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Some questions from a noob


NaomiMisora

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Hey, I'm not yet sure if i'm asexual or aromantic or both, since I'm only 15 years old, and maybe it still has to come.

I know there have probaby asked quite some questions about this, but what does romantic mean exactly, i mean, it couldn't be only the physical part, because then there would be no difference between asexual and aromantic.

I also wondered if it's possible to have a squish if you're not aromantic, and if it's possible to have like a squish on first sight. I also wondered if you when you have a squish,also feel like happy when you think of how that person looks or just when you think of that person in general. Since I don't know anything about it, this sounds more like a crush to me, but the fact is that i wouldn't want to do anything more than hug, although i think it would feel different than with a normal friend. Do you think it's kind of a child crush or an asexual crush? I mean, it could also be that I'm stupid and i'm just 5 years behind on romance level.

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Hey! I'm new to this whole thing too, and I am 27. I have quite a few years on you, and I still haven't figured out a lot of things. I would recommend that you just focus on being 15 for as long as you can, because honestly, if I could be young again, I would in a heartbeat. Don't worry too much about trying to figure out who you are yet, because I can promise that you will change so many times between now and 5 years from now. I think that a lot of your questions will be answers as you grow older, especially because you are maturing in a technology-savvy generation. You have so many different options of getting information, so as you have questions, it's safe to say that someone already experienced what your going through, and has put that information on some sort of website, like this one right now :)

Romance isn't classified in any one way, really. It's subjective person to person. Some would say that romance would be flowers and kisses. Others think that romance is being serenaded on their front porch by the girl/guy of their dreams. Some people even think that bonding over cheesy movies and comic books would be romantic. I guess its anything that make your heart beat faster, gives you butterflies ( I've never personally experienced the whole "butterflies" thing, so not sure if that even applies) and makes you feel closer to the person inciting these feelings. I also think that, thanks to books and rom-com movies, romance has been grossly misinterpreted. Just because it's not hollywood- like, doesn't mean that it isn't real.

Now, just remember that not everyone matures, sexually, the same way. Just because you haven't experienced anything yet, doesn't mean you never will. On the other hand, if you never experience anything sexually, or just plain never want to, there is nothing wrong with that either. Just keep an open mind about everything as your growing up. Also, I have had so many crushes on so many different types of people. Some of them I would classify as just-friends crushes ( wanting to be around that person all the time, feeling happy when they are around, etc) so what your feeling is very normal. Hopefully I was able to answer some of your questions :)

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Hi there! I'm an aromantic asexual. I'm also 16 years old, though I was 15 when I started identifying as asexual, so you're not at a bad age to identify as such. However, other people may not take you seriously because of your age, but that's another topic for another time.

Sexual attraction is something along the lines of looking at someone and thinking "I'd like to have sex with that person" or "I'd hit that". Thoughts of that sort are most likely sexual attraction, especially if you feel drawn to the person somehow.

Romantic attraction (for me) is a bit harder to understand, mostly because the world likes to lump it together with sexual attraction. I've heard it described as wanting to express your love, appreciation, or affection for that person by doing romantic acts. This website has a decent list: http://www.compatibilitycode.com/book-resources/romantic-acts/

A squish is basically an aromantic crush. It's characterized by a desire for a strong platonic relationship with someone, and other than that it follows basically the same rules as a crush.

What you're describing sounds more like a crush than a squish.

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Okay thank you people, then I'll just don't think about it too much now, and who knows,I might be here again later when i'm older and more sure, or maybe just randomly when i'm bored. Thanks irishrose004 for your long and helpfull answer, and thanks Prophasis for your also helpfull answer:)

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