kitkaity Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 (TMI warning; discussion of a desire for sex) Hi, I'm brand new here and only recently started wondering if I am asexual. I've been in a couple romantic relationships but never desired sex, never felt the need to masturbate, and never got the feeling of being "turned on". I thought that I just hadn't met the right guy. A few months ago I started dating a wonderful guy and I ended up having sex with him because I loved him and figured that sex would be an expression of that love. However, I did not get turned on, felt no physical pleasure from the experience, and wondered why on earth it was such a big deal to some people. It was not a bad experience, I actually liked feeling close to him; it was just kind of boring to me. This is when I started looking into asexuality and what it means to be an asexual. I've talked this over with my SO and he is very supportive of whatever I identify as; but if I wanted to keep having sex with him in order to satisfy his needs, would that make me any less of an asexual? Also, are there any other explanations for my lack of sexual drive? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ellastokes Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I'll be the first to say it, I guess. No, having sex DOES NOT make you less of an asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bad_Mr_Tree Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I'll be the first to say it, I guess. No, having sex DOES NOT make you less of an asexual. Exactly. I can get aroused but 99.999% i'd much rather prefer to be by myself. No one helping, watching, etc. I've started to view sex as just another physical activity that we can do to keep fit but this is only successful after i've satisfied my own libidos irritations. If sex interrupts that I seemingly get grumpy and irritable as I guess it doesn't relieve it as much. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trava u doma Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Doing or not doing something does not influence your sexuality imho. Sexuality is about the innate desires of a person, not the actions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CrowWakes Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I agree while we set a date to help my partner once a month I give her a special gift on christmas and give her sex, I dont really have a drive to do so and it takes soley physical stimulation to start but we get it done. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShadeFox Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 It no more makes you less asexual than a gay person having sex with a cross-gender person makes them less gay. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sp4c34c3 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I thought of this after reading the posts: I have no desire to eat apples, but I still can eat them and feel no pleasure doing so. I won't die by eating them and maybe I will possibly even benefit because afterall, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sebastian Grace Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Many asexuals have sex for a variety of reasons, including wanting to please a partner. I am pleased that he is supportive; remember to do only what you are comfortable with and to keep communicating with each other! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kitkaity Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 I want to thank all of you that replied! This really is helping me figure out what I am. It's kind of strange to think that I'm something different than what the majority of people are. But thank you all so much! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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