Slightly Confused...still.

[Chikane-Chan]

So I have been around here for a few weeks, and those that I have talked to know the situation I am in but just to recap. Two weeks ago after friction between me and my wife I finally came out as ace, and from then it has been a rather interesting time for me, coming to terms with myself and who I am but at the same time I have become more and more aware of the possible cost of this.

I feel like im torn between two worlds right now, one part of me feels good to be me and no longer hide behind lies or think that im broken but the other part of me is regretting it. I guess the reason why im torn is because of the friction its caused between me and my SO,I love her and i know that the emotions arnt just one sided, but the past week we have been swaying from planning to get a divorce to saying we are "Critical but Stable." We are pushing one last time to see if we can patch up the gap me coming out has created and i truly hope we can but at the same time my mind has started to wonder if it can work out, and if it doesn't what will happen or even to the extreme of wondering what it would be like to date another ace?

I am sorry if this post seems a little confused and negative just needed to write this and get it out so I can focus a little more.

[intellitubby]

The great thing about this site is that a lot of the questions you have may have been asked in some way in the past. I looked around and found this

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/101948-i-think-im-asexual-but-what-does-that-mean-for-my-spouse-and-kids/

Hope it helps in some way.

I used to be Married too, though the breakup wasn't to do with the asexuality, as i did TRY and be "normal" :P , i just mostly failed and it led to situations and arguments i'd rather forget.

I know what you mean about posting just to get it out and down, to contemplate and not shy away now that it's "out there". I wish you luck no matter what happens. I haven't really read the link i posted, however from the very quick scan i think it seems at least partially related.

Good luck again dude :)

[Copper]

It helps to get your thoughts in order like this. I won't try and pretend to be a relationship expert here, but I think you should focus on whatever would make the two of you happiest in the long run, whether it's to patch things up or look for other people. Good luck with everything.

[JustanotherTobigirl]

I'd like to point out that you do need to do what is best for you in the long run, but as a little encouragement as a male you should have an easier time finding another asexual to date than a heteroromantic female would, given there are more females than males.