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Has anyone else ever felt genuinely surprised that people their age were old enough to be sexually attracted to each other?


ACEchupacabra

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ACEchupacabra

I'm a senior in high school, and I still feel a little amazed that people my age are interested in sex at all. When people started having their first time in eighth and ninth grade, the first thing I always thought was "We're only fourteen, how does this even make sense?" I only recently realized that I don't get it because I'm asexual. Has anyone else ever felt like that?

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I faked thinking Johnny Depp was hot in grade 7 to fit in. I faked it so hard I believed it, almost. It took me a while to realise I was forcing it onto myself. When my friends started losing their virginity I was weirded out, and that was grade 10/11. Someone doing it in grade 8 would have blown my mind. We're just kids!!!

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It's always shocked me, and it was not just sex, but dating too. People would get so upset and bawl like mad when their relationship with someone their age (14) wouldn't work out, and I'd be like an old fart and say "well, you're still young. not like the world has ended." Safe to say that my comments were not appreciated so I learned to keep them to myself. But even now, it blows my mind how many people my age (20) and younger are having sex and relationship after relationship. I still feel like an old lady when I look at them, because the way I see it, we still got plenty of time for that. Why rush it? But then I remember I'm asexual and that's there's no way I can understand lol. And possibly aromantic.. Not sure on that one yet. Not to mention that my room mates (all 18 year olds) are pretty sexual as well. Always talking about this hot guy or that. And when the one girl finally brought the guy that she'd been talking about to the apartment, I couldn't understand why she found him "hot." He looked like a scrawny 15 year old to me, pretty average looking as far as looks go. Nothing to single him out from the general population. Sooo.. what is "hot?" o_O

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drjohnhwatson

I work with someone whose cousin? I think it was cousin. Someone she was close to, anyway. ANYHOW, my co-worker's cousin had a baby by eleven. Like she had sex and was pregnant when she was ten. AND she did it in order to keep her boyfriend; she poked holes in the condom whenever they had sex until she ended up conceiving as she figured it would get him tethered to her. Then she got mad when her mom said she'd have to take care of the child on her own. It blew my mind to find this out. Same co-worker had a best friend who was 11? I believe she conceived at 11 and gave birth at twelve to twins. She kept one and gave one to a relative to take care of; I find it cruel separating twins but I can't imagine having sex at that age.

So yeah. I never understood when people my age were having sex when I was in middle or high school. I don't even get it now, to be honest, haha.

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I don't know much about the sexual activity going on while I was in 7th and 8th grade, as far as I know my friends weren't having it at that time. But then suddenly high school hit and it seemed like left and right my friends were having sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends. But no, I was never surprised. It was more of an "Oh this is happening now."

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FallOutAtTheMotionCityDisc

I still am surprised when people tell me that they started being sexually attracted to each other when they were twelve. When I was twelve I was role-playing warrior cats with stuffed animals with my friend over the phone for hours, sex was the furthest thing from my mind! Even when some of my friends lost their virginity at 16 I was like "Aren't you supposed to be like 20 before you want to have sex? Wth..."

Lol paperwishes, I definitely have used the word "hot" and meant it, but until very very recently I just thought it meant "really attractive to look at" like "beautiful"...

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Annie Mali A.

Maybe this is rude, but I kind of felt like a little girl running away from evil vultures who were screaming "SEX!!", and watching my friends get picked off one by one, while only I remained standing.

I still am surprised when people tell me that they started being sexually attracted to each other when they were twelve. When I was twelve I was role-playing warrior cats with stuffed animals with my friend over the phone for hours, sex was the furthest thing from my mind! Even when some of my friends lost their virginity at 16 I was like "Aren't you supposed to be like 20 before you want to have sex? Wth..."

Warrior cats roleplay is way better than sex roleplay, why isn't this a thing?!

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Wandering Ace

I tend to think of everyone being asexual, so it's always a bit of a shock even to hear, "Oh, [person] is so hot." Never mind the more sexually explicit comments I often hear.

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I never thought about my friends/classmates having sex at that age. Though some undoubtedly were (I'm pretty sure some waited until they were older, in fact I know one who did wait until 18 or so).

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When I was around the 7th-9th grade I certainly wondered why people were wanting to have sex with each other. I still felt like, and many ways still was, a child. It certainly surprised me when 14 year olds were having sex. Even worse were the pregnant freshmen :o

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FallOutAtTheMotionCityDisc

Maybe this is rude, but I kind of felt like a little girl running away from evil vultures who were screaming "SEX!!", and watching my friends get picked off one by one, while only I remained standing.

I still am surprised when people tell me that they started being sexually attracted to each other when they were twelve. When I was twelve I was role-playing warrior cats with stuffed animals with my friend over the phone for hours, sex was the furthest thing from my mind! Even when some of my friends lost their virginity at 16 I was like "Aren't you supposed to be like 20 before you want to have sex? Wth..."

Warrior cats roleplay is way better than sex roleplay, why isn't this a thing?!

It was a thing until I was about 14, because my friend went to "normal kid high school" instead of her catholic middle school :P And of course, mine magically had babies, no sex, pregnancy, or birthing, just BAM! She has a baby now!!

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Yep, I'm in high school and I think that whenever I hear it mentioned. I still think of myself and others as kids, really. Even romantic relationship stuff I'm often confused about. We're just all so young, in my mind.

Wandering Ace, I think I do the same thing. I'm honestly surprised when I learn someone does think about all those things. :P

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I feel a lot younger than my peers whenever I actually think about it. I look at someone and think "Woah. You probably have sex with your girlfriend." The fact that it is generally accepted to have sex during college is not strange to me, it's more like I always expected to have sexual desire by the time I got to college. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance.

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I'm a sophomore in high school, and as I go to a school of 150 people, I know everyone in my class, and I'm pretty sure they're all still virgins. But they still talk about sex blah blah blah, which makes me uncomfortable. There are some juniors and seniors that I know lost their virginity in sophomore year, so around 15-16, which alarms me more than with other people. It feels like such a foreign concept that that some people have sex before they're even halfway through their teenage years...

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I wasn't aware that my peers were having sex until I was 18 and in college. BOY was that a shock! And later I learned that many young people were having sex, and I just hadn't been aware. The most shocking/saddening thing to me, though, was the number of guys who told me they started looking at pornography at age 8. That's a little third-grade kid! WHAT.

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I can relate to this thing as well. Long before I learnt about asexuality I had episodes in my life involving some sort of confusion. When I was around 16, I was reading a book and there was a scene describing how a girl who had exactly the same age as mine was madly in love with a young man, longing for him in all ways, and she offered him her body. And I couldn't believe it, I was like "how could she possibly feel lust so young? I'm 16 myself!". Now I'm 18 and I am still a bit surprised when I see girls my age describing the desires running through their bodies. First reaction "whoa, but just like me, they're only 18-19", and then I remember "yeah, it's all down to my sexuality ;p". I'm grey-demisexual myself, but that falls on the asexual spectrum, so...it's like I'm asexual mostly of the time, if you know what I mean. And even if I developed attraction for a guy I became really close with, I still can't imagine myself experiencing it to so intense a degree, therefore I wouldn't quite call it "lust". So yeah...I'm such a rarity xD.

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I used to think it was utterly horrifying and base for anyone to have sex below the legal age, until I found out it was quite common. In fact, i did a paper in psychology about age of first time sex and its impact on romantic relationships in later life and was shocked to find that in most other research papers, the 'late' category was ages 19 and over.

19 is counted late?!? WHAT! O_O

^ that is still my reaction till today.

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PurpleKoolaid

I never got that about sex exactly just marriage and moving in together (like you're getting married? i haven't ever even 'met the parents' in a relationship..ok, i've never been in a 'relationship' lol)

although i do from time to time forget that sexuals exist and get shocked to realize that people have bits (lol) and do the nasty and have urges and all that weird stuff. i still think that they're all lying about being sexual--just like the british are about their accents haha it's all a conspiracy! :P

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abbersthenerd

I remember being in high school, and I'd see couples kissing in the hallways, and I'd always have to turn away because I found it disgusting. I couldn't understand what people found appealing about kissing. Everyone around me was becoming sexually active, and there I was, completely disgusted by the idea of kissing. I didn't understand why people wanted to do things like that; didn't they have any idea how many bacteria are in a human mouth? I never thought of kissing or sex as something logical, and I'm an extremely logical person, so I never understood its appeal. I was shocked when I read the statistic that the average woman in the US or UK loses her virginity between the ages of fourteen and eighteen. I'm not sure what the statistic is for men, but I'd imagine it's around the same range. I'm 18 and still get grossed out when I see people kiss in a movie.

When I was younger, I thought that the only reason people would want to have sex was to reproduce; after all, that is its biological purpose. Imagine my shock when I found out that people actually wanted to do it for (what I thought was) no good reason. And kissing makes absolutely no logical sense. When I was in the 10th grade, one of my friends said that kissing was gross. I asked her why she did it if it was gross. She answered that it was because it feels good. I mean, I can understand playing in mud or something because it feels good, even though it's gross, but kissing? The idea was completely nonsensical to me.

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oh dear, I remember when we were 13 (and an all girls class) most of them were fancying boys from the opposite class. I wasn't really bothered because I didn't belong to that group of people and thought sooner or later the feeling would come anyway (when I'd meet a pretty & nice boy). But still, years later I'm still wondering if 13 is really the age that you start being attracted to people.

Seeing by the above comments it seems that way. With 16 I just figured out that I am romantically attracted to men & women, I didn't even consider sex around that time. Now I know why but still ...

It appears that with 13/14 you need your first boy/girlfriend, with 16 you need to get laid, and then you should try not to be single. But I never got the hang of any of it.

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cheeringselenator

I have felt the exact same way. I am a sophomore in college, and I remember my sophomore year in high school, sitting at the lunch table and all of the people around me talking about sex. I just didn't understand it. They were talking about all this stuff and it was half grossing me out half freaking me out. I was like "we are only 15!" I thought maybe I would grow into it, wanting to feel that way and everything, but I still haven't and I'm okay with that. Same with dating. When my friends started going on dates I was always like "nah I'm good." Its just not for me. I don't really get it.

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I was scandalized at the thought of people kissing in middle school, and I'm still completely weirded out by the concept of the majority of the people in my college having sex.

Heck, when my roomate stays over at her boyfriend's room for the night some weekends I STILL can't believe sex has anything to do with it.

Feeling like people our age are too young to have sex probably only partly has to do with asexuality (since I know allosexuals who think 18 is young, too). Maybe it's a cultural thing?

People come into their sexuality at eleven or something, so I guess it theoretically makes sense for allosexuals to want to have sex?

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Yes, but I was actually more amazed how people suddenly had crushes or that they were seriously considering asking someones number without even knowing the person.

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I work with someone whose cousin? I think it was cousin. Someone she was close to, anyway. ANYHOW, my co-worker's cousin had a baby by eleven. Like she had sex and was pregnant when she was ten. AND she did it in order to keep her boyfriend; she poked holes in the condom whenever they had sex until she ended up conceiving as she figured it would get him tethered to her. Then she got mad when her mom said she'd have to take care of the child on her own. It blew my mind to find this out. Same co-worker had a best friend who was 11? I believe she conceived at 11 and gave birth at twelve to twins. She kept one and gave one to a relative to take care of; I find it cruel separating twins but I can't imagine having sex at that age.

So yeah. I never understood when people my age were having sex when I was in middle or high school. I don't even get it now, to be honest, haha.

WHAT.

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Discovering asexuality in my junior year of high school is what made me realize that I was the one who was different, and that shocked me. I didn't realize that sexual stuff on the minds of 16- and 17-year-olds was something that was so ridiculously common. Even now, as a freshman in college, it shocks me. And people talk about it a lot more openly now, which really drives the point home that I'm completely unlike basically everyone around me. I'm constantly baffled by how abundant sexual attraction and desire really are.

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Well, I suppose now that I am in my thirties, I have to accept the reality that other people my age are sexual!

However, going back to my school days, yes I can relate to this. I was totally naïve to all things concerning sex. My peers started talking about sex practically non-stop, but I did not realise that they were being serious; I thought we were all still way too young and that they were just being immature or messing about.

There was in incident when I went on a school trip abroad when I was about 15 or 16. Staying in our hostel, the lads in the dorm I was in started all this immature talking about sex, and they were talking about how one of the lads had an “appointment” with one of the girls later that evening so that they could get it on together. I did not take any of it at all seriously; I thought they were just joking.

When a teacher entered our dorm later that evening, he noticed that one of the lads was absent and asked us all if we knew where he was.

I just said quite causally and matter of factly, “Oh he’s gone to one of the girls rooms to have sex with so and so.” I meant it as a joke and thought that the teacher and everyone would laugh and not take it literally, but all the other lads in the dorm starred at me their mouths wide open, and the teacher said “Right. OK. Thank you for that information”, and left.

It turns out the lad in question really had gone off to have sex with one of the girls, and thanks to me, the teacher walked in on them and caught them in the act! There was absolute hell to pay and you can imagine how popular I was as a result of it.

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TheLandsBeyond

I have this memory from seventh grade of watching The Outsiders with my English class. There's one scene when they're all shirtless and all of my friends plus the teacher were drooling about how hot they were. I couldn't understand why they were supposed to be attractive, and I made a point of telling them that. Little did I know that I just didn't find anyone attractive.

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I work with someone whose cousin? I think it was cousin. Someone she was close to, anyway. ANYHOW, my co-worker's cousin had a baby by eleven. Like she had sex and was pregnant when she was ten. AND she did it in order to keep her boyfriend; she poked holes in the condom whenever they had sex until she ended up conceiving as she figured it would get him tethered to her. Then she got mad when her mom said she'd have to take care of the child on her own. It blew my mind to find this out. Same co-worker had a best friend who was 11? I believe she conceived at 11 and gave birth at twelve to twins. She kept one and gave one to a relative to take care of; I find it cruel separating twins but I can't imagine having sex at that age.

So yeah. I never understood when people my age were having sex when I was in middle or high school. I don't even get it now, to be honest, haha.

WHAT.

A girl in my year at school left because she was pregnant at 11. I saw her recently (we're now 27) and she's just had her eighth child. Five different fathers.

People are fucking weird.

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Yes!

Dating was the first thing that shocked me, back in 4th grade when most of my friends started dating boys. I really didn't like the at my school and couldn't figure out for the life of me why anyone would want to date them.

When I was in middle school and my friends started talking about sex, I didn't get why anyone would ever want to talk about it. Then in high school when people started doing it, I was kind of shocked at first. In my head I was like "why would anyone my age want to do this"?? It may take some time, but eventually you'll get used to it.

Wow, but 8th grade? That's kind of early for people to have sex...

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I work with someone whose cousin? I think it was cousin. Someone she was close to, anyway. ANYHOW, my co-worker's cousin had a baby by eleven. Like she had sex and was pregnant when she was ten. AND she did it in order to keep her boyfriend; she poked holes in the condom whenever they had sex until she ended up conceiving as she figured it would get him tethered to her. Then she got mad when her mom said she'd have to take care of the child on her own. It blew my mind to find this out. Same co-worker had a best friend who was 11? I believe she conceived at 11 and gave birth at twelve to twins. She kept one and gave one to a relative to take care of; I find it cruel separating twins but I can't imagine having sex at that age.

So yeah. I never understood when people my age were having sex when I was in middle or high school. I don't even get it now, to be honest, haha.

WHAT.

A girl in my year at school left because she was pregnant at 11. I saw her recently (we're now 27) and she's just had her eighth child. Five different fathers.

People are fucking weird.

Where is the vomit emoji

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