Can I become an ace?

[KingNoOne2014]

On Sunday, November 16, 2014 I typed "asexual" into the white search bar into the top left corner of Facebook and found an asexual flag, a rectangle made up of four rectangles, from top to bottom it's black, grey, white, and purple. I'm 21 years of age. I've been very interested in asexuality since high school. I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never had intercourse. I have masturbated and viewed pornography since I was seven years old. There have been irregular or sporadic periods of time when I didn't do either of those things, but I don't think I've ever been clean for a full year. Friday, September 12, 2014 is when I first entered and started living at a certain Christian college in Florida that's about thirty minutes away from my house and I haven't masturbated or viewed pornography since then. Thank God for that victory. I was born heterosexual. There's a gorgeous young woman from Georgia that I had very strong feelings for and she rejected me. I was rejected on the afternoon of Wednesday, November 19, 2014 on Facebook. She was very kind about it, but it still hurt a lot. All day I've been feeling and looking like Marvin (played by Warwick Davis) from Garth Jennings' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy because I've been rejected. I hate that feeling of pain, and I would like to be put out of my misery by becoming completely devoid of sexual desires and feelings. I think I'm pretty attractive. I've got kind of an athletic body type. I played American football since I was a child and I did a lot of weightlifting a lot in high school. I used to be really, really, shy, now I've gotten better socially. I hated being as shy as I was with a passion and I equally hated it when people said that I was shy. A couple people here have said that I'm quiet. That still angers me, but not as much as being called shy would. I know that I have an issue, complaining about it or pointing it out isn't helping me. I tend to avoid people who point out my flaws or imperfections like that. I do struggle with social anxiety. I'm an introvert. I have issues with carrying on conversations. That's probably the main or principal reason that I never had a girlfriend. Like I said before I haven't had issues with lust or stimulating myself recently, but I have had issues with feeling romantic feelings from time to time. I wish to be whole and rid myself of all romantic and sexual feelings toward either gender. Sometimes I envy people who are legitimately and totally asexual, and I would love to meet one of those people in person.

I have some questions for you. Are there any drugs I can take to help me become asexual? Any tips for creating zero sexual attraction to either gender? How is this connected to the LGBT community? Is it okay for me to identify as asexual because I would love to be asexual? Bob Proctor is the chairman and co-founder of the Proctor Gallagher Institute and he said, "There is no problem outside of you that is superior to the power within you." He also said, "The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves." The only limitations are self-imposed limitations. There's two quotes by an ancient Roman poet named Virgil. He was mentioned in Dante's epic poem The Divine Comedy. He said "They are able because they think they are able," and "They can conquer who believe they can." We can do anything we put our mind to so if we wanted to become asexual we certainly can. What do the colors of the asexual flag represent? What is Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)? Thank you.

[SuperHorace]

I was reading and I had to stop because THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS NOT BY GARTH JENNINGS. IT'S DOUGLAS ADAMS.

*We apologize for strong fandom glands. They can be rude sometimes*

[Philip027]

^ he was talking about the movie, not the book, which is indeed made by Garth Jennings, as per wikipedia:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a 2005 British-American comic science fiction film directed by Garth Jennings, based on the book of the same name by Douglas Adams.

[Guest]

I suppose you could not technically become an asexual as that describes you natural state. There are rare cases where people are orientation fluid and it changes without them expecting it, but that is highly uncommon and not exclusive to asexuals. You could become a celibate and perhaps take drugs to reduce your hormones to lessen your libido though, although I recommend trying to overcome what makes you not want to be who you naturally are over trying to change yourself.

If you even wanted to meet an asexual there are meet ups, many of which are posted on this site. I plan to go to this one: http://www.asexualoutreach.org/

I hope things get better for you. I know it is hard dealing with these things, but being strong and keeping hope can go a long ways! If you ever need somebody to chat/vent to for any reason, you can always PM me.

[eched]

I'm sorry to say, but you have misunderstood what it means to be asexual.

If you were ace, you would have still likely had a crush on that girl and she would have still rejected you. You would still be in just as much pain as you are in right now. Asexual is not a shield from feeling drawn to other people. A lot of asexual people still feel other forms of attraction, like romantic attraction. So, we can still get crushes, so, being ace wouldn't fix your problem.

What you have seemed to confused us with is being aromantic, which is when you don't feel romantic attraction. Now, some asexual people are indeed aromantic, a lot of asexual people on here sure are, but a lot of sexual people are aromantic too. Asexual does not equal being aromantic. But, even if you were aromantic likely you would STILL be here do to a girl rejecting you cause aromantic people still can get squishes(think of it as wanting a friend really bad) and still be drawn to and attracted to specific people.

So, I'm sorry, but us asexual and aromantic people aren't given some romance shield that protects against heart break and being ace wont make things better for you. You'll still be stuck in the same spot.

And to add to all of this, no, you can't make yourself asexual. Asexual is related to the LGBTQ because just like being gay, it's a sexual orientation that you tend to be born with. Now every now and then you bump into someone saying their sex is fluid(changes over time) and they became ace, but you still can't control this. It's still something you were 'born' into(only in that case I guess you would say you were born into being fluid). There is no drug you can take to make yourself ace because it's not related to sex drive. IE. Having a high sex drive and masturbating does not make you not asexual. Many asexual people have high sex drive. We just aren't sexually drawn to other people, that though doesn't make us sexually void. Some asexual people are even into stuff like S&M.

And to add to this, you seem to be very mad at yourself for your sex drive. You really shouldn't be. Nobody should be ashamed of their sexuality(as long as it's something that's not obviously questionable). You should not be mad at yourself for being sexual. You can't really turn it off and it can be VERY unhealthy to try to. That's walking down a road of self harm that isn't pretty.

I would say what you should be doing is asking why your sexuality bothers you and try to comes to terms with it. Saying, oh I'm better cause I don't masturbate anymore, is not a healthy statement because you are saying that action is somehow wrong. You should be saying, oh I'm better now because I respect my sexuality(by masturbating or not masturbating, whatever seems to work best).

So, I'm sorry, we can't fix your love life, and also, I'm not going to help out in pulling down your sex drive. Sometimes you have to accept yourself, and though that maybe hard, often it's the best action.

[Guest]

Nobody should be ashamed of their sexuality(as long as it's something that's not obviously questionable).

Sorry to nit pick a little here, but I would like to explain why this bothers me if that is okay. You make great points I just could not help but notice this.

I thing nobody should be ashamed of their sexuality no matter what, because they can not pick it. Sure, they should not act on certain sexualities (such as pedophilia) but that does not mean they should be ashamed. It bothers me that people want to punish others for something they have no control over, especially when they know not to act on it.

Anyway sorry. Back to the discussion at hand, I just need to say that.

[R_1]

Transitioning sexual orientation only happens to a very small amount of people and none of those were a choice. As far as drugs go, I wouldn't try to change orientation with drugs cause at most you can achieve is temporary state of asexuality (A big if) and no harmful side effect(A big if), and most likely, you'll experience harmful side effect rather than sexual orientation changes. In my case, I can be returned to my former heterosexual state for less than 12 hours with surgery and anesthesia (It did altered my orientation for maybe 6 hours), but I will never advise this to anyone as it will most likely fail for 99.9999% of people out there.

[eched]

I'm not trying to punish and I'm of course not saying one can pick their sexuality. It's just simply, if the person fully accepts a questionable sexuality, they may, over time, become more ok on acting on it. And I don't necessarily mean going out and attacking people. We sadly live in a world where do to the internet child porn and bestiality can be right at someone's finger tips, making it a bit easy to give into a questionable sexuality.

Now, it is indeed questionable the best way to respond to this, and maybe shame isn't the best way, but you would for sure have to tell yourself not to or seek out help if it gets to bad.

ANYWAYS the main point is in most cases shame against your sexuality tends to be a bad thing and I hope the original poster isn't being to hard on themselves.

[Philip027]

Are there any drugs I can take to help me become asexual?

Technically speaking, probably not. There's stuff that might reduce libido but that's not the same thing, and it's variable as to how well it would even work.

Any tips for creating zero sexual attraction to either gender?

Nope. The mind wants what the mind wants.

How is this connected to the LGBT community?

It's connected in the sense that we're minorities. I personally feel like asexuality is something a lot different from what they generally focus on, though.

Is it okay for me to identify as asexual because I would love to be asexual?

Most people here would say that you can call yourself whatever you want. I personally say that doing such a thing belittles the purposes of the terms. Identity is about what you are, not what you'd like to be.

Bob Proctor is the chairman and co-founder of the Proctor Gallagher Institute and he said, "There is no problem outside of you that is superior to the power within you." He also said, "The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves." The only limitations are self-imposed limitations. There's two quotes by an ancient Roman poet named Virgil. He was mentioned in Dante's epic poem The Divine Comedy. He said "They are able because they think they are able," and "They can conquer who believe they can." We can do anything we put our mind to so if we wanted to become asexual we certainly can.

I've personally always felt the whole "we can do anything we put our minds to" thinking was bullshit. I was fed that line from a very young age and that caused me to undergo a whole lot of emotional turmoil growing up when I realized it isn't nearly the universal and all-encompassing statement it proclaims itself to be, and it ended up shaking up my entire core beliefs on how life and the world at large functioned. It was like finding out Santa Claus doesn't actually exist, but far worse.

The limitations one faces in life are certainly not only self-imposed. Secondly, there *ARE* instances where, no matter how hard you try, or how often you try, you will fail. If everyone could do anything they wanted if only they just "wanted it badly enough", this world would be a lot less of a crapsack than it often is.

[WünderBâhr]

Overall, your post reads as a sex-/romance-/attraction-repulsed one due to the heartbreak you have experienced. As a previous poster touched on, asexuality would not guarantee an exemption for you from ever having to experiencing that sort of heartbreak again. Asexuals are just as capable of having libidos, romantic relationships and platonic relationships as any sexual person.

I'm sorry that you have had to experience the pain of rejection, but asexuals can also experience that as well. Perhaps there has been some confusion over what asexuality actually is, which is something that is discussed and addressed in the threads you may find on AVEN. I would recommend that you read through the variety of resources we have available in the AVENWiki and the FAQs.

Any tips for creating zero sexual attraction to either gender?

I really can't think of anything to suggest, or if anything should be suggested... That's really not what AVEN is about.

How is this connected to the LGBT community?

As above posters have pointed to, asexuality would be considered a minority and is connected by common issues also facing the LGBT community. However, there is both agreement and disagreement on whether or not asexuality should be incorporated into the LGBTQ+ acronym or part of the "identity" of the LGBTQ+ community.

Is it okay for me to identify as asexual because I would love to be asexual?

To be quite honest and frank, my answer to this would be and is no. Not because I would personally be in a position to judge another person's identification, but as an asexual, this question comes off a bit dismissively. (A)Sexual orientation is a complicated subject to discuss, but generally orientation is viewed in the same light as inclination, or predisposition, where it would be considered a natural tendency or attitude/identification. It's not just about being shy/introverted, as those are traits not shared by every asexual. And it doesn't just come down to behavior, either, as there are asexuals who participate in masturbation or have sex with partners to show affection or for the purposes of beginning a family. There is controversy and debate within the overall asexual community about asexuality having been 'caused' by medication or other factors, but nothing definitive has come of it.

What do the colors of the asexual flag represent?

Information about the asexual flag and what the colors represent can be found here.

What is Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)?

As quoted, here:

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was founded in 2001 with two distinct goals: creating public acceptance and discussion of asexuality and facilitating the growth of an asexual community. Since that time we have grown to host the world’s largest asexual community, serving as an informational resource for people who are asexual and questioning, their friends and families, academic researchers and the press. AVEN members throughout the world regularly engage in visibility projects, included but not limited to distributing informational pamphlets, leading workshops, arranging local meetups and speaking to interested press. The AVEN community centers around the web forum, which provides a safe space for asexual and questioning people and their partners, friends and families to discuss their experiences.

Edited November 21, 2014 by byanyothername

[Kandi Ace]

Sometimes I envy people who are legitimately and totally asexual, and I would love to meet one of those people in person.

Uh, why?

1. We do feel romantic attraction and want to be with people.
2. Not having sexual attraction has ruined all my relationships in the past.
3. I often have to deal with people who do not understand what asexual is, and people who want to fix me, call me a tease, or a prude.

Are there any drugs I can take to help me become asexual?

Again, why? Any drugs could have side affects you do not want. Plus, why would you want to not feel sexual attraction? Just because you where turned down once, and dealt with an addiction doesn't mean you should get rid of it. You will meet a lady one day that you wil want to be with, and who will want to be with you, and those drugs will hurt that.

Any tips for creating zero sexual attraction to either gender?

Why? Sexual attraction creates a bond when you are with someone that is amazing. I may not understand that because I am asexual, but many sexual people hve explained it. That is something you can experience and should not want to get rid of.

Is it okay for me to identify as asexual because I would love to be asexual?

No, because that would be a lie to people.

Look, dude. I understand the addiction, trust me, I UNDERSTAND. BUt wanting to become asexual is NOT a good idea. We go through many struggles, in relationships, with friends, family, and in general. It's not a cake walk. Not feeling sexual attraction makes our lives hard in another way.

[Member54880]

I understand that you never want sex, and that it's difficult having a body working against you. It's understandable that you find your sexuality to be a burden, because you never want to act on it. That itself isn't a problem. What you'd want to look into is how to constructively cope with this.

There's still not a lot of information on this, unfortunately, but I've known people in situations like yours. What I can say at the moment is to not let your celibacy be motivated by shame (because that can be self-defeating and backfire), let it be motivated by knowing that you don't want sex, and that you feel like celibacy is the best option for you.

[Sally]

It is no more possible to become asexual than it is to become homosexual, or bisexual, or heterosexual. No change of attitude will do it, nor will drugs do it. It is not a choice. Just be who you are as best you can, and don't blame yourself for how you feel.

[Smmk]

It is not possible to change your sexual orientation. You can however choose to become celibate if you wish.

[Welsh Ace]

You cannot become asexual, anymore than you can become hetrosexual, homosexual or bisexual or any other kind of sexuality. It is something you just are.

I am very sorry that you are having trouble but I do not believe that foresaking your own sexuality is the way to go. Social anxiety is a very difficult condition to live with, but just because you struggle with social anxiety doesnt mean you should try to stop being hetrosexual. No-one should be a shamed of their sexuality.

[Ricecream-man]

Right there with everybody. Sex-repulsed and asexual are two completely different things. While a person can indeed be both, they are not tied together.

As for becoming asexual, the only way I could think of that would even make it remotely possible would be the complete removal of your male reproductive organs which would likely result in a loss of a libido and a major reduction of sexual attraction. The two aren't the same, but I feel like it might reduce your level of sexual attraction at least.

Also, it seems that you are confusing aromantic with asexual. Aromanatic is the orientation stating that an individual has no desire or attraction towards anyone else. I wouldn't know about that and hopefully somebody can help you.

I would also ask that you not refer to yourself as asexual. You're technically right, you can call yourself whatever you want to, but that doesn't make it accurate. If I want to be another race, I can't start calling myself that race just because I feel like it. It's something you're born with, plain and simple.

[xserpx]

I'm not really sure why you want to be aromantic asexual from what you've said here, aside from the pain of being rejected. Do you think there's something inherently wrong with the way you feel, some sort of sexual orientation dysphoria perhaps, or is it just the disappointment getting you down?

It's a shame you've been rejected, but from what you've said you seem to have a lot of good qualities and are trying to better yourself, which is always something to be proud of.

I also don't think aromantic asexuality is inherently better or easier than heteroromantic heterosexuality, it's just different and comes with its own set of drawbacks. For example, very few people will sympathize with you when your friend ditches you to spend time with their SO, because maintaining sexual/romantic relationships is infinitely more important to most people than 'mere' friendship. That means any relationship you choose to make (unless it's with another aroace) has a large chance of becoming overshadowed by the sexual/romantic desires of your friends. I don't feel particularly zen or at peace in my mind, a lot of the time I just feel alienated from society.

[R_1]

Right there with everybody. Sex-repulsed and asexual are two completely different things. While a person can indeed be both, they are not tied together.

As for becoming asexual, the only way I could think of that would even make it remotely possible would be the complete removal of your male reproductive organs which would likely result in a loss of a libido and a major reduction of sexual attraction. The two aren't the same, but I feel like it might reduce your level of sexual attraction at least.

Actually, since sexual attraction is something that exists within the brain. Anything that can alters the brain in relations with the parts that involves sexual attraction or the brain has some conditions by itself that would eventually alter one's orientation at some point in one's life could have the potential to change sexual orientation. It is possible? Yes. It is likely? No. Drugs, brain injuries, pre-set genetic conditions, and so on may have a effect on one's orientation, but it's extremely unlikely for one's orientation to change or even temporarily change as a result of those, and areas affected at the overwhelming majority of the time are not related to sexual orientation.

There's some few studies out there that actually hints at the existence of transitional sexual orientation which is not the same thing as fluid, but the state of transitioning is similar to those of a fluid person, it just that once that person experienced altered orientation, it's very likely his orientation remained changed for life and technically that person isn't fluid in the sense that his orientation will always change.

[KingNoOne2014]

I'll tell people the truth about my sexuality. I won't refer to myself as asexual. I know you don't want me to create more confusion on asexuality. You want clarity or lucidity or the matter so I'll let you keep things clear. I am heterosexual. I was born heterosexual. My body has a tendency to direct sexual desire toward the opposite sex. I've dealt with an addiction and I've experienced heartbreak. I wanted a defense, a protection, a shield, for those things in the future. I'm writing this now over Thanksgiving break. The college I'm going to will be closed from Tuesday, November 26, 2014 to Sunday, November 30, 2014. It will also be closed from Friday, December 12 to Sunday, January 4. A friend of mine texted me that we have to be back before 5 PM on Monday. My mom works five days a week at Walmart and she doesn't have to work on Mondays so she'll be able to return me to school. I like my mom more than my dad to be honest with you. I've always did and I still do now. The things that I am thankful for about going home for Thanksgiving break is that my mom bought one new pair of shoes and two new jackets for me from Walmart and that I was able to go to Barnes and Noble in Wesley Chapel and read some very good books. We have an exam on the book of Acts this upcoming Tuesday. We have a verse quiz virtually every Tuesday. We have to memorize four verses and two of them will be on the quiz. We're not told which two will be on the quiz so it would be most advantageous for us if we study all four of the verses. Our next verse quiz is on Tuesday, December 9, 2014. The verses we have to memorize are Philippians 1:6, Joshua 1:8, 1 Peter 2:2-3, and 1 John 5:14-15.

I would like to know what the difference is between aromantic and asexual is. They seem to be synonymous. If you're asexual, if you have no sexual attraction for either gender, then it seems impossible to have romantic feelings for either gender. Thank you for your time. :)

[Ficulnean]

As everyone has pointed out, being asexual would leave you with romantic attraction. How else is it so hard for asexuals to figure out what they are in the first place? And being aromantic asexual would leave you with squishes. The thing about human relationships is that you cannot remove the ability for them to hurt.

I'd welcome you nonetheless to browse through these forums, maybe the hormone related ones, see what this is like, and stay on as an asexual partner. However, read the asexual elitism forum first. You say you've "been clean" for however long. Sex, and most certainly wanting people, are not 'dirty' things.

[Sally]

I would like to know what the difference is between aromantic and asexual is. They seem to be synonymous. If you're asexual, if you have no sexual attraction for either gender, then it seems impossible to have romantic feelings for either gender. Thank you for your time. :)

Romance, and romantic feelings, don't necessarily mean sexual feelings. For sexuals, romance usually includes sex. For asexuals, it does not.

[littlepersonparadox]

Ok, the thing is for romantic orientations and sexual orientations are two compleatly sperate things. For most people they line up perfectly with their sexuality, being the reason why the idea of romantic orientations are so darn unheard of. Being asexual doesn't meant you don't desire romantic things like walks in the park or holding hands and calling each other sweety etc.

Just the fact that there is a idea of romantic orientations show thath they can mix and match.

[Guest]

When it comes to forcibly changing your sexuality I'd say that is impossible. Sure there are some truly sexually fluid people (though I'm given to believe they are very rare) .. and sure you *could* remove your penis and balls (as another poster mentioned) but I read that many animals who are fully castrated continue to display sexual behaviors and desires (just without actually being able to *have* sex) which says to me that sexual orientation and the desire for sex goes deeper than just having genitals or not..

Do you think many asexuals have not tried to force themselves to be sexual? Because I know *many* who have, and it certainly didn't work for them, or they would be identifying as hetero/homo/bi/pansexual now instead of asexual. I personally spent at least 5 whole (probably more) years trying to force myself to be 'sexual' (even though at the time I didn't know asexuality was a thing, I just knew something was 'wrong' with me that I had to 'fix') .. I truly believed in mind power, law of attraction etc (still do in many cases, and I think Bob Proctor is pretty awesomene) but no matter how hard I forced myself to believe I desired and loved and wanted sex,no matter how many sexual situations I put myself in to try to "live the fantasy and so make it a reality", I could not force myself to 'be sexual' ..There was just always this MASSIVE part missing during every sexual encounter, and not just the pleasure (which was never there) even if I was with extremely attractive men and/or women, I just 'felt nothing'..There was no feelings of "oh I love this I want this it's so fun I'm so enjoying being with this person" everything was fine-ish until the clothes came off, then it was just "meh,not interested in this, bored!" and once I developed feelings for someone and got into a long-term relationship, it only got worse because I started *hating* myself for not wanting what seemed to come naturally to every other person in the human population... I couldn't even enjoy or desire sex with my *partner* despite knowing how happy that would have made him (I did give him sex every day, but he was never happy with it because I couldn't *enjoy* it the way other people did)


no it's not repulsion in any sense of the word, just an utter lack of interest in partnered sexual activity, and an inability to enjoy it, *no matter what*

So yeah, I can personally attest to the whole 'mind over matter' thing NOT working when it comes to changing ones sexuality. It just doesn't happen. And just to be clear I'm not low libido, I have a perfectly healthy, fully functioning libido, I get aroused and I masturbate (which certainly didn't help my confusion when it came to trying to figure out why I had no desire for partnered sex) but whatever it is that makes a homo/hetero/bi/pansexual person sexual, I just don't have it.

I *do* believe however that you *may* be able to teach yourself to love celibacy as opposed to being able to change your sexual orientation, however I know for me I could never teach myself to 'love' partenred sexual activity, no matter how much I wanted to want it (ie for the sake of pleasing a partner).. but maybe teaching oneself the opposite would be easier? I have no idea.

And as has been mentioned repeatedly, asexuals do still experience romantic attraction/want romantic relationships etc.. being asexual doesn't automatically make us totally resistant to pain and relationship disappointment.. actually, I think many asexuals experience a *shit load* of pain in 'regular' romantic relationships because we are unable to desire the sex that so many sexual people feel is fundamental to a healthy relationship, so we end up in relationships that crash and burn and we often *completely* blame ourselves for not being 'good enough' etc etc.. believe me, for many asexual people, asexuality is *not* an 'easy path' but it's what we have and we can't change it, so we do out best to make the most of it (eventually anyway)

Other than that, other posters have covered this whole topic excellently

EDIT: just saw your latest question. To answer, sex and romance are *very* different things, they just go hand in hand for many sexual people. I now have an asexual romantic partner, and we are *exactly* like many other romantic couples; we are deeply romantic, sensual, loving, intimate, we are even very kinky (yes there are kinky asexuals!)..we just don't have sex with each other and have absolutely no desire to. For us, it's like tennis.. some couples love playing tennis together, some don't. We personally have never, ever enjoyed tennis, so why would we bother playing it together? We'd much rather kiss and cuddle and be sensual together to express our romantic love for each other, than play tennis. Just because other couples play tennis, it doesn't mean we have to :P

[Sally]

^^ Everything that Pan-Ficto said.

[hdfskjfsdshdsajfhaksd]

I think everyone else has said all that has needed said. I would just sound like a broken record if I said my thoughts. :)

Although, I wanted to comment on one thing. The way you phrased stuff, it makes it sound like aces are some otherworldly being. Like, similar to how someone would describe wanting to be a fairy so they could fly. We're not really superhumans or anything; we're just normal people with a certain sexual orientation. I guess I'm flattered (maybe??), but yeah ^^'

[IanH]

Sorry to tell you, but if there's no medication that can "fix" an asexual, then there's no medication that can allow you to "become" asexual. Sexuality IS fluid though, so if you truly want to be Asexual, you might be lucky enough to lose your sexual attraction overtime, but some advice from me, embrace who you are. My experience living as an asexual is depressing.

1st, worst problem I have had is that when I came out to my girlfriend, I said I'm not interested in a sexual relationship. But I fear that she doesn't know what I mean when I say this. I worry that my girlfriend will dump me when I tell her that the "no-sex" thing is forever. So, it's rather terrifying for me, and I feel like if I marry her, I'd be a burden.

2nd, I'm very lonely. Surround me with 99 other people, and in that group, statistics indicate that I'm literally the only asexual there. There are 99 sexual people there, and only 1 asexual (me). This is because we're literally 1 in 100. We're such a small community, that visibility is almost a necessity. I try to spread awareness online, and a lot of the times, I get the whole "Bullshit!" argument. "Everybody wants sex and you know it!"

3rd, just like the gay community, people don't understand our sexuality and some don't even care to understand. They keep saying things like, "Oh, it's just a phase. You'll grow out of it." or "Don't insult yourself. You're attractive." and many other things. They also assume that we're really celibate. They also say that we're "missing out." *scoffs* Missing out?

4th, come out to your friends with the asexuality label, and just like gays and lesbians go through, you have to worry about "Corrective rape." The perpetrator says "You're not asexual and I'll prove it."

5th, Catholic Church teaches that if you're Asexual, you cannot get married because marriage requires sex and is meant for procreation. I ended up seeking refuge in the United Methodist Church, and my overly catholic grandmother has become slightly verbally hostile because of it.

So, I can definitely say being asexual has its benefits, but it's not without its flaws. I'd say just embrace being heterosexual because people of that sexual orientation have it the best. Straight is the norm whereas everybody else is trying to get acceptance from the heterosexuals.