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Nonlibidoist sexual?


newMasturbator

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newMasturbator

My sexuality has always confused me, I never really understood it. So yesterday I just realized (at 22 years of age) that I don't seem to have a libido. However, I feel sexually attracted to women (I'm heterosexual). So I always equated my sexual attraction to having a libido. I have also experienced sex with women and I enjoyed it (but I failed to have an orgasm).

However, I never masturbated to an orgasm and I never feel an urge to masturbate. Specifically, I don't have an ''itch to scratch". As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even know what ''an itch to scratch'' should feel like.

So here is the great paradox: how can I never feel an urge to masturbate/orgasm and still feel attracted to women and enjoy sex with them? I always assumed I couldn't masturbate because it didn't arouse me enough. I never realized most people have an innate excitement level when they feel ''horny'' which makes it easy for them to orgasm. I always thought everyone needed massive real-life sexual stimulation to experience an orgasm. I found out I was wrong.....

Not having a libido never frustrated me. I think constantly having ''an itch to scratch'' must be really annoying. But now I miss having good orgasms on a regular basis. I would just love to regularly feel that release, not just in my sleep.I'm also worried that a future girlfriend would't like the fact that I never finish. So I intend to visit a doctor and ask him to check my hormone levels.

I think my sexuality is a bit bizarre because I can get really turned on when I see real-life women and when I have sexual contacts with them, but at the same time I never feel an urge to sexual release or masturbation. My sex organs are in good shape and I don't seem to lack testosterone because I'm muscular and bearded.

So I have a few questions.

1) Are there more nonlibidoist sexuals on this forum?

2) Do you guys think my attraction to women indicate having a libido or would you consider me not having a libido at all?

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I never thought of myself that way...but it might fit. I don't really feel the need to have sex and I'm actually perfectly fine with being in an asexual relationship. Although, I cannot call myself truly asexual because I do have sex on a very occasional basis, and I very much enjoy the act when I do it. I do enjoy masturbation, though, and I do that from time to time but again, it's not something I feel the need for, it's just something I know I enjoy occasionally.

I have often questioned whether I might just be low on testosterone because I'm the same age as you and I shave maybe once every three weeks and I'm often pretty feminine for a heterosexual male. But then I was raised by women so that might explain it.

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verily-forsooth-egads

Hmm. I've never heard of this actually being a thing, and I've always wondered what it would entail, but it sure sounds like that's what you are. Welcome to AVEN; I hope you find some answers here. :cake:

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newMasturbator

Hmm. I've never heard of this actually being a thing, and I've always wondered what it would entail, but it sure sounds like that's what you are. Welcome to AVEN; I hope you find some answers here. :cake:

Thanks, I really love this forum. It really shows how unique everybody's sexuality is :)

Well, I can explain to you how it feels like to be a nonlibidoist sexual guy. Basically, I can only get turned on by real-life women. If I'm not around real-life women I will not feel any arousal or need to masturbate. But when a woman turns me on and gets me aroused I really enjoy it.

So I guess my libido is just situational. I never feel anything, but if a girl undresses in front of me I just want to do one thing and that's having sex with her.

I cannot understand how someone can orgasm through masturbation. Jerking off is so incredibly boring. But I only recently learned that everybody (except myself) does it, lol.

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Hmm. I've never heard of this actually being a thing, and I've always wondered what it would entail, but it sure sounds like that's what you are. Welcome to AVEN; I hope you find some answers here. :cake:

Thanks, I really love this forum. It really shows how unique everybody's sexuality is :)

Well, I can explain to you how it feels like to be a nonlibidoist sexual guy. Basically, I can only get turned on by real-life women. If I'm not around real-life women I will not feel any arousal or need to masturbate. But when a woman turns me on and gets me aroused I really enjoy it.

So I guess my libido is just situational. I never feel anything, but if a girl undresses in front of me I just want to do one thing and that's having sex with her.

I cannot understand how someone can orgasm through masturbation. Jerking off is so incredibly boring. But I only recently learned that everybody (except myself) does it, lol.

Okay, I see now what you mean. That's a little bit different that what I was talking about, but close.

Yeah, this is a very unique community full of very interesting and supportive people and I am extremely glad I have found them.

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newMasturbator

Okay, I see now what you mean. That's a little bit different that what I was talking about, but close.

Yeah, this is a very unique community full of very interesting and supportive people and I am extremely glad I have found them.

But you said you like to masturbate. I don't know what that feels like. So I would like to ask you:

what drives you to masturbate? As in, what's the trigger?

And how can you achieve orgasm by masturbating? Does the penis get really sensitive when you are aroused? Because I just lose interest very quickly when I masturbate.

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Moved to The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions forum.

Byanyothername

Asexual Q&A Mod

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Okay, I see now what you mean. That's a little bit different that what I was talking about, but close.

Yeah, this is a very unique community full of very interesting and supportive people and I am extremely glad I have found them.

But you said you like to masturbate. I don't know how that feels like. So I would like to ask you:

what drives you to masturbate? As in, what's the trigger?

And how can you achieve orgasm by masturbating? Does the penis get really sensitive when you are aroused? Because I just lose interest when I masturbate very quickly.

Nothing more drives me to masturbate than anything drives me to eat cake. I like both of those things, and I occasionally enjoy those things, but I'm okay without them and only partake in them when the situation calls for it. As for the rest of your question, yeah I'd lose interest if I did it that way too. I enjoy myself like I would if I had a partner with me, except I'm my partner, and holy crap I am one attractive person and I want me so bad.

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newMasturbator

Nothing more drives me to masturbate than anything drives me to eat cake. I like both of those things, and I occasionally enjoy those things, but I'm okay without them and only partake in them when the situation calls for it. As for the rest of your question, yeah I'd lose interest if I did it that way too. I enjoy myself like I would if I had a partner with me, except I'm my partner, and holy crap I am one attractive person and I want me so bad.

Ok, so you don't feel like you HAVE to do it. I actually wanted to say I cannot achieve real arousal without a woman around. So I cannot get really turned on when I masturbate because it doesn't do anything for me, whatever I try to do. That's the real reason I lose interest in it. Only women can arouse me really, that's the bottom line. There is no innate excitement or arousal level in my system.

Although I have to say I enjoyed watching myself in the mirror with an erection, lol.

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