Grayoid Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Hello, I'm new here.I have a request for insight into my situation for anyone who would care to offer it. I'm 28 and haven't dated since my teens. I'm not sure whether I'm completely aromantic or just severely undermotivated. Sex is not a big motivator towards relationships for me. However, I do masturbate.My concern is: If I find myself in a relationship, I don't know whether or not I can be sexual. The problem is I do have a sex drive and don't want to have to tell a woman I'd rather masturbate than have sex with her.Has anyone here had this dilemma? Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 At the end of the day, all you can do is be honest. Tell her from the start what you know, what you think might happen, and what you'd be willing to do or try. Relationships don't work if you can't communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I don't think it's a "problem" that you masturbate and have no innate desire for partnered sex (I certainly relate to that). I think you need to be upfront and honest early on and find someone who is compatible with your preferences (I certainly have). Link to post Share on other sites
Whispearl Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 If you do end up in a relationship someday, you have to be honest with your partner at some point, preferably pretty early in the relationship or as soon as the situation is relevant to your circumstances. You'd rather them know early/as soon as possible than have to lie and cover it up and cause a whole bunch of unnecessary stress and problems. And you'd be surprised at how possible it is to make it work, or find a partner that is willing to make it work- I actually ended up in my first relationship after essentially telling the guy that I was aromantic as well as asexual! Don't stress about it, and when the time comes, just be honest at the time you think is right, and hope for the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Grayoid Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Thanks for the encouragement. I intend to be honest. I just figure that a woman might think there is something severely wrong with me if I only masturbate. Whereas she might be more understanding about asexuality if I did not masturbate. Are there people here in relationships who only masturbate? Link to post Share on other sites
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