Making the transition from a closeted Ace to openly Ace - where is the threshold crossed?

[The Maple Leaf Forever]

After a long time of only my best friend knowing about my asexuality, I have started coming out of the closet. This spring, I told another mutual friend about it when he asked me about my lack of a partner in the presence of both of us. I explained to him that among other reasons, while I liked girls, I had no desire to do you-know-what with them. I just asked him to keep it to himself. Fast forward to this fall, by which time I had developed a fan crush on an Internet celebrity, a difficult predicament for obvious reasons, but one which pulled me out of the relationship torpor I had been in for a long time. It resulted in a lot of soul searching, and I ended up opening up about my asexuality to a number of friends, mainly as I wanted their two cents on some of my ideas about how to look for a romantic partner in my situation. This made me confident enough that I have more or less decided that I am going to transition from being an until recently closeted Ace to an open Ace. I plan to tell three other people about it by week's end and am seriously considering coming out to my parents when I go home to Canada to visit in the summer (they definitely suspect something about a son that has never brought a girl home. I would feel more comfortable and confident telling them if by that time I will have found a (platonic) partner or potential romantic interest). I have come to figure that just as gay people have fought for the right to be open about their sexual orientation and even show pride for it, why should I as an Ace be closeted and ashamed? Why can't I be open about my sexual orientation too?

What I'm interested in is, how freely do I need to volunteer this information in order to be considered "openly Ace"? More specifically, here is a short list of the conditions under which I plan to complete the process of coming out:

1. As stated above, I will intentionally tell a few other people about it at present and will likely tell my parents next summer.

2. However, i will not make a point of actively volunteering this infomation to everyone I know. I do intend in the future to come out to most anyone who asks, with some exceptions. I may keep my asexuality from certain individuals who I feel may not be completely understanding or avoid talking about it in social situations where I feel a discussion about asexuality would be awkward or inappropriate, at least for the time being.

3. Also, for the time being, I intend to continue to ask those I tell about it not to volunteer the insight to third parties. I want people to hear about it from me at my discretion.

4. Eventually, I may mention my asexuality in e.g. a Youtube video.

5. For future acquaintances, the extent to which I volunteer this information will follow the same rules as in point 2 above, unless I have a good reason to actively disclose this information to someone.

In light of the above, at what point would you consider that I will become "openly asexual"?

[brightberry]

I think at step #4. At that point, you've given other people the opportunity to find out without your permission, and I think that defines "being open" about your sexuality.

[Kellykinsss]

I consider myself an open asexual. Not everyone in my life knows about but if anyone were to ask me about it I would have no problem telling them about it. I've made many posts about asexuality as a whole on Facebook.

[Guest]

Moving this from Asexual Musing and Rantings to Asexual Q&A

[csm143]

I agree with Prophasis, I believe at #4 you will be open in your asexuality. But at the same time I agree with Moo, because I don't feel like I personally am a closeted asexual since I have no problem telling people who ask me about my sexuality. Though I haven't completely put it on Facebook. But really I guess it would be up to whether or not you are completely comfortable with many people knowing, and telling people that you aren't sure would keep it to themselves that you are asexual. If that makes sense (:

[WearingItLikeArmor]

Personally, I think of being openly asexual as offering this information to the people you know or meet pretty early in a situation. For example, someone who is openly asexual might reference not being attracted to anyone when in a conversation with coworkers or new acquaintances. And, of course, being open with the people you already know. So it's similar to your #4, but not exactly the same. I might have this idea of open asexuality based on the way in which my LGBT+ friends present their own sexuality with others.

[dygrox]

I'd consider myself open about my asexuality, but I only come out if someone makes a comment related to asexuality or asks about my ring (happens surprisingly often).

I think being open is more about accepting your sexual orientation and not actively hiding it (except to especially unaccepting people) rather than the number of the people that know. so I'd say you're openly ace even before you mention it in something like a YouTube video.

[Ficulnean]

I think it's merely when you mention it when the situation requires, then you're open. for example, my mom wants to put me on a dating website at the end of this school year. I pushed it off by letting her know I want to met someone while still attending uni. That was not open.