enbyace Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 so I'm not jealous of the fact that my qpp has a romantic/sexual partner, but I do sometimes get incredibly uncomfortable about it, like if sex is mentioned at all in their context... I know it's because of my complex relationship with sex and actions that have sexual/romantic baggage, and as an aro/ace person, I feel like I'm competing with that... I don't know... and when my other friends start getting into sexual relationships after having not been in them for a long time, it makes me really uncomfortable and feel really lonely... I used to consider any solo sexual act I performed mine alone and I wasn't ashamed or anything but now I feel so uncomfortable and gross. like. I'm not like them why am I performing these rituals... they feel out of place now... I signed up for a few forums including this one in hopes of feeling less broken and alone but it's just been me coming to terms with how broken and alone I really have been feeling all along. but it especially bums me out when it's my close friends or qpp, even if it's an innocuous comment. I don't know. how do I deal with this inside me? what can I tell myself or read that will help me forgive myself for feeling so intensely over something that shouldn't be a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Sci Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Shh, it's okay to feel this way. But you're not broken or inadequate. Just because you don't expierence the same things your close friends or qpp do doesn't mean that anything is wrong or bad. Nothing is wrong. It is normal to feel this way as it is normal to not feel this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Anytime you have these thoughts, you can ask yourself if you are being authentic to who you are. If the answer is yes, then in time I think that this would help. Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Ace Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 It is all right to feel like that, and understandable to feel alienated from your friends when they talk and feel things you don't. There are plenty of people who are similar to you though, especially on here. What helps me is being my own best friend and treating myself like I would my best friend... It's important to realise things takes time, and accepting this isn't always easy, so also allow yourself time for things to settle... Link to post Share on other sites
enbyace Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Thank you for your kind assurances, friends. I've never been able to talk about this before. It is already helping me. Link to post Share on other sites
enbyace Posted November 25, 2014 Author Share Posted November 25, 2014 This feeling creeps up on me every few hours. I'll be okay, and then it will just hit me, and I just feel so broken and I don't know who to talk to about it, so I thought I would just... maybe return to this forum and hope for some more helpful and honest communications. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this one on one. I feel like I'm splitting in half, and feel anxious & nauseous. It's coming on right now and I'm trying to breathe through it, but it's intense, and cold, and terrible. Not a panic attack, just the feeling of being totally different, alienated, broken. Link to post Share on other sites
Emerald Green Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Broken, that's a thing a lot of aces have felt. You aren't broken, none of us here are. You might be different, but that's okay. You still care about others, and they still care about you. It doesn't matter how. Go give or receive a hug. You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
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