Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I ask my self why do relationships matter? What is the good thing about them? I find my self hating the idea of relationships. This is a my personal choice to not get into relationship no matter what. No matter how attractive they are. No matter how many times "love" is said. No matter how long to be with them. I choice not to get my self into them. For me at least relationships are not wroth the trouble. <_< Relationships for me are unhealthy no question about it. That is my understand for my self. I fail to understand what people see in relationship that I am missing or just not getting. Link to post Share on other sites
Smmk Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Well, I am sorry you feel this way about it. You see, a relationship is often a very wonderful thing. I could not imagine my life without my partner. We have been together for almost 4 years now. He is my best friend and we have so much fun together. We go out to see movies, or we cook something new together, we have ridicolous conversations and we laugh about things that are not even funny. Do relationships matter? To me they really do. I think I would feel very alone without my partner. But for some people it just isn't the same and that is fine too. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Well, I am sorry you feel this way about it. You see, a relationship is often a very wonderful thing. I could not imagine my life without my partner. We have been together for almost 4 years now. He is my best friend and we have so much fun together. We go out to see movies, or we cook something new together, we have ridicolous conversations and we laugh about things that are not even funny. Do relationships matter? To me they really do. I think I would feel very alone without my partner. But for some people it just isn't the same and that is fine too. One of the other issues that I see is that I can not see my self with person who is able to meet all my needs. Be they spiritually emotional or what ever else. I guess I am just different. To some it is joy while to other it is hell ... Link to post Share on other sites
Smmk Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Well, I am sorry you feel this way about it. You see, a relationship is often a very wonderful thing. I could not imagine my life without my partner. We have been together for almost 4 years now. He is my best friend and we have so much fun together. We go out to see movies, or we cook something new together, we have ridicolous conversations and we laugh about things that are not even funny. Do relationships matter? To me they really do. I think I would feel very alone without my partner. But for some people it just isn't the same and that is fine too. One of the other issues that I see is that I can not see my self with person who is able to meet all my needs. Be they spiritually emotional or what ever else. I guess I am just different. To some it is joy while to other it is hell ... I think I can relate a bit. Before I met my current partner I did not necessarily care about relationships. I could not imagine myself being together with anyone. I never felt the urge to date and wasn't seeking for love or anything. It just sort of...happened. I became friends with him and a couple of months later we both fell in love. Maybe it will be the same for you eventually. But it doesn't have to be that way of course. If you are happy than that is all that matters :) Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 For me I feel that my partner is not mean to meet all my "needs". I turn to God for those. I just have my partner there by my side, and that is enough. http://images.plurk.com/1sOrgzHYYKWBhv5W7otZUF.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Well, I am sorry you feel this way about it. You see, a relationship is often a very wonderful thing. I could not imagine my life without my partner. We have been together for almost 4 years now. He is my best friend and we have so much fun together. We go out to see movies, or we cook something new together, we have ridicolous conversations and we laugh about things that are not even funny. Do relationships matter? To me they really do. I think I would feel very alone without my partner. But for some people it just isn't the same and that is fine too. One of the other issues that I see is that I can not see my self with person who is able to meet all my needs. Be they spiritually emotional or what ever else. I guess I am just different. To some it is joy while to other it is hell ... I think I can relate a bit. Before I met my current partner I did not necessarily care about relationships. I could not imagine myself being together with anyone. I never felt the urge to date and wasn't seeking for love or anything. It just sort of...happened. I became friends with him and a couple of months later we both fell in love. Maybe it will be the same for you eventually. But it doesn't have to be that way of course. If you are happy than that is all that matters :) LOVE, is unreal to me. <_< I can not see my self in a stable relationship. The question about being happy? Happiness is a feeling that comes and goes. For me I feel that my partner is not mean to meet all my "needs". I turn to God for those. I just have my partner there by my side, and that is enough. http://images.plurk.com/1sOrgzHYYKWBhv5W7otZUF.jpg Nice picture. My needs are a thing that changes daily or weekly... Even I have no idea what my needs are. Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I just found that picture today, and I'm super into it. It helped me un-fog my glasses a bit. My needs don't really change, but I at times change where I'm trying to fill my needs. Then I have to remind myself not to search for it in humans and return to God. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Relationships are beneficial on an emotional and physical level for many people. At the end of the day, people are social creatures. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I just found that picture today, and I'm super into it. It helped me un-fog my glasses a bit. My needs don't really change, but I at times change where I'm trying to fill my needs. Then I have to remind myself not to search for it in humans and return to God. That is a good picture. I remember trying to fill my needs in "God". Some night I find my self wanting to be held. <_<. Held why? Because it used to bring comfort to me. Now I come to the point that I avoid touch because my mind thinks "Feelings", "Emotions", "LOVE", "touch", "sex", "good bye" One leads to the other. It almost never fails in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Relationships are beneficial on an emotional and physical level for many people. At the end of the day, people are social creatures. Thus I have emotional problem if I do not have relationships? Is that what you mean? At the physical level, that is what freaks me out. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I said they're beneficial for many people. For others, they're clearly destructive. You choose what works better for you, what other people choose shouldn't be a factor. Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I just found that picture today, and I'm super into it. It helped me un-fog my glasses a bit. My needs don't really change, but I at times change where I'm trying to fill my needs. Then I have to remind myself not to search for it in humans and return to God. That is a good picture. I remember trying to fill my needs in "God". Some night I find my self wanting to be held. <_<. Held why? Because it used to bring comfort to me. Now I come to the point that I avoid touch because my mind thinks "Feelings", "Emotions", "LOVE", "touch", "sex", "good bye" One leads to the other. It almost never fails in my mind. Wanting to be held, I think we all have that. But God's embrace is the most loving one of them all. Though I know it can be hard to remember Him and His constant presence. I don't know about physical touch and love and whatnot always leading to sex. It hasn't so far for me, but that is my personal experience. I had set boundaries that people knew were not allowed to be crossed before they even attempted to enter relationships with me. Perhaps that helped me in my relationships so that they weren't expecting it and thus didn't try for it or ask for it unless I willingly gave it. The one person who did continue to ask for it I could never be with and made it well known to him because he was too physically oriented. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I just found that picture today, and I'm super into it. It helped me un-fog my glasses a bit. My needs don't really change, but I at times change where I'm trying to fill my needs. Then I have to remind myself not to search for it in humans and return to God. That is a good picture. I remember trying to fill my needs in "God". Some night I find my self wanting to be held. <_<. Held why? Because it used to bring comfort to me. Now I come to the point that I avoid touch because my mind thinks "Feelings", "Emotions", "LOVE", "touch", "sex", "good bye" One leads to the other. It almost never fails in my mind. I don't know about physical touch and love and whatnot always leading to sex. It hasn't so far for me, but that is my personal experience. I had set boundaries that people knew were not allowed to be crossed before they even attempted to enter relationships with me. My body see touch as almost always leading to sex. When I am touched I freak out, and I ask myself why are they touching me. I remember trying to set walls. But most of the time I end up breaking down my own walls, unable to face that. Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 It's okay if someone wants physical touch and relationships and it's okay if someone doesn't. Some people want/value/enjoy relationships (romantic or otherwise) and some people don't. It doesn't really matter how we differ. It matters how we tolerate those differences. One of the other issues that I see is that I can not see my self with person who is able to meet all my needs. I don't view it as healthy or realistic to expect someone to "meet all my needs." It's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Valja Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Wow, I so feel the same as you about relationships, but I want strong friendships, I think they are the purest and the most beautiful thing ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Purnkin Spurce Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 That's perfectly fine for you and your choice and you have every right to think so. I did for the longest time. Then I found out I was inlove with someone and I started to feel lonely, started to crave relationships. I still don't think they are that worth it, not unless I was truly inlove with someone and they felt the same. Then I think, it would be worth the extra drama that goes with it, if I get to spend time with that one person I love so deeply. But I don't, they don't feel the same so I stay single hoping someday I will find someone who feels the same. Relationships aren't for everyone, hell I've never had a real relationship. But I want one, I want someone I can be with, spend time with, share things with and say "I love you" and they say it back and mean it as much as I do. It's important for me not to be single until I'm dead. I want to share romantic affections with someone and have it returned. I can fathom being single for 20+ more years, but not being without a partner till the day I die really saddens me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 That's perfectly fine for you and your choice and you have every right to think so. I did for the longest time. Then I found out I was inlove with someone and I started to feel lonely, started to crave relationships. I still don't think they are that worth it, not unless I was truly inlove with someone and they felt the same. Then I think, it would be worth the extra drama that goes with it, if I get to spend time with that one person I love so deeply. But I don't, they don't feel the same so I stay single hoping someday I will find someone who feels the same. Relationships aren't for everyone, hell I've never had a real relationship. But I want one, I want someone I can be with, spend time with, share things with and say "I love you" and they say it back and mean it as much as I do. It's important for me not to be single until I'm dead. I want to share romantic affections with someone and have it returned. I can fathom being single for 20+ more years, but not being without a partner till the day I die really saddens me. How did you deal with it? What changed? What is love? Link to post Share on other sites
Whispearl Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 You are perfectly allowed to have your own opinion on relationships, and nobody should show you any disrespect for it. I know I looked at relationships with a lot of confusion and anxiety for the longest time, because I didn't experience romantic attraction like others. Having a minority opinion is fine. But if that opinion spreads to people as a whole, and relationships outside of your own, that could be a bit problematic. Relationships matter to a lot of people, including myself. I actually met someone who literally challenged and changed everything I thought about relationships. He ended up being my first boyfriend, if only for a short while, and I still got one of the best friends I've made in a long time out of it. I'm not saying that everyone has to meet "that person" to understand relationships, but keeping an open mind and taking things as they come can really help you open up to viewpoints that aren't yours. Because for me, now I know I'm capable of romantic attraction and actually being a functioning member of a relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 That's perfectly fine for you and your choice and you have every right to think so. I did for the longest time. Then I found out I was inlove with someone and I started to feel lonely, started to crave relationships. I still don't think they are that worth it, not unless I was truly inlove with someone and they felt the same. Then I think, it would be worth the extra drama that goes with it, if I get to spend time with that one person I love so deeply. But I don't, they don't feel the same so I stay single hoping someday I will find someone who feels the same. Relationships aren't for everyone, hell I've never had a real relationship. But I want one, I want someone I can be with, spend time with, share things with and say "I love you" and they say it back and mean it as much as I do. It's important for me not to be single until I'm dead. I want to share romantic affections with someone and have it returned. I can fathom being single for 20+ more years, but not being without a partner till the day I die really saddens me. It was the same for me. Once I found someone I loved my mind started working differently. I desire a relationship. I even desire a permanent one such as marriage (I've always been very personally anti-marriage). And I, too, now can experience loneliness for the first time in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 That's perfectly fine for you and your choice and you have every right to think so. I did for the longest time. Then I found out I was inlove with someone and I started to feel lonely, started to crave relationships. I still don't think they are that worth it, not unless I was truly inlove with someone and they felt the same. Then I think, it would be worth the extra drama that goes with it, if I get to spend time with that one person I love so deeply. But I don't, they don't feel the same so I stay single hoping someday I will find someone who feels the same. Relationships aren't for everyone, hell I've never had a real relationship. But I want one, I want someone I can be with, spend time with, share things with and say "I love you" and they say it back and mean it as much as I do. It's important for me not to be single until I'm dead. I want to share romantic affections with someone and have it returned. I can fathom being single for 20+ more years, but not being without a partner till the day I die really saddens me. It was the same for me. Once I found someone I loved my mind started working differently. I desire a relationship. I even desire a permanent one such as marriage (I've always been very personally anti-marriage). And I, too, now can experience loneliness for the first time in my life. I grew up being anti- marriage, anti-relationship. I remember that I hated the idea of people getting close to me. So last night was the last time to chat with my ex with cam. I was getting so stressed out about having to talk with her. I knew that some part of me wanted to chat with her while the other wanted to run away. So now I am free as a bird no strings nothing to hold me back Link to post Share on other sites
gary80 Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Fu k relationships. You should just be with your be with Link to post Share on other sites
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