Jump to content

I've slept with people, how do I explain I'm asexual now?


Recommended Posts

I have slept with others but it was mostly because I felt weird for not wanting or feeling the need for sex. I enjoy the idea but I do not enjoy the act.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It doesn't change your identity. You can always try to give the analogy of homosexual people who are married (heterosexual marriage I mean). Because we do one thing, it doesn't necessarily we always want to do it...

But to be more frank, you don't really have to explain :) Just be yourself

Link to post
Share on other sites

Simplest answer / how to explain to someone:

"I can still fall in love, I'm just not interested in the sex."

:cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh accept it.... you're doomed as an asexual... doooomed! ^_^

Seriously though... there are a lot of asexual people who have had or still have sex for a number of different reasons. At least no one can say 'how do you know if you've never tried it' in your case.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have two kids.. so I often get the whole "um how can you be asexual if you have kids" thing (just got it again in chat here the other day haha) But I just tell the truth: before I learned about asexuality I would have sex with my ex-partner because I thought that was what was expected of me even though I never wanted or enjoyed the sex and *wished* the relationship could be sex-free. Like you, I felt weird for not wanting it, so forced myself to have it to appear more 'normal' .. I left my ex-partner when pregnant with our second child (for sexual differences among other more serious issues) and it wasn't until a year after leaving him that I heard about asexuality and had my "aha" moment.. like the world all of a sudden made a *lot* more sense to me. I personally think having had sex often actually makes people believe you *more* because you can say "yeah I've had sex and it did nothing for me" whereas virgins often get the whole "you haven't had sex how do you know you don't want it?" crap.. which must be really annoying!

Link to post
Share on other sites
averylongwalk

you don't have to explain anything if you don't want to. usually the ones requiring an explanation don't accept you unconditionally.

what you can do is give them information about asexuality.

chances are you're going to live your life introducing it to a lot of different people, the best thing you can do is spread information not arguments. and the more and more people you inform the better you will be at describing it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, having sex helped me confirm my asexuality. You could mention that to people, and ask if they want to hear the whole graphic story with a toothy grin just so they'll shut up...unless that makes them curious XP

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...