CrazyGuyRose Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I'v only known of asexuality and AVEN for about a month or two now, so a lot of the terms are brand new to me. That includes 'romantic orientation'. Before learning about asexuality I never thought much to classify/distinguish types of attraction before, like sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, etc. And when I first learned of these, I thought "ok, pretty sure I'm a heterosexual and heteroromantic male". But things may be changing. Like a number of asexuals first finding out about asexuality for the first time, it felt like a relief to see all of these aspects as options and to just be free to be whoever I want instead of thinking "this is/isn't what others are doing" So now I'm realizing that I'm relaxing into doing what I want without caring what others think. And I've been flirting with a guy friend of mine and he's returning the flirting (at least I think it's flirting?). More so than usual; that goes beyond our standard level of sex talk and closeness. And I don't think it's of a sexual attraction either, as far as I see it. I don't plan on doing anything serious beyond where our relationship is now, partially because he's already in a relationship. And all this has led me to think I just might be biromantic. At least as I see things now.I'm not entirely sure why I'm making this thread. Felt like sharing this with at least someone who might understand, I guess. Anyone else gone through something like this? Also, I feel like maybe I wasn't always biromantic. I've only viewed guys as friends at the very most in the past, but just recently this change has happened. Maybe it's just this one guy.... I don't know.... Maybe just time will help sort things out in my head.... Hmmmm..... Link to post Share on other sites
TheLandsBeyond Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 When I began questioning, I was relieved to discover that romantic and sexual attraction were separate things, as well! For a while I identified as biromantic heterosexual, but then I realized that I only assumed I was sexual because I'd never really thought about it before, and I've realized that I'm technically panromantic. And lots of people experience shifts in sexuality throughout their lifetime, so you're definitely not alone :) Discovering AVEN really opened up a whole world of terms and labels for me, too. I love how you can choose whether or not to label yourself, but if you do, there are so many terms you can use to describe yourself that you can feel connected with others of the same label/s without forcing yourself into a box or losing your sense of individuality. And there's nothing wrong with those labels shifting over time, either! Link to post Share on other sites
Cimmerian Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 So now I'm realizing that I'm relaxing into doing what I want without caring what others think. And I've been flirting with a guy friend of mine and he's returning the flirting (at least I think it's flirting?). More so than usual; that goes beyond our standard level of sex talk and closeness. And I don't think it's of a sexual attraction either, as far as I see it. I don't plan on doing anything serious beyond where our relationship is now, partially because he's already in a relationship. And all this has led me to think I just might be biromantic. At least as I see things now. I'm not entirely sure why I'm making this thread. Felt like sharing this with at least someone who might understand, I guess. Anyone else gone through something like this? Also, I feel like maybe I wasn't always biromantic. I've only viewed guys as friends at the very most in the past, but just recently this change has happened. Maybe it's just this one guy.... I don't know.... Maybe just time will help sort things out in my head.... Hmmmm..... I feel like I know what you mean except my situation was reversed. I had always thought I was heterosexual then one day I just found myself watching a female friend and wanting to be closer to her than my usual friends but never to a sexual level. After a lot of debating with myself I realized I was biromantic. I wondered if it was just her because I had never been interested in women before and although it wasn't common for a while, I later found myself romantically attracted to women. Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebird Heart Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I know these feels! Well, to an extent, anyway. I'm a girl, and it wasn't until this past summer after I turned 25 that I finally began to realize--or accept, I guess--the fact that I'm asexual. I've never been interested in a physical relationship with anyone at all--in fact, the very thought terrifies me enough that I've made it a point to break up with every one of my four boyfriends two weeks into the relationship because I knew there was going to be far too much pressure to 'get physical'. And each time, I wasn't particularly sad about it, as if we hadn't really established an emotional connection, either. On the other hand, my two best female friends have been the ones to make me feel anywhere close to broken hearted when we got into big fights or moved far away from each other. It always confused me, because I didn't ever get the urge to kiss or have sex with either of them, but when our friendships spiraled downward it was the most emotional pain I can ever remember experiencing. One of them was my roommate for two years; she was pansexual and biromantic, and even asked me if I would consider dating her when we first met, but I laughed it off because I knew I would never want to have sex with her (I was convinced I was heterosexual, you see), and she's a VERY sexual person. But when we finally moved to separate countries after two years living together, I was convinced a part of me died inside. Anyway, to the point. I definitely really care for my guy friends when I'm not worried about them expecting sex from me, so I'm preeeetty sure I'm biromantic with a heavier pull toward women. Definitely asexual though. I'd happily never kiss or touch another person intimately ever again, aside from an occasional peck on the lips and frequent cuddle fests (I like cuddling .-. ). So don't feel too weird about it! It's more common than you think. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyGuyRose Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Ok, so we agree that these identities can change over time.... for whatever reason. Thank you for the feedback. I was a bit confused because up until now I mostly thought of orientations being a solid, unmoving identity. But now that assumption/premise is out the window. Link to post Share on other sites
melissaax Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 I definitely think I understand what you're talking about. I thought I was gay up to a few months ago... Then, I realized I was gay because I didn't know about sexual orientations. I felt more comfortable with girls because they never pressured me into sex. Now, I'm learning that I may or may not be (haven't figured it out yet) biromantic. It's kind of a scary yet relieving path - and it is hard because orientations change so frequently. anyway, my point was, thanks for posting. this made me feel less alone. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyGuyRose Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 anyway, my point was, thanks for posting. this made me feel less alone. Communication Level: Togetherness Link to post Share on other sites
Noky Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Yeah, I feel the same, I think that I'm definitely biromantic. I'm actually starting to like it a lot more now that I'm becoming more accepting XD. Link to post Share on other sites
PatheticGirl Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 All this still doesn't make sense to me... seems like there is lot to understand on this front Link to post Share on other sites
Nymra Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I do have a similar situation, just the other way around x'3I've been thinking a lot about the whole thing... so I might be even a bi-romantic person...?I have no idea since there are only a few females I feel (kinda???) attracted too?I don't know x'3 Still trying to figure it out, but I'm quite certain that I'm asexual and I feel comfortable in my skin to define me like this :> Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyGuyRose Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 I've been thinking a lot about the whole thing... so I might be even a bi-romantic person...? I have no idea since there are only a few females I feel (kinda???) attracted too? Yeah, that goes me too in my situation. There's only a couple guys I would say I feel like I've ever been romantically attracted to up to this point. Could be like bisexuality where most people are attracted to both sexes but generally prefer/ are attracted to one sex a lot more. All this still doesn't make sense to me... seems like there is lot to understand on this front Ok, let's figure this out together. Ask some questions maybe we can help upi understand. It seems like most of us in this thread are still on the path of discovery so we're not completely sure, but we'll do our best to answer Link to post Share on other sites
Cimmerian Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I think it's interesting that some people consider it evolving to be an evolving identity. I can see why people think that but I always personally thought of it as just realizing the new aspect to the orientation I already had. I figured I had always been biromantic but it had just taken a number of years to reach that facet or for that facet to show up. Kind of like those cheesy game shows, "Ah but this was behind the door all along!" type of thing. Which makes me think it's kind of funny that that was my first reaction instead of "oh my identity changed/evolved". Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I've become slightly more open to having a relationship with females, now that I know sex doesn't need to be part of it. Still prefer guys though, because I get butterflies in my stomach around them. Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 It took me many years to realise in what way I am queer and to find a label that's adequate - at least to some extent. So if you still feel like you have to figure things out - no worries. It's probably more common than you think. I for one am still questioning my identity. Although I identify as biromantic, for now I would say I'm just as little 'into men' as I'm 'into women'. I find it odd to say so, I don't know - it's a strange concept to me. Maybe it's because it doesn't happen often that I meet someone I'm attracted to - and when I do, I don't care about their gender. Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I'v only known of asexuality and AVEN for about a month or two now, so a lot of the terms are brand new to me. That includes 'romantic orientation'. Before learning about asexuality I never thought much to classify/distinguish types of attraction before, like sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, etc. And when I first learned of these, I thought "ok, pretty sure I'm a heterosexual and heteroromantic male". But things may be changing. Like a number of asexuals first finding out about asexuality for the first time, it felt like a relief to see all of these aspects as options and to just be free to be whoever I want instead of thinking "this is/isn't what others are doing" So now I'm realizing that I'm relaxing into doing what I want without caring what others think. And I've been flirting with a guy friend of mine and he's returning the flirting (at least I think it's flirting?). More so than usual; that goes beyond our standard level of sex talk and closeness. And I don't think it's of a sexual attraction either, as far as I see it. I don't plan on doing anything serious beyond where our relationship is now, partially because he's already in a relationship. And all this has led me to think I just might be biromantic. At least as I see things now. I'm not entirely sure why I'm making this thread. Felt like sharing this with at least someone who might understand, I guess. Anyone else gone through something like this? Also, I feel like maybe I wasn't always biromantic. I've only viewed guys as friends at the very most in the past, but just recently this change has happened. Maybe it's just this one guy.... I don't know.... Maybe just time will help sort things out in my head.... Hmmmm..... I'm exactly the same, only I'm a girl. But the feelings I have for this particular friend aren't exactly the same as my usual crushes so I don't know what it is really. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyGuyRose Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 (Realizing now this thread might be better in the "Romantic Orientation" area, if someone moves it I understand) I think it's interesting that some people consider it evolving to be an evolving identity. I can see why people think that but I always personally thought of it as just realizing the new aspect to the orientation I already had. I figured I had always been biromantic but it had just taken a number of years to reach that facet or for that facet to show up. Kind of like those cheesy game shows, "Ah but this was behind the door all along!" type of thing. Which makes me think it's kind of funny that that was my first reaction instead of "oh my identity changed/evolved". Maybe for some people it's evolving, maybe for some it's discovering something that was already there ....? Who knows.... Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessNeko Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 I always thought something was wrong with me. Even when I thought I was just Bisexual, I was never sexually interested in anybody and not interested in sex. Even when I talked about doing it with my 2 ex girlfriends. I wasn't interested in even doing it. I just talked about doing it , because it was expected of me. I was glad when I was sent a link to an Asexuality group on Facebook and learned that nothing was wrong with me. I just had no interest in sex. I am proud to be a Biromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.