growing up I hardly saw my parents do things like long kisses. They were affectionate in their own way. So 30 years old now, untouched, independent woman. Pass the cake please. I want in on this cake business. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Chikane-Chan Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 :Cake: Welcome to AVEN. Glad to hear that you are comfortable with who you and and I can relate to some of the frustration with how some people react to it. But here is some more Link to post Share on other sites
brightberry Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 You get cake! Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Welcome to AVEN! "So 30 years old now, untouched, independent woman. Pass the cake please. I want in on this cake business." You are awesome. I have to say that first lol!! So awesome! You will get your cake indeed. Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself! I think a lot of us go through that...I know I have...wondering and feeling odd about not being interested in sex, keeping my distance when it gets close to those sorts of things, and also being told by other people that it's something that will somehow change automatically if you just "try it"! But anyway, you'll find a lot of people here that can relate, and it's so great that you have a boyfriend that understands you. : ) I wish you all the best! Enjoy your stay! Link to post Share on other sites
Loki Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Welcome aboard Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Hi and welcome! There are definitely some frustrating assumptions that can go with asexuality. You probably won't encounter that here though...just some understanding and support. I hope you love being a member! Oh the cake!!! :) Link to post Share on other sites
truthisbest7 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Welcome! Come in and sit a spell! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Hedgie Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Hello, given the societal assumptions that the only reason to not want sex is based on a fear of it, it's no surprise that you had to go through thinking that even if it is unfortanate. I hope that you like it here. Link to post Share on other sites
modestystudio Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 Omg...so many pretty cakes. :D And thanks for the warm welcome everyone. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Kazumi Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Welcome but I am sorry... I don't share cake :P Link to post Share on other sites
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