Can Asexuals have a relationship with other Asexuals in RL?

[StormchasingGal98]

Just something that has been on my mind for awhile. I've heard from many people that dating other Asexuals online is a great way to have a relationship with other Asexuals, but I want to know if it is possible for Asexuals to have a realtionship with someone in RL? (I'm not so keen on online relationships, as I hated my first (And last) online relationship.) There is no rush, I got plenty of time. I'm not going to date again until after university. ^_^ I just thought I would ask anyway.

(Please let me know if there was another topic just like this. I'm sorry if there was already one. )

[Cimmerian]

Of course aces can have relationships with another ace in RL. :) Most of us just find the most interesting people further away I think, which is probably why online relationships are referenced so often. I know some people have used the meet-ups to meet other aces and see if there is anyone local that they want to date, and other times you just run into other asexuals. It's just harder to find another of us! XP

[Ricki]

Yes, but like Finn said, we find the interesting people online.

I'd add to this and say that most of us meet the people we like online (through forums such as this).

[StormchasingGal98]

Of course aces can have relationships with another ace in RL. :) Most of us just find the most interesting people further away I think, which is probably why online relationships are referenced so often. I know some people have used the meet-ups to meet other aces and see if there is anyone local that they want to date, and other times you just run into other asexuals. It's just harder to find another of us! XP

Ok great! I thought it was just a myth. Glad it isn't. :D That is true, I tried it out once, but I didn't like the outcome of it. Maybe it was because my Ex boyfriend wasn't the one for me, and he was the Sexual type. He was actually mad at me when I came out and told him that I was Asexual. He thought that it was just a phase I was going though, so that ended up to our breakup. (Or at least that was one of the many reasons I broke up with him.) I might try online relationships again after university with an Asexual this time. I prefer RL dating though, that way I know that they are not faking their age, etc. I think I can try the meet-ups. I'm sure they have some of those near my city. :) Unfournatly, that is true. :( Not many people know about us, and if they do, they think we just need to be ''fixed.''

Thanks for the answers guys. :) Like I said, it is no rush, I'm more focused on my education anyway. lol

[blondie12]

Yes it's very possible. Although I met my Ace companion online almost 3 years ago, we did meet in person. We had a great time doing different activities and never had to worry about the topic of sex coming up! My companion and I live in different states, but that hasn't stopped us from talking and texting all the time. I am planning on going out to visit him sometime next year with a lot of fun to be had!!! I can't wait! So, you should look forward to the endless possibilities you have meeting a fellow Ace in real life.

[StormchasingGal98]

Yes it's very possible. Although I met my Ace companion online almost 3 years ago, we did meet in person. We had a great time doing different activities and never had to worry about the topic of sex coming up! My companion and I live in different states, but that hasn't stopped us from talking and texting all the time. I am planning on going out to visit him sometime next year with a lot of fun to be had!!! I can't wait! So, you should look forward to the endless possibilities you have meeting a fellow Ace in real life.

Glad to see that RL relationships with Asexuals exist. :p Congrats! I hope everything continues to work out for you guys. I had an online realtionship a few months ago, and it didn't work out that well. Maybe because he was the sexual type of person and I was Asexual? I'm glad that realtionship is over, as her was very rude and violent online to me, espesially after he found out that I was an asexual. I'm thinking of giving online relationships another shot, but next time it will be with an Asexual, and I'll be sure to meet up with him in real life at some point. ^_^ I prefer RL relationships anyway though, It just feels better. I could try meet-ups that are around my city or not too far away from me. Thank you so much for the support! I don't get much support from my family and friends, since they think my asexuality is just a ''phase.'' DX I wish you the best of luck with your relationship too.

[Guest]

Even though my relationship with my asexual partner is currently long distance, I consider it a real life relationship ^_^ It's just not an 'in person' relationship yet sadly, because we can't afford the travel (he lives in England, I live in New Zealand, pretty much polar opposites of the globe haha) .. If we had the finances, we would certainly be living together by now! (we met on AVEN over a year ago, and have been in a romantic relationship for 11 months) . The distance does not stop us talking every single day though, and honestly, I feel closer to my asexual partner now than I ever felt with my hypersexual ex, and my ex and I lived together and were in a relationship for 5 years haha... So I truly don't think distance is any barrier to closeness, the only thing we miss out on is being in each others physical vicinity. We believe the distance is a small price to pay for having met our 'perfect someone' and will definitely live together in the future when finances allow :)

So in answer to your question, YES! Asexuals can have relationships with other asexuals in real life, it's just that many of us meet our partners online to begin with :)

[StormchasingGal98]

Even though my relationship with my asexual partner is currently long distance, I consider it a real life relationship ^_^ It's just not an 'in person' relationship yet sadly, because we can't afford the travel (he lives in England, I live in New Zealand, pretty much polar opposites of the globe haha) .. If we had the finances, we would certainly be living together by now! (we met on AVEN over a year ago, and have been in a romantic relationship for 11 months) . The distance does not stop us talking every single day though, and honestly, I feel closer to my asexual partner now than I ever felt with my hypersexual ex, and my ex and I lived together and were in a relationship for 5 years haha... So I truly don't think distance is any barrier to closeness, the only thing we miss out on is being in each others physical vicinity. We believe the distance is a small price to pay for having met our 'perfect someone' and will definitely live together in the future when finances allow :)

So in answer to your question, YES! Asexuals can have relationships with other asexuals in real life, it's just that many of us meet our partners online to begin with :)

Aw! Hope you guys can eventually live with each other. I wish the best of luck to you guys. :)

Thanks for the reply! I thought that was just a myth. lol I might try online dating again at some point, but with an Asexual this time, unlike my Ex-Boyfriend who was the sexual type of person. I prefer RL relationships though, but will defiantly try both!

[deltaX]

I think the reason online asexual relationship are talked about so much is because it is much easier to find other asexuals online than it is in real life. However, real life asexual relationships are totally possible! I wish you the best in eventually finding one! :)

[StormchasingGal98]

I think the reason online asexual relationship are talked about so much is because it is much easier to find other asexuals online than it is in real life. However, real life asexual relationships are totally possible! I wish you the best in eventually finding one! :)

That is true! :) Thanks for explaining it to me. I thought that meeting Asexual people in real life was a myth. :o Thank you so much! I hope so too. I plan to keep both online and RL relationships with Asexuals in consideration.

Well I'm married to someone I met on AVEN in 2008, so... yes?

(I also suck terribly at relationships, but hey, that's beside the point.)

I'm glad to hear that. :)

Thanks. I will try both RL and online relationships with Asexuals.

[deltaX]

I think the reason online asexual relationship are talked about so much is because it is much easier to find other asexuals online than it is in real life. However, real life asexual relationships are totally possible! I wish you the best in eventually finding one! :)

That is true! :) Thanks for explaining it to me. I thought that meeting Asexual people in real life was a myth. :o Thank you so much! I hope so too. I plan to keep both online and RL relationships with Asexuals in consideration.

Meeting other aces in real life can be tough, but we make up approximately 1% of the population so it isn't impossible! I recently found out one of my good friends identifies as demisexual, so I managed to find a friend on the asexual spectrum without even necessarily trying to. :)

[StormchasingGal98]

I think the reason online asexual relationship are talked about so much is because it is much easier to find other asexuals online than it is in real life. However, real life asexual relationships are totally possible! I wish you the best in eventually finding one! :)

That is true! :) Thanks for explaining it to me. I thought that meeting Asexual people in real life was a myth. :o Thank you so much! I hope so too. I plan to keep both online and RL relationships with Asexuals in consideration.

Meeting other aces in real life can be tough, but we make up approximately 1% of the population so it isn't impossible! I recently found out one of my good friends identifies as demisexual, so I managed to find a friend on the asexual spectrum without even necessarily trying to. :)

I definitely have hope now. :) Nothing is impossible.

[R.Million]

That sounds way cool. I would totally date another asexual irl

[StormchasingGal98]

That sounds way cool. I would totally date another asexual irl

I wish you a lot of luck. :)

[R.Million]

Thanks!

[Certified Cake Decorator]

Apparently David Jay, the founder of this website, has an ace partner. Apparently.

I read it on a recent news article that claims to have interviewed him. Idk if its true, but if so, i am super jelly.

I want a cuddle buddy irl just as much as the next person!

[StormchasingGal98]

Thanks!

No problem. :)

Apparently David Jay, the founder of this website, has an ace partner. Apparently.

I read it on a recent news article that claims to have interviewed him. Idk if its true, but if so, i am super jelly.

I want a cuddle buddy irl just as much as the next person!

That is awesome! I want to be able to have a good relationship in RL just like anyone else. Thinking about going to an Asexual meet.

[R.Million]

I'm going to one in Chicago next month, its so exciting!

[intellitubby]

I very very much hope so. My goal in life is to find someone to share it with, but coming to the realisation i can't be in a sexual relationship makes it so much harder (i already have a plethora of things going against me, i'm my own worst enemy :P ) So i hope that one day i'll find someone that shares my sexuality just as a gay person hopes to find another gay person, straight person hopes... etc

So here's to hoping that it happens, for you and for everyone else looking :)

[StormchasingGal98]

I'm going to one in Chicago next month, its so exciting!

Exciting. :) Hope you have a good time. Good luck to you.

I very very much hope so. My goal in life is to find someone to share it with, but coming to the realisation i can't be in a sexual relationship makes it so much harder (i already have a plethora of things going against me, i'm my own worst enemy :P ) So i hope that one day i'll find someone that shares my sexuality just as a gay person hopes to find another gay person, straight person hopes... etc

So here's to hoping that it happens, for you and for everyone else looking :)

I know just how you feel. I'm in the same boat myself. :( I hope that one day you will find someone. Never give up hope. ^_^

Thanks! I hope so too.

[TealXLIV]

I've never met anyone in real life who is openly anything else but sexual, but I wouldn't mind dating an asexual/demisexual. As I found out last night, there's three members in my geographical area. One is maybe a 25 minute drive away. So real life asexuals are certainly closer than most people would think.

[Mioav]

I've seen at least three ace couples at meets, possibly more hidden away.

Aces can and do date other aces, so yes we can.

[TheLandsBeyond]

It's kind of unlikely that you'll run into someone at the grocery store who happens to be asexual, so it's easier for a lot of asexuals to find a compatible person online, where the pool of asexuals is much larger.

That being said, I'm in an undefined queerplatonic open sort of relationship with someone I met at a music camp a couple years ago. We hit it off from the moment we met (when I knocked over a glass of lemonade while trying to shake his hand), and after camp we did a band together where we saw each other every week, and we talked every night. I actually introduced him to the concept of asexuality, since he was talking about how he used to masturbate to be a "normal" adolescent male, and he's been using the label ever since :). There was a stretch of time where we didn't talk because he was heartbroken that I'd started dating someone from my school, but we started talking again this summer after we'd both gained a lot of life experience and he'd gotten over the drama. We both still have feelings for each other, but we haven't talked about them. We don't need to because we just know, and we're able to say "I love you" to each other as if it's the most natural thing in the world because it is. We don't need to define our relationship because our connection is entirely unselfish yet unique to us.

We haven't seen each other IRL since the summer because he's currently 3000 miles away at university and I'm on a gap year, but I'll get to see him a couple times this winter and I'm really looking forward to it!