How Do You Feel About Labels?

[Purl]

Honestly, I like labels. It makes me feel part of a community, that I'm not alone. When I discovered demisexuality, I was just so relieved to put a word to something I've felt since everyone else began to discover sex and crushes, and I just didn't get it. It made me feel like I could quit trying to change :) I'm probably not going to share it with very many people out of the community, and I'm never sharing the full one, but it's enough to know that I know and I'm not alone. That's why I think they are useful.

[KendraPM]

I'm torn about labels. Part of me thinks that since no two people are exactly alike and why make everything more complicated, than we should just keep it simple.

I am:

Age-25

Gender-Female

Orientation-Straight

And part of me feels that simple isn't enough to convey what I want to convey. Like it doesn't capture "me" when I put it all into such simple terms.

I am:

Age-physically 25, emotionally 23, mentally 30

Gender-female, but I have the logical thought process of a male (tested in a psych class)

Orientation-primarily heterosexual with the occasional rare pan tendencies, homoasthetic, WTF-mostly-heteromantic, pansensual.

I see how that is all too complicated, but whereas both accurately describe me, each have their uses and I'm not sure I could give up the overly complicated label any more than I could the simple ones.

Labels are both a henderence, since they put people into boxes, and a useful tool, as they help people understand themselves and know they aren't alone.

Labels also change, and I think people need to keep in mind that what they are today is not always what they'll be. I was once a child, I am a daughter. These are both labels, and the first may not be true now, but it was at one point. We all grow and change, our labels should too.

[xSkylar]

I find labels to be a complicated thing. It kind of confines you in a way. Like if you said you were lesbian now, sometime down the road you could change and decide you are attracted to men too. Or you could be asexual now, but then somewhere that attitude towards sex changes. We currently don't have a label for a dynamic sexual orientation though, so I'd just do the Facebook thing and say "It's Complicated" :D

[Forest fairy]

I have mixed feelings about labels - I don't feel that I (or most people, for that matter) can fit in any specific category perfectly, nor I think we should label every personal characteristic. But... before I got to know that demisexuality existed, it didn't occure to me that this is what I might be. So in this case the existence of the label halped me to find out something about myself. That goes for biromantic too - I had a hard time figuring that one out before I stumbled upon the term. Labels also can make communication with other people a lot easier, if they are familiar with said label.

[Augustus]

We need labels, but not for every little thing. Seems like it's cool for some people on AVEN to have about a dozen essential identity labels, even if it's just to describe their taste in Venezuelan cuisine. It kind of sabotages the usefulness of labels if all they show is that some people take themselves and their personal details too seriously.

Plus, these labels are not even used qualitatively. The folks that seem most determined to use them also are the most determined to keep their meanings as ambiguous and misleading as possible. A thousand labels that all mean nothing...

...and this is social progress, apparently.

[Tanwen]

From a purely personal pov, I don't use labels. I had too many forced on me during my life, I fight against them now. I may mention my orientation if the situation seems right; when asked what it means I revert to the line from Shakespeare "Man delights not me; no, nor Woman neither" :D

[pipsuxx]

i am not a fan of labels for myself beyond 'asexual' (i'm probably grey/demi and panro) but i think it's important to respect those that anyone chooses to use. however i think people often forget that it's just as important to respect the labels people don't use. i am uncomfortable when the people who i am not out as asexual to assume i am bisexual. i'm also kind of uncomfortable when people try and get me to more narrowly define my asexuality.

[starguitar]

Labels are clearly important in helping some people define themselves. But I wonder if the increasing number of and diversity in labels (with regards to gender as well as sexuality) suggest that gender and sexuality categories are becoming more and more obsolete as definitions are changed and boundaries are smashed. Maybe we are gradually moving to a point where no labels will be necessary - perhaps true liberation can only come about through abolishing gender and sexuality categories altogether.

[MoraDollie]

Labels are designed literally just so people can feel like they belong to another group of people. Humans are social beings by nature. This means that we naturally feel more comfortable in a group. That's why people often give into "peer pressure", because instincts tells us to NOT go against the crowd (it comes down to basic survival strategy, if one person sticks out like a sore thumb, they're likely going to be eaten by the predator, metaphorically speaking and all).