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An Ace Nympho?


paperwishes

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Also in reply to your comment: Do you mean that when you do not have a deep bond with someone, you still desire and enjoy sex (without *needing* it) but it's not until you are in a relationship that you *need* sex to be happy?.. or do you mean that you can enjoy and desire the sensations of sex only once you are in a relationship? sorry for the random question I just see that you identify as demisexual so I would think that a demisexual would experience it differently from an asexual anyway (once they have formed a deep bond with someone at least)?? it's fine if that's too personal you don't have to answer it, I just got confused over that point.

I've always understood demis as people who function exactly like aces most of the time, but in an emotionally close, long 'ship, may reach a point when they change into functioning exactly like sexuals, in regards to that specific partner.

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It's possible to enjoy or even want sex without needing it, anyway. I don't know if there are many people who do, but I know that I'm one of these persons. I could imagine that somebody could have a lot of sex without needing it, just because they want a life full of pleasure, in the same way as most people can enjoy alcohol and even getting drunk without being addicted to it.

Yeah but if that was the case, you could go the rest of your life without alcohol or getting drunk and that wouldn't cause you any emotional turmoil.

I meant that an asexual can enjoy partnered sex, but they won't be thrown into emotional turmoil at the prospect of living a sexless life for whatever reason (ie they are happy to masturbate to satisfy sexual arousal for the rest of their life if presented with that prospect). Whereas someone who does *need* sex to the extent that they are severely depressed by the idea of never having it again, even emotionally distraught at the prospect of a sexless life, regardless of whether or not they find other people attractive or form bonds with them or anything, well.. that describes many of the sexual people I have known in my life.

Also in reply to your comment: Do you mean that when you do not have a deep bond with someone, you still desire and enjoy sex (without *needing* it) but it's not until you are in a relationship that you *need* sex to be happy?.. or do you mean that you can enjoy and desire the sensations of sex only once you are in a relationship? sorry for the random question I just see that you identify as demisexual so I would think that a demisexual would experience it differently from an asexual anyway (once they have formed a deep bond with someone at least)?? it's fine if that's too personal you don't have to answer it, I just got confused over that point.

As to this thread: Nymphomaniac specifically describes a woman who is addicted to seeking partnered sex with multiple people.. she may not even be aroused by the sex or the person, but craves that sex bond to such an extent that she even puts herself into self-destructive scenarios just to get partnered sex (the movie ''nymphomaniac'' i thought described what it's like quite well) it's just a compulsive obsession with having lots and lots and lots of partnered sex. A high libido is different, that can be dealt with through masturbation alone, nymphomania is characterized by the obsession for partnered sex, not just having a high libido. So sure, I guess someone can be asexual and be a nymphomaniac, but many nymphomaniacs are like that sooo we would be expanding asexuality to include a greater percentage of the population than previously thought.

I do agree with many speculations that the percentage of asexuality is higher than the 1% that studies have indicated... I mean, natural asexuality even occurs in about 3% of male rats and about 12.5% (sometimes more) of male rams.. that's showing no interest in partnered sexual activity despite having identical hormone levels to animals of their species who do show interest in partnered sexual activity.

However I think if we are going to go so far as to say that an asexual can be someone who cannot live a happy life without partnered sex because partnered sex is something they fundamentally *need* for sexual satisfaction (masturbation alone is not enough, they *need* another person there, they feel that sex is very important in a relationship because it's a fundamental part of emotional satisfaction in a relationship etc) then we would be driving the percentage of asexuality up to like 15 or 20% (probably more) of the population,,, so yeah, that's fine.. but meh.. I just don't really see the point in even having a label for asexuality if that's the case. Just my opinion though I understand that others may disagree :cake:

Also we are taking into account that being an asexual nymphomaniac would be completely disregarding AVENs definition of asexuality, which is ''a person who has no desire for partnered sexual contact'' but yeah, there is so much debate over the definition that I guess it's best to just eave that part out :P

It's fine, we're on AVEN, so, sorry for others if I'm off-topic...

I know that I'm a demisexual as in my last relationship, I felt attracted to my partner, including in a sexual way, in a way that made me think that it would be great of we could have sex one day. I'm demiromantic too, and I never feel sexual attraction without romantic attraction, so I'm obviously "double demi". However, if you consider that all sexual people feel a real need for sex, an urge, and feel frustrated if it doesn't happen, I could be considered fully asexual as I don't miss having sex and I wouldn't feel sad if I learned that I would never have sex again. It's something I like, but I'm not attached to it.

So, this made me think that there could be asexuals who love sex and decide to often have sex, but who aren't attached to it. Something which people can seek because it's pleasurable, but which doesn't mean that because it's pleasurable, it must be a need.

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So, this made me think that there could be asexuals who love sex and decide to often have sex, but who aren't attached to it. Something which people can seek because it's pleasurable, but which doesn't mean that because it's pleasurable, it must be a need.

This is what I meant. The nympho word is a little extreme, but it just rolled off the tongue man.

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So, this made me think that there could be asexuals who love sex and decide to often have sex, but who aren't attached to it. Something which people can seek because it's pleasurable, but which doesn't mean that because it's pleasurable, it must be a need.

This is what I meant. The nympho word is a little extreme, but it just rolled off the tongue man.

Maybe be more careful with wording in future then?

There is a *massive* difference between someone who can enjoy sex but can happily live without it (there are lots of asexuals like this) and someone who is literally addicted to having partnered sex and will go out of their way to seek it, even at risk to their own safety, and who will become distraught and upset at the idea of not being able to have partnered sex because it is such a fundamental part of their life (which is what nymphomania means)

If you meant "is there such a thing as an asexual who loves sex?" And worded it that way (ie "An Ace Who Loves Sex?") then the responses would have been different. There are many asexuals who say they love sex, they just don't *need it to be happy* the way that many sexual people do.

Nymphomania/Satyromania (the female and male versions hypersexuality/sex addiction) is vastly different from the experience of just 'loving the way sex feels'

:cake:

EDIT: not saying an asexual can't have an extremely high libido, they can! just saying that they can be content satisfying that libido through masturbation without feeling like something is missing because there's no partner there. If there *was* a partner present they may enjoy partnered sex, but they don't feel *empty* without partnered sex the way many sexual people do.

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I think that the definition might vary depending on an internal or external view. I mean that somebody who has a huge lot of sex but who isn't addicted to it may still be perceived by others as hypersexual.

So, should we take into account addiction, quantity of sex, or both ?

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I think that the definition might vary depending on an internal or external view. I mean that somebody who has a huge lot of sex but who isn't addicted to it may still be perceived by others as hypersexual.

So, should we take into account addiction, quantity of sex, or both ?

Nymphomania is sex addiction, not 'a lot of sex'. . There is a big difference between not being able to live a satisfying life without partnered sex because it is such a fundamental part of one's happiness and enjoyment, and having a lot of sex but being fully content to live without it for the rest of one's life if that situation arises.

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An asexual with a high libido is possible, I guess, but, I am willing to bet they would identify themselves as bi or pansexual.

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I think that the definition might vary depending on an internal or external view. I mean that somebody who has a huge lot of sex but who isn't addicted to it may still be perceived by others as hypersexual.

So, should we take into account addiction, quantity of sex, or both ?

Nymphomania is sex addiction, not 'a lot of sex'. . There is a big difference between not being able to live a satisfying life without partnered sex because it is such a fundamental part of one's happiness and enjoyment, and having a lot of sex but being fully content to live without it for the rest of one's life if that situation arises.

Well, sorry, I was meaning it like they love it so much they DO seek it out. They wouldn't be happy living without it, but they still lack the ability to be sexually attracted to a person. They're, like, sexually attracted to the feeling... Maybe this is an entirely different sexuality that I am inventing!

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Well the term cupiosexuality (meant to be a subset of asexuality, though it's a Tumblr-coined term) defines someone who desires partnered sex because they enjoy the feelings of it, but who does not experience sexual attraction (ie it's the sex they want, not the person) however that goes against AVENs definition of asexuality because they define sexual attraction *as* the desire for partnered sex, not "the desire for a person".. but maybe that term is closer to what you mean?

Again though, I have met plenty of sexuals who just love sex for the sake of sex and don't care who it's with, its the sex they want, not the person they're having it with.. that's the main thing that makes me question the whole "asexual who loves sex and *needs it to be happy* (ie could not give it up) just does not desire the people involved in the sex" scenario.. like I said earlier if this actually *is* asexual, then the percentage of asexuals would be closer to 15% or maybe even 20% of the population. This to me is a sexual who isn't experiencing aesthetic, physical or even sensual attraction.. they are 'only' experiencing the desire for partnered sex (sexual attraction) with no other factors involved, because it's the *partnered* sex they want, not the person.

I guess it really depends on what school of thought you belong to. That asexuality has nothing to do with partnered sex and everything to do with whether or not you find people hot, or the other side of the fence, Asexuality has nothing to do with whether or not you find other people hot, and everything to do with whether or not you have an innate desire for (ie cannot be happy without) partnered sex.

AVEN stands behind the second definiton (asexuality is a lack of desire for partnered sex, that's if you go by their definiton of sexual attraction) but many people like to go with the "whether or not you find people hot defintion"

Again though, one last time, if asexuality includes people who cannot live happily without partnered sex (but lack the experience of finding people 'hot') then asexuals would be at least 15% of the population.

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I wouldn't connect nymphomania and asexuality because there are two different terms and there is no relation between being ace and nympho. Demi /grey aces rather have sex if they have right partner while libidoists only have libido, not compulsive desire to have sex.

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Aisntllecxtual

I can envision an asexual who is unaware of his/her asexuality who goes around having sex with a seemingly endless series of partners and finding all the encounters as wanting/dissatisfying. The as-yet-aware asexual could justify these dissatisfying encounters/experiences as the fault of his/her partners or particular situations - externalizing in blaming: not attractive enough for whatever reason, environment not conducive, etc.

Yes, an asexual could enjoy partnered sex in discrete instance(s), but, of course, not as need or want for sex to live a happy life: rather, contrarily, as part of nature, go without it for the rest of his/her life and not only not miss it but almost certainly be tremendously relieved - even ecstatically happy! - without it. I personally, can not envision the OP's scenario of compulsive need for partnered sex (nymphomania) and such person being simultaneously of asexual nature. With that said, what I state is view/opinion and there are no asexual police to say who can so identify. The capacity to know derives subjectively from deep inner reflection - introspection - and the devotion of rational minds.

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  • 1 year later...

Right now i kinda identify as this. I want to touch girls' hair, want to hug her and caress her hair. And hold her and sniff her. I guess that's it. Asexual much?

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Yes, that's totally possible. Enjoying sex and having a high libido is not not necessarily in correlation with your sexuality. It's possible that one would rather have someone else take care of needs rather than just doing it yourself. Taking care of yourself is very different than having someone else take care of you.

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I'm gonna lock this for thread necromancy. If you want to continue this discussion, feel free to do so in the appropriate forums.

Aess'erhyth Ess

Q&A co-mod

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