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Uncomfortable with Physical Compliments?


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I get incredibly uncomfortable with physical compliments!! I'd be mortified if someone called me sexy ewww. I've had random people (men AND women) comment on my physical appearance, especially if I'm walking on the street. I've heard "That color looks nice on you" too, ugh.

I hate it because I hate being reminded that people care about looks so much and are so shallow.

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There are compliments I like and there are some which I hate.

When someone is complimenting my overall look ("you look pretty today"), my outfit ("you look nice in this shirt"), something I take time to achieve (hair, make-up, fact that I don't wear glasses but lenses) or something small and innocent/romantic like eyes, nose (this I don't understand), palms then I feel flattered even though I don't know how to react to that.

But if someone is complimenting my body - my figure, my breasts or he/she's looking at me with this "hunger" in eyes or like I'm a statue in museum then it's awful. I also don't like being complimented for something I find looking bad. Then all I think is "sh*t up, stop looking at this/me this way". Especially I hate when my father compliments my body - it enrages me.

Now when I'm trying to explain it, I realize that it really depends of how they act, look at me and what voice they use while complimenting.

PS. I would also love if someone would compliment my muscles or something showing that what they noticed was that I'm not as "weak" and "fragile" as I look.

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I'm not even comfortable writing this, but I was so annoyed, I got everyday the "You're beautiful" (now it takes me to a song, stop it mind) and I had to tell them to stop it because I feel nervous. Girls even get close to my eyes and say "wow, what eyelashes", but people saying you look like a bratz doll made me respond with the "I have a big head :lol: , I know"

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I don't mind most physical compliments, but nothing with words like sexy or hot in them, I was called that too much as a joke when I was younger (because apparently a popular guy pretending to hit on the weird geeky girl is funny) that it feels like I'm being mocked

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EggplantWitch

I don't mind most physical compliments, but nothing with words like sexy or hot in them, I was called that too much as a joke when I was younger (because apparently a popular guy pretending to hit on the weird geeky girl is funny) that it feels like I'm being mocked

I know that feel. I'm still scared to walk past cis boys in groups larger than, well, one, because I still associate them with danger and feelings of insecurity. Sounds like they've stopped now you're older? I hope so. It's horrible to be patronised and insulted like that.

I've never been paid a physical compliment that was sex-based but sincere, but I would be pretty squicked out if I was (and judgemental of their taste in women). I will, however, swoon when called 'cute' or 'adorable'. That gets to me every time <3

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Socks, I feel the same way. You also may have a gender identity disorder.

It's such a relief to know people think the same way.

Question that will probably seem ignorant, but it's because I am and people learn by asking questions:

What is a gender identity disorder? How would I know if I had one? What from this post sounds like it?

I just wanted to chime in- A gender identity disorder is when a person's physical sex is not consistent with the person's sense of identity. Usually, it's when someone feels like they are trapped in the body of the wrong sex. A diagnosis is typically only given (and in the case for most disorders) when the problem is causing significant distress for the person emotionally or impacting their daily functioning. Learned in psychology this quarter. :)

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It depends on how "extreme" the complement is. If it's something simple like "You look nice today" it doesn't bother me. If it crosses the line to where someone is complementing my looks and meaning it as in I'm sexy or hot I start to get a little uncomfortable.

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I don't mind most physical compliments, but nothing with words like sexy or hot in them, I was called that too much as a joke when I was younger (because apparently a popular guy pretending to hit on the weird geeky girl is funny) that it feels like I'm being mocked

I know that feel. I'm still scared to walk past cis boys in groups larger than, well, one, because I still associate them with danger and feelings of insecurity. Sounds like they've stopped now you're older? I hope so. It's horrible to be patronised and insulted like that.

I've never been paid a physical compliment that was sex-based but sincere, but I would be pretty squicked out if I was (and judgemental of their taste in women). I will, however, swoon when called 'cute' or 'adorable'. That gets to me every time <3

Yeah, they have stopped, they got bored eventually because I would just ignore them, although sometimes they found even that funny. Also I'm now friends with someone who's weirder than, so she gets any of that stuff rather than me, but it doesn't make her uncomfortable and she just flirts back to an extent that scares them off

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  • 1 month later...
LookingGlassAlice

I was wondering about this so I hope it's ok it I 'resurrect this topic.

I was wondering what people think about receiving compliments about your style? For example, your haircut, your outfit, or that sort of thing?

I don't want to offend people by complimenting them but if I like someone's style, outfit, hairstyle etc I do tend to let them know. So it would be nice to know if this is a problem or bothers some people so I can avoid it?

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Yeah I'm super awkward with compliments and I don't usually know how to respond to them...I'm just like "haha thanks" awkwardly walks away lol

^This is exactly what I do.

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