paperwishes Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I'm just wondering if anyone here has experienced these things. I have GAD and I noticed that it's usually not the biggest problem until I'm either in a relationship or even if I like someone and want so bad for them to like me that I get really, really worried and overthink every little thing I do. I found this site that explained it pretty well that I will reproduce in part here. It feels like you’re reading darkness from between the lines of a love letter—overriding any sturdiness to their voice with the familiar, wavering tones of all those you’ve heard before. It’s preparing yourself for heartache, despite it not being there; despite there being nothing to suggest it will be. It’s believing that heartbreak is, in the end, inevitable—despite your undying hope for the contrary. It’s allowing this belief to undermine all you think, say and do; setting an unforgiving pretext—leaving a bitter aftertaste to even the sweetest bite. For fear that each one—each kiss, laugh or unsuspecting smile—could be the last. I've noticed that I have the problem of becoming to extremely worried that every single thing I do may be disapproved of in some way. I'm not spending my time properly, I'm not doing the right things, saying the right things, liking the right things, disliking the right things, knowing the right things... Everything I do they will judge me for. I don't know where any of this came from and I want to fight it. Anyone understand this? Anyone have advice? Link to post Share on other sites
aka Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I think that the 3rd quote you posted is what I would go through... as it is what I feel when I start to get to know someone I think I may like I have OCD perfectionism which causes me a lot of anxiety in my life worrying about every little detail and what people may think about me... I feel that everything I do is wrong in some way and end up overthinking everything until it actually becomes a problem and causes more and more severe anxiety symptoms one thing I have tried recently to help stop the worrying is to become a little more vulnerable and tell people exactly how I am feeling... for me telling someone how I feel is like me taking control of the situation and then it lessens the feelings of worry because everything is out in the open I actually watched this video about vulnerability & shame which really really helped me with my anxiety hope it can help you too... by 10min in the video it should make sence to why I post it in relation to how you describe your relationships would be interesting to know what you think of the video and if it helps in any way Link to post Share on other sites
MissUnderstood Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I feel exactly the same and I get it all the time. I'm actually less anxious when he's not paying attention to me because of the "this kiss could be my last" fear. But I'm pretty much always anxious unless I can convince myself that I wouldn't care. I basically try to ignore it or distract myself or tell myself that being anxious isn't so bad. I would like better methods though. Link to post Share on other sites
aka Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 ...or tell myself that being anxious isn't so bad. I would like better methods though. yeah that sounds similar to one of my old methods of dealing with the physical symptoms of anxiety which was just to accept it and try to sit and observe what it feels like when it happens (which lowers the fear of having the symptoms, which in turn actually lessens the feeling of the symptoms) actually worked if you had time to sit for a few minutes but that was only for the physical symptoms like heart racing, nausea, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I can relate to this as I also experience anxious feelings. I personally read a lot of self-help books (Brene Brown is great!), read a daily meditation book, talk with a counselor on a regular basis, visit the pet store to play with cats on a fairly regular basis (have a cat at home also), and have a romantic partner who's willing to listen to and be present with me (emotionally for sure and physically if possible). I also have a supportive network of friends and family members. Link to post Share on other sites
enbyace Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I feel this. I haven't figured out a way to counter it yet. I try to communicate this fear to my qpp. They always reassure me when I need it. I can't help the nagging fear that it's annoying to them, though, always needing help overcoming this dark fear; I try to trust that if someone wants me to be in their lives, esp my qpp, it because they love me even if they don't say it very often. I have to trust them. I have to be very, stupidly honest and open about my fears, but it makes me feel lighter every time I do so. I've been communicating it every single time I have the feeling, no matter how stupid it feels to do it, no matter how hard I cry. And it's been happening less and less; the reassurances are lasting longer and longer. Maybe this will work for you as well; it can be hard though, when anxiety blows up every moment of silence into this determination that they are unlearning how to love you. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysADreamer Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 I am 100% going through this right now. I fear that I'm screwing everything up when I haven't done a thing wrong (that I know of) and that it's only a matter of time before they leave. I suppose it's best to talk with the person you are having these feelings for. They may be able to help with some of the feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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