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Sex = Love?


saiayoko

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BerenErchamion

I think it truly depends on the person. I have heard several counselors specifically say that sex is the core of a romantic relationship. A great "relationship" without sex is "just" a friendship, to them.

That's ridiculous. Having sex with someone is no greater of an indication of romantic attraction than hugging is an indication a sexual attraction.

For some people, it is. Your own experience is not necessarily universal; please don't make the mistake of assuming it is.

I don't care if some people think sex and romance are always connected. That is an opinion, not a fact, and it does not make it so for all of us. It is possible to have sex without love and love without sex.

I'm glad you agree with me.

Because if you think that what you said in any way contradicts what I said, all you've done is demonstrate a total comprehension failure.

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Our society is fostering a viewpoint that sexual desire is at the base of every romantic relationship. So most people do think that love requires sex (though not true the other way around). Most of the time its people who have experience with love without sexual desire or who don't often feel sexual desire who don't equate the two things like the majority of society.

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Sex = love, now that is ridiculous. But well...we asexuals will never understand this I am afraid.

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Myself I don't see sex and love the same , which I hate when sexuals say you will want to have sex when you meet the right guy , no , sex is something that I would want to do with a male prostitute who lives in Australia with no personality and who I would never see again ( I wouldn't want sex but If I did that's what it would be ) , and the "right guy" would be the last person I would want to expose my body to , so sex is not love for me .

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BerenErchamion

Sex = love, now that is ridiculous. But well...we asexuals will never understand this I am afraid.

No more ridiculous than saying they've got nothing to do with one another.

Both of those, and every other relationship imaginable, are perfectly legitimate. Just because it's not yours doesn't make it "ridiculous." Let's not demean others' experiences, please.

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chaoticprecision

I think maybe to some extent the mindset that sex=love comes from the vulnerability of having sex with the other person. Allowing yourself to be with someone in that type of raw situation opens one up and shows another side of yourself/your partner. For people who have trouble opening up emotionally it can be used as a bridge to more emotional security and intimate feelings. If someone has only known sexual relationships and maybe isn't as intune or doesn't really have to vocabulary to put their emotions into words, I could see how they could see sex as love. Not that there's anything wrong with this, I just think its a potential explanation for that line of thinking.

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Sex = love, now that is ridiculous. But well...we asexuals will never understand this I am afraid.

No more ridiculous than saying they've got nothing to do with one another.

Both of those, and every other relationship imaginable, are perfectly legitimate. Just because it's not yours doesn't make it "ridiculous." Let's not demean others' experiences, please.

Now don't worry, I did not intent to judge others. I just think it is ridiculous that some people are implying that you can not have love without sex because "sex=love". I might not have said it correctly at first.

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Sex is not a need in a relationship, sometimes a lack of sexual interactions can create tension with some people. My partner is a sexual person while I am not though she did not need sexual interactions, it does make her feel good to have them, it helps her relieve stress etc. so we set a date once a month that I... help her with her needs in a way that I can handle, just out of courtesy for her. So for some people it does matter some it doesn't it just goes back to how the person works

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So I'm watching a movie on the TV guide network while doing my homework... (I know, I should do one or the other...) and some movie is on, and the guy IS an asexual. I know, simply because of all the glaringly obvious clues. It's called "The Mirror Has Two Faces"

Anyway, the actual topic:

The girl just left the asexual guy because she doesn't think he loves her because he didn't want to have sex. Is this how the sexual population truly view the romantic side of relationships? That if someone doesn't want to have intercourse, then they must not love the other person?

I think this is absolutely preposterous, and yet, it seems completely logical when attempting to think about it from the other perspective... but it still seems outlandish and rude.

So... I'm just curious to know what anyone else thinks about this sort of thing,

No, the majority wouldn't want to just dump someone because they don't want sex.

That IS rude, and shows the baseness of that person. Some people are just jerks.

Ugh, the last boyfriend I had before I figured out I was asexual dumped me for exactly this reason. He told me a relationship without sex is just a friendship and that I was weird blah blah blah...

This is completely OT, and if there is a topic on this that you know about, please direct me towards it. But have any of you had an a-hole ex (before you knew you were asexual) that made you feel like poop and now that you've realized you are asexual and not "broken," would like to confront them about it? I don't have the guts to approach him but I've thought of giving him a piece of my mind if we bump into each other...

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  • 7 months later...

I totally agree with this tweet: Being in love with you doesn't mean I want to have sex with you. You can be in love and not have sex. It's not that complicated. #Asexual

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