Jump to content

friend problems


Valja

Recommended Posts

Ok, here's the problem that drives me crazy for a few weeks now:

I am in 2 friend groups at uni and in one of them we are just three. So, I hang out with this three all the time and I like them, we have lots of things in common and all, but something isn't quite right. I was first friends with let's just say Ana and we talked about our dark and painful past, I even told her I'm ace and she was accepting and said she understands me and talked a lot.

Everything was great with Ana and one day we met let's just say Mia and we talked for hours in the street and we started hanging out. We had sleepover parties and went to anime fan clubs (because we're anime geeks), but Mia now makes me feel horrible, she doesn't even talk with me, I always talk though I have anxiety, she has anxiety too but at least I try. I talk and ask questions and make jokes and she just makes a forced smile and says nothing, in that moment I feel like a joke, a freak. It's weird because she won my friendship with kindness, when I was down she hugged me and comforted me, now is like I'm a third wheel at a bicycle. Ana hasn't change, we're the same and she can't see, I try to say I have other plans and I can't go with them but they're always staying on my head and I give it another try. When I'm with all three I feel alone because Mia speaks only with her and smiles at her and I'm thinking what am I doing there. I thought about it, I mean why does she want me with them so badly if she doesn't like me and it crossed through my mind that she wanted to be friends only with Ana and she used me to get to her, because they are this Naruto super crazy fans with oh, it's ending, I'm gonna die and I'm like big deal. Other thought of mine was maybe I'm too cold, sometimes I feel I have a warm heart but a robot body and I can't feel or the fact that I haven't told her my past because it's hard and too painful for me.

Today she did it again (lol like the song oops...), I invited them to the cinema to watch a movie and they said yes, I asked them several times if it's ok, if they want to do something else, they said it's perfect, well with two hours before the movie Mia says she can't come because she's not feeling well, maybe she told the truth but she doesn't want to come with us not even Saturday saying she meets her boyfriend. I even thought it's because we are so alike that we can't get along, we have anxiety and we both treat other people with high respect, friends too, we hold the door so all the people enter or exit and we wait until one of us gives up and exits/enters first.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to go on like this because when I make a friend it means I am able to do anything for him, and maybe I should let go now before I will suffer even more and I don't want to lose Ana who is the best.

Sorry for the long post, if you are bored I may have bored you even more or made you laugh which is better

Edit: I told Ana everything and she said she feels that way with Mia too sometimes, it's frustrating

Link to post
Share on other sites

Be direct. If you have Mia's phone number, call her, tell her you have something to ask her alone, or why not, you can even tell her on the phone : "You seem to not want to talk to me much, why ?" Maybe the answer will hurt, but at least, you will know.

Maybe something makes her feel uncomfortable to talk to you, who knows. People can have strange reasons to not want to talk to another person in particular.

Or maybe she wanted to be friends with you and she now thinks that despite the fact that your personalities are similar, they aren't really compatible. It can happen and you can't change it. Some persons want to be with people who are very different from them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd agree with Rising Sun. Be direct, honest and ask about it. It'll be awkward but there's no point in suffering in silence.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Direct talk is always better. But if you feel awkward, talk wiht Ana how you feel, she can be bridge between two of you and smooth out the things

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks guys for the answers, I don't know, like you said it will be awkward, I think I'll try to avoid the meetings for now, see how it is and after that I'll talk directly. Today everything was really ok but I won't make myself hopes

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...