paperwishes Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Is it possible for there to be an asexual nymphomaniac? That is, one who doesn't experience sexual attraction but has a high libido and loves sex so much they have it whenever they can. Of course the choice of partners might not be based on looks entirely (maybe an aesthetic attraction may be there), it might be a friend or someone they have a crush on for other reasons. I think there can be, even though people outside of the ace community may not understand it (as there is a stereotype that we all hate sex) but I think it is possible. What do you think? Maybe you already know of one. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 It's really hard to imagine that. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Going to have to go with Sally on this one... Link to post Share on other sites
drjohnhwatson Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I don't know. That seems a little odd. I can see an asexual maybe having a high libido and sex drive and then masturbating a lot in order to deal with that, but to have lots of sex with people...I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I think it may be possible. I have a high libido, but i've never taken it out on anyone, nor do I really have any sort of desire to do so. Since I've never been there, I can't say how I'd deal with it, or if I'll be wanting to come back for more. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Technically, yes, there can be, under the current definition that it has. Which is why I'm not a fan of said definition. XD Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Maybe a hugs addict, but I'd imagine that sort of thing to be more closely associated with ABDL. Although I'd be ok with a female partner who needs constant hugs... Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Eh, this is the kinda stuff that makes people not take asexuality seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I have a high libido, but i've never taken it out on anyone lol, the wrath of the asexuals :P hmmm....I agree with woodworker that the two terms are rather contradictory... Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Could exist but might be rare. I have a fairly high libido but I lack an innate desire for partnered sex. I just can't imagine myself banging a bunch of people whenever I'm horny. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 This is an interesting question. It would be interesting if they did a study on someone dealing suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder, and one of the alters was an asexual, while another had nymphomaniac tendencies. Aww, I miss the cautioncarnival name. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Well actually AVEN defines sexual attraction AS the desire partnered sex. So according to AVEN an asexual is a person who has no desire for partnered sexual contact (regardless of the level of one's libido)Sounds to me like *all* this person (the one the OP described) would be experiencing *is* sexual attraction (the desire for partnered sex with other people) but little to no aesthetic and sensual attraction (ie this person doesn't find people "hot" in a way that makes them want to get close to them intimately)People need to remember that as far as AVENs definition goes, asexuality is not about whether or not you find people hot in a sexually arousing way (because lots of asexuals experience this without desiring actual partnered sex with said people) it's about whether or not you have an innate desire for partnered sex with other people. If someone feels they couldn't happily live a life that was free of partnered sex because they just love sex so much, but they never find people 'hot', then they need to consider whether they are an asexual or really just a sexual who doesn't experience aesthetic and sensual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
virtua Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I'm surprised at how many people have rejected this already... how is it not possible to remove sexual attraction from sex? can someone only have sex, can someone only enjoy sex, if they have sexual attraction? can someone only be addicted to a cigarette if they enjoy smoking? I don't think people are disagreeing with the idea that the only reason someone would have sex would be for sexual attraction. In fact, many sexuals on AVEN have said they went out and had sex with people just because they desired sex in that moment (no attraction involved). What I think people here are disagreeing with, is the idea that an asexual can have an innate desire to go out and have sex with others; many people think this would classify someone as "sexual." After all, enjoying sex or having sex aren't the same as having an intrinsic urge to have sex or feeling dissatisfied until you have had sex with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I'm surprised at how many people have rejected this already... how is it not possible to remove sexual attraction from sex? can someone only have sex, can someone only enjoy sex, if they have sexual attraction? can someone only be addicted to a cigarette if they enjoy smoking? I don't think people are disagreeing with the idea that the only reason someone would have sex would be for sexual attraction. In fact, many sexuals on AVEN have said they went out and had sex with people just because they desired sex in that moment (no attraction involved). What I think people here are disagreeing with, is the idea that an asexual can have an innate desire to go out and have sex with others; many people think this would classify someone as "sexual." After all, enjoying sex or having sex aren't the same as having an intrinsic urge to have sex or feeling dissatisfied until you have had sex with someone else. I'd say akin to someone without taste buds wanting to try different flavors of food. It doesn't make much sense. Link to post Share on other sites
shockkkk Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 What exactly is a nympho? If they just had an extremely high libido, but had no desire to do anything sexual besides solo masturbation, they would be asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 A nympho has always been defined as someone constantly wanting sex, and the sex they wanted was with other people, not themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Bergamot Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Initially, it does seem difficult to understand an asexual behaving in this was, but I think it is possible. Even without the desire for partnered sex and without feeling sexual attraction, there may still be other reasons why the person enjoys sex and chooses to seek it out. What these reasons are would be up to the unique individual. Maybe sex gives them feelings of power over their partner and so they use it as a means to boost their self esteem. Or perhaps they're just extremely fascinated by the whole biological process of sex itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 What exactly is a nympho? If they just had an extremely high libido, but had no desire to do anything sexual besides solo masturbation, they would be asexual. A nymphomaniac is a hypersexual female, a satyromaniac is male hypersexual. satyromania in a man, a mania for frequent, continued sexual intercourse. Cf. nymphomania nymphomaniac noun [C] UK /ˌnɪm.fəˈmeɪ.ni.æk/ US /-foʊ-/ (informalnympho) a woman who likes to have sex very often, especially with a lot of different men wow those copy/pastes got a little messed up. Anyway, these differ from just having say, hyperactive arousal disorder which is just repeatedly becoming horny and needing to masturbate, hypersexuality (nymphomania or satyromania) is where one needs to engage in actual partnered sex repeatedly, and cannot be satisfied no matter how much sex they have. Link to post Share on other sites
paperwishes Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 This is an interesting question. It would be interesting if they did a study on someone dealing suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder, and one of the alters was an asexual, while another had nymphomaniac tendencies. Aww, I miss the cautioncarnival name. I hate that username hahaha sorry What exactly is a nympho? If they just had an extremely high libido, but had no desire to do anything sexual besides solo masturbation, they would be asexual. A nymphomaniac is a hypersexual female, a satyromaniac is male hypersexual. satyromania in a man, a mania for frequent, continued sexual intercourse. Cf. nymphomania nymphomaniac noun [C] UK /ˌnɪm.fəˈmeɪ.ni.æk/ US /-foʊ-/ (informalnympho) a woman who likes to have sex very often, especially with a lot of different men wow those copy/pastes got a little messed up. Anyway, these differ from just having say, hyperactive arousal disorder which is just repeatedly becoming horny and needing to masturbate, hypersexuality (nymphomania or satyromania) is where one needs to engage in actual partnered sex repeatedly, and cannot be satisfied no matter how much sex they have. Whaaa! I've never heard the term satyromania in my life. I thought nymphomania explained both of them. Even my spell check is underlining "satyromania" but not "nymphomania". Is this a new thing? ----- Okay so clarification, I think it is possible because aces have said (even myself) that they have enjoyed sex before. So what if there was one that enjoyed it SO MUCH that they had to seek it out as much as they could. They could not masturbate because it is not the same feeling. They do it for the FEELING, it's like if they just had their eyes closed the whole time. It has nothing to do with attraction, it's just that picking someone would be the weird part, yes, which is why I said they may have their own reasons that I might not even be able to think of. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Well actually AVEN defines sexual attraction AS the desire partnered sex. So according to AVEN an asexual is a person who has no desire for partnered sexual contact (regardless of the level of one's libido) Sounds to me like *all* this person (the one the OP described) would be experiencing *is* sexual attraction (the desire for partnered sex with other people) but little to no aesthetic and sensual attraction (ie this person doesn't find people "hot" in a way that makes them want to get close to them intimately) People need to remember that as far as AVENs definition goes, asexuality is not about whether or not you find people hot in a sexually arousing way (because lots of asexuals experience this without desiring actual partnered sex with said people) it's about whether or not you have an innate desire for partnered sex with other people. If someone feels they couldn't happily live a life that was free of partnered sex because they just love sex so much, but they never find people 'hot', then they need to consider whether they are an asexual or really just a sexual who doesn't experience aesthetic and sensual attraction. I would call this sexual desire rather than sexual attraction, because sexual desire can be directed at a lot of people including persons who aren't attractive. I think it shows that hypersexual persons don't have as much sexual attraction as sexual desire, as they aren't picky persons to say the least. I can imagine some people being asexual and hypersexual (which mainly refers to libido). Some sexual acts can't be done alone (oral...). Some persons aren't aroused by masturbation. Link to post Share on other sites
virtua Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Initially, it does seem difficult to understand an asexual behaving in this was, but I think it is possible. Even without the desire for partnered sex and without feeling sexual attraction, there may still be other reasons why the person enjoys sex and chooses to seek it out. What these reasons are would be up to the unique individual. Maybe sex gives them feelings of power over their partner and so they use it as a means to boost their self esteem. Or perhaps they're just extremely fascinated by the whole biological process of sex itself. That's a bit different from wanting sex for its own sake. As you said, the first example would be for the goal of having power over another in order to raise their own esteem and the second would be to satisfy their curiosity over the biological process of sex itself. Neither have to do with with seeking out sex with another just to have sex with someone else. Okay so clarification, I think it is possible because aces have said (even myself) that they have enjoyed sex before. So what if there was one that enjoyed it SO MUCH that they had to seek it out as much as they could. They could not masturbate because it is not the same feeling. They do it for the FEELING, it's like if they just had their eyes closed the whole time. It has nothing to do with attraction, it's just that picking someone would be the weird part, yes, which is why I said they may have their own reasons that I might not even be able to think of. This sounds exactly like what many non-asexual people say for why they have sex. What you describe also makes it sound as if the only reason they seek out sex is because of sexual attraction, which isn't accurate. For some, sexual attraction is more important; sex with someone they're not sexually attracted to wouldn't be appealing and they wouldn't seek it out. For others, sexual attraction is secondary; their love for partnered sex is enough to make them go out and have sex with someone they're not attracted to. Even among both groups and those who fall in between those groups, the one commonality I've observed is that, "They could not masturbate because it is not the same feeling. They [have sex with a partner] for the FEELING, it's like if they just had their eyes closed the whole time." Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Whaaa! I've never heard the term satyromania in my life. I thought nymphomania explained both of them. Even my spell check is underlining "satyromania" but not "nymphomania". Is this a new thing? Nope. Nymphomania has pretty much always just referred to women. I've more commonly heard the male analogue called satyriasis than satyromania, though. ...and either way, I think sex addiction is a better term, because it takes out the gendering. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Is sex addiction a real thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Yep Marki people get addicted to sex just like they get addicted to tobacco or alcohol. Sex creates endorphins and people get addicted to the endorphine hit (that's just one reason people get addicted to it though, there are many) .. addiction is when they can't stop thinking about, can't stop having/trying to have it, can't stop watching porn etc.. a range of things happen with sex addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 This is an interesting question. It would be interesting if they did a study on someone dealing suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder, and one of the alters was an asexual, while another had nymphomaniac tendencies. Aww, I miss the cautioncarnival name. I hate that username hahaha sorry What exactly is a nympho? If they just had an extremely high libido, but had no desire to do anything sexual besides solo masturbation, they would be asexual. A nymphomaniac is a hypersexual female, a satyromaniac is male hypersexual. satyromania[/size] in a man, a mania for frequent, continued sexual intercourse. Cf. nymphomania nymphomaniac noun [C] UK /ˌnɪm.fəˈmeɪ.ni.æk/[/size] US /-foʊ-/[/size] (informalnympho) a woman who likes to have sex very often, especially with a lot of different men wow those copy/pastes got a little messed up. Anyway, these differ from just having say, hyperactive arousal disorder which is just repeatedly becoming horny and needing to masturbate, hypersexuality (nymphomania or satyromania) is where one needs to engage in actual partnered sex repeatedly, and cannot be satisfied no matter how much sex they have. Whaaa! I've never heard the term satyromania in my life. I thought nymphomania explained both of them. Even my spell check is underlining "satyromania" but not "nymphomania". Is this a new thing? ----- Okay so clarification, I think it is possible because aces have said (even myself) that they have enjoyed sex before. So what if there was one that enjoyed it SO MUCH that they had to seek it out as much as they could. They could not masturbate because it is not the same feeling. They do it for the FEELING, it's like if they just had their eyes closed the whole time. It has nothing to do with attraction, it's just that picking someone would be the weird part, yes, which is why I said they may have their own reasons that I might not even be able to think of. I get that there are asexuals like this, however I have met many sexual people like this (who just love sex for the sake of the feelings it gives them but form no bonds to the people they have it with and don't find them aesthetically attractive etc.. it's literally just the feelings of sex they want, no matter who it's with ) .. I think if this is going to come under the label of asexual, personally, that asexuality is experienced by a *lot more* of the population than only 1% .. like 15% at the very least, probably more. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Well actually AVEN defines sexual attraction AS the desire partnered sex. So according to AVEN an asexual is a person who has no desire for partnered sexual contact (regardless of the level of one's libido) Sounds to me like *all* this person (the one the OP described) would be experiencing *is* sexual attraction (the desire for partnered sex with other people) but little to no aesthetic and sensual attraction (ie this person doesn't find people "hot" in a way that makes them want to get close to them intimately) People need to remember that as far as AVENs definition goes, asexuality is not about whether or not you find people hot in a sexually arousing way (because lots of asexuals experience this without desiring actual partnered sex with said people) it's about whether or not you have an innate desire for partnered sex with other people. If someone feels they couldn't happily live a life that was free of partnered sex because they just love sex so much, but they never find people 'hot', then they need to consider whether they are an asexual or really just a sexual who doesn't experience aesthetic and sensual attraction. I would call this sexual desire rather than sexual attraction, because sexual desire can be directed at a lot of people including persons who aren't attractive. I think it shows that hypersexual persons don't have as much sexual attraction as sexual desire, as they aren't picky persons to say the least.I can imagine some people being asexual and hypersexual (which mainly refers to libido). Some sexual acts can't be done alone (oral...). Some persons aren't aroused by masturbation. Yeah I just think I've met so many sexual people like this, why bother even having the label asexual if asexuals do want and desire and need the act of partnered sex to be happy? I understand some asexuals love the feelings of sex, but if they had to go the rest of their lives without it they wouldn't be upset at all.. but once you're saying someone *needs* partnered sex and cannot be happy without it because masturbation just cannot satisfy them sexually, well you're describing a huge bunch of the sexual people I have met in my life, so if this is asexual, then there a LOT more asexual people than just 1%.. I'd go so far as to say it's relatively common. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 It's possible to enjoy or even want sex without needing it, anyway. I don't know if there are many people who do, but I know that I'm one of these persons. I could imagine that somebody could have a lot of sex without needing it, just because they want a life full of pleasure, in the same way as most people can enjoy alcohol and even getting drunk without being addicted to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Possibly with the likes of sex addiction, it's not impossible for an ace to become addicted to solely the pleasure sensations of sex. Also possibly if "Nymphomaniac" could mean just extremely high libido, it's again not impossible to think an asexual could be just mastrubating a lot maybe... Also maybe amongst Ace Fets, it's not impossible to think one can be a fetishistic nymphomaniac. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 It's possible to enjoy or even want sex without needing it, anyway. I don't know if there are many people who do, but I know that I'm one of these persons. I could imagine that somebody could have a lot of sex without needing it, just because they want a life full of pleasure, in the same way as most people can enjoy alcohol and even getting drunk without being addicted to it. Yeah but if that was the case, you could go the rest of your life without alcohol or getting drunk and that wouldn't cause you any emotional turmoil. I meant that an asexual can enjoy partnered sex, but they won't be thrown into emotional turmoil at the prospect of living a sexless life for whatever reason (ie they are happy to masturbate to satisfy sexual arousal for the rest of their life if presented with that prospect). Whereas someone who does *need* sex to the extent that they are severely depressed by the idea of never having it again, even emotionally distraught at the prospect of a sexless life, regardless of whether or not they find other people attractive or form bonds with them or anything, well.. that describes many of the sexual people I have known in my life. Also in reply to your comment: Do you mean that when you do not have a deep bond with someone, you still desire and enjoy sex (without *needing* it) but it's not until you are in a relationship that you *need* sex to be happy?.. or do you mean that you can enjoy and desire the sensations of sex only once you are in a relationship? sorry for the random question I just see that you identify as demisexual so I would think that a demisexual would experience it differently from an asexual anyway (once they have formed a deep bond with someone at least)?? it's fine if that's too personal you don't have to answer it, I just got confused over that point. As to this thread: Nymphomaniac specifically describes a woman who is addicted to seeking partnered sex with multiple people.. she may not even be aroused by the sex or the person, but craves that sex bond to such an extent that she even puts herself into self-destructive scenarios just to get partnered sex (the movie ''nymphomaniac'' i thought described what it's like quite well) it's just a compulsive obsession with having lots and lots and lots of partnered sex. A high libido is different, that can be dealt with through masturbation alone, nymphomania is characterized by the obsession for partnered sex, not just having a high libido. So sure, I guess someone can be asexual and be a nymphomaniac, but many nymphomaniacs are like that sooo we would be expanding asexuality to include a greater percentage of the population than previously thought. I do agree with many speculations that the percentage of asexuality is higher than the 1% that studies have indicated... I mean, natural asexuality even occurs in about 3% of male rats and about 12.5% (sometimes more) of male rams.. that's showing no interest in partnered sexual activity despite having identical hormone levels to animals of their species who do show interest in partnered sexual activity. However I think if we are going to go so far as to say that an asexual can be someone who cannot live a happy life without partnered sex because partnered sex is something they fundamentally *need* for sexual satisfaction (masturbation alone is not enough, they *need* another person there, they feel that sex is very important in a relationship because it's a fundamental part of emotional satisfaction in a relationship etc) then we would be driving the percentage of asexuality up to like 15 or 20% (probably more) of the population,,, so yeah, that's fine.. but meh.. I just don't really see the point in even having a label for asexuality if that's the case. Just my opinion though I understand that others may disagree Also we are taking into account that being an asexual nymphomaniac would be completely disregarding AVENs definition of asexuality, which is ''a person who has no desire for partnered sexual contact'' (EDIT: just for clarification that's what AVEN defines sexual attraction as, so it's not written at the top of the page, but that's what they mean by what is written up the top there) but yeah, there is so much debate over the definition that I guess it's best to just leave that part out :P Link to post Share on other sites
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