Anyone feel like their sexuality is confusing or too complicated?

[cosmic-ace]

I think I finally have mine figured out --after such a long time-- but now it's just really complicated because I feel so many of the terms apply to me.

Gray-A: I only experience sexual attraction rarely.

Demi: When I do, it's only with people I am very emotionally close to.

Cupio: While I am not sexually attracted to people (99% of the time,) I am open to a sexual relationship, and even desire it sometimes.

AceFet: My fetishes define my sexuality more than anything and I have a lot of them.

[Spectre/Ex/Machina]

Took me a while too.

Im Polyamorous: I can fall in love with many.

Im Platonamorous: As a part of my Polyamory, I have close nit friendships and prefer most of them to be semiromantic.

Im Sapiosenual: I feel sensual attraction trough intellectual stimuli.

Im Panromantic: I don't care what gender/sex you are.

Autoromantic: As apart of my Panromantic, I am romantically attracted to myself.

Im an Asexual Fetishist: I experience 0% sex attraction and my Fetishes(which are many) are defining characteristic of my sexuality.

Cupiosexual: I enjoy engaging in sex.

And finally what I call Narcissexual: my ego and libido are linked, getting people off gets me off, I love control.

[BangBang]

I'm still very lost in my sexuality and don't completely understand it.

I am attracted to females aesthetically and sometimes sexually but rarely both at the same time. If she is pretty (typically nice face, no focus on body) then I'll want to fall in love with her but I won't have the urge to sleep with her. If she is more sexually attractive (more emphasis on the body) then I'll want to sleep with her but not form an emotional or romantic connection.

Here's where it gets complicated - while I feel sexual urges and desire, in the presence of someone I could exercise those feelings with, I lose the feelings. It is purely mental but the reality is too vivid and uncomfortable. On the few occasions I've gone through with sex I have felt really bad afterwards and unhappy with myself.

I also am too closed off to form romantic connections.

I just watch a lot of TV...

[Kazu]

I feel like mine's almost unnecessarily hard to explain too hence why I've narrowed it down to just aromantic asexual and only go into full detail when asked.

Gray-A/Demi: While I haven't been in any relationships yet I think I have the capacity to develop romantic/sexual feelings for whoever I'm with after a bond has been established.

Asexual: No outright sexual attraction at all

Bisexual: As said previously I think I have the capacity to have and maintain romantic/sexual relationships after a platonic relationship has been formed

Aromantic: No outright romantic attraction

Quoiromantic: I blur the lines between romantic and platonic relationships

Cupiosexual: I think after getting over my initial hesitation with sex I'd like having some sex (but not at ton of sex) in any future relationships

Sapiosexual: I know I wouldn't be able to form any future relationships with someone I don't view as intellectual and couldn't have any thought provoking conversations with

But then again, I'm not fully sure on this as I haven't been in any relationships to figure out if I'm capable of having relationships with people like that. I want to know for sure but I don't want to feel like I'm using someone especially if I know they could get hurt if it turns out I really don't develop any sort of intimate feelings towards other people.

[Star Bit]

Cupiosexual means an asexual who wants a sexual relationship, not someone who is ok with having sex.

If you want something that says your ok with having sex, I've seen "sex-positive" used.

[thatotherguy57]

The terminology takes some time. After almost a year, I still don't have all of it down.

[cosmic-ace]

Cupiosexual means an asexual who wants a sexual relationship, not someone who is ok with having sex.

If you want something that says your ok with having sex, I've seen "sex-positive" used.

Ah, forgive my phrasing then, but I am most certainly cupiosexual. My desire for sex ranges between not caring and craving it, so how I said it was based on what I was currently feeling.

[TheLandsBeyond]

Im Platonamorous: As a part of my Polyamory, I have close nit friendships and prefer most of them to be semiromantic.

Woah! I've never heard that term before, but it totally describes me! There are some people that I am very close with and have almost romantic feelings towards, but I don't really care if they see me as nothing more than a friend. I thought they were just semi-squishes or something, but this makes more sense. I don't feel a need to end any of these relationships, and I don't see them as exclusive on either end, but they're deeper than just a normal friendship.

And yeah, sexuality is complicated and multifaceted. I know a lot of people don't like labels, but I personally love using labels to describe myself. And mine have definitely changed over time.

Asexual because I've never experienced sexual attraction.

Panromantic because I can experience romantic attraction to people of any gender.

Lith-heteroromantic because I don't want any attraction I have towards a man to be reciprocated, and I lose interest if it is.

Sex-repulsed because never in a thousand years. Well, maybe it will change, but I don't see that happening soon.

Non-libidoist because even though I'm capable of experiencing mild arousal, I have absolutely no inclination to act on it.

Demi hetero touch averse (not sure if there's a better term for this) because the idea of being close to a man beyond a handshake or brief hug repulses me unless it's one of a couple people I'm very close with.

[Star Bit]

Im Platonamorous: As a part of my Polyamory, I have close nit friendships and prefer most of them to be semiromantic.

Demi hetero touch averse (not sure if there's a better term for this) because the idea of being close to a man beyond a handshake or brief hug repulses me unless it's one of a couple people I'm very close with.

Asensual means no sensual attraction. It can technically apply to romantic or platonic but is typically used under romantic. So i guess "Asensual (platonic)" is a way to use it, or Gray-sensual if its rare or your ok with specific sensual contact, or Demisensual if its after a certain bond is made.

[TheLandsBeyond]

Im Platonamorous: As a part of my Polyamory, I have close nit friendships and prefer most of them to be semiromantic.

Demi hetero touch averse (not sure if there's a better term for this) because the idea of being close to a man beyond a handshake or brief hug repulses me unless it's one of a couple people I'm very close with.

Asensual means no sensual attraction. It can technically apply to romantic or platonic but is typically used under romantic. So i guess "Asensual (platonic)" is a way to use it, or Gray-sensual if its rare or your ok with specific sensual contact or Demisensual if its after a certain bond is made.

Ahhhh thanks! That's a much more concise. Then I am definitely Gray-sensual.

[Smmk]

Quite the contrary! When I discovered my sexuality suddenly a lot of things finaly made sense to me :)

[imgone]

Yeahhh I wish it were a little more straightforward, literally all I tell people is "asexual" because I know to most people this lingo is useless, but...

Asexual: No sexual attraction, even after forming a close bond.

Androromantic: Romantically interested in masculine people.

Demiromantic: Strong romantic feelings only develop *sometimes* if I'm close to someone, though not consistently.

Non-libidoist: I have no libido and I think physical arousal, while tricky, may be easier for me to achieve than mental arousal? I am not particularly interested in getting my rocks off, basically. I also identify as somewhere in between sex indifferent and sex favorable, though I used to be repulsed.

Demi-Cupiosexual: Not sure if this is an actual label but I feel it applies. Even though I have no libido, I can and want to form sexual relationships with people I'm emotionally close to *if* I'm romantically interested in them. I enjoy the concepts more than I enjoy the physicality, I guess. Sex is just an extension of romantic expression for me and it's not really sexual... I know how that sounds haha.

Panaesthetic: I am aesthetically attracted to pretty people, regardless of sex or gender.

[noparlpf]

I'm just 97.4% ±0.3 aro/ace with a smidge of demisexual/demigynoromantic thrown in. It's relatively straightforward (most ace with a smidge of straight) and that's already too complicated for me. (Not to understand, just to deal with.) Anything grey is just a pain.

[Slayerin96]

Ever since I figured out I'm asexual, I've been doing research on this topic, more specifically on types of attractions a human can experience, attractions that define one's sexual identity as a whole. And by doing so, I learnt that sexual identity is much more vast than I ever imagined. It's fascinating to learn things about myself - it required a lot of introspection, as well as reading bunches of material related to this subject. Simply put, I'm an aromantic asexual woman, but if I am to get to the bottom of the matter, I do have some difficulty finding terms that could accurately describe my sexual identity since it's a very, very complex one.

So let's start with the simplest type of attraction: aesthetic. I experience this kind of attraction towards both males and females, thus I'm biaesthetic. If it's a guy, I can't help thinking "oh, he looks soooo well". If it's a girl, I'm like "oh, how I wish I looked like her". Nothing past that. No difficulty labelling myself here. It's all clear.

Another thing I know for sure is that I'm purely aromantic. I sense it's in my DNA lacking in this type of attraction and anything that might be related to it I don't understand that type of love and I never will. All I know for certain is that I'm inherently incapable of loving anyone that way. No crushes, no desire to have that kind of relationship with anyone. Ever. I've been like this all my life. Taking part in all those sappy and overly-sweetened things would make me feel uneasy. Very uneasy. Being put under the pressure of someone's having a crush on me or being in love with me makes my skin crawl. Having them go beyond the limits makes me feel like...arghghhh. In such situations I'm literally desperate to avoid the person in question insomuch as I can. Again, no trouble describing my exact romantic orientation.

But, well, starting from now comes the confusion.

I've never fanatsised sexually in my whole life. I've never experienced lust. I've never had drives. I've never been aroused. Nothing turns me on and I mean it. I don't find anything sexually appealing. I only masturbated out of curiosity and nothing went through my mind as I did so. I felt nothing. However, I've been sex-positive all my life. Even if I'm VISUALLY disturbed by any voyeuristic images, I do NOT find the act disgusting. I regard it as something natural, we're humans, for crying out loud. Furthermore, despite my having no libido at all and not experiencing such attraction, I'd like to try intercourse one day. I'm a curious person by nature. In addition to that, I've always liked the idea of being in a queerplatonic relationship with a guy (thank God I found the term for the relationship I always imagined it'd be right for me, and that it actually exists :D ). I imagined it like this: forming a strong emotional bond with a guy who's my age and to whom I'm aesthetically attracted. Having feelings of affection, respect, trust and gratitude towards each other (obviously NOT romantic in nature). And to us, sex would be a way of having fun. I'd feel comfortable and might even enjoy having sex with him (even if the circumstances are very, very limited) because we'd feel at ease around each other. Still, I can't imagine myself experiencing ATTRACTION. What do you make of that? What's all this called? Some demi, grey, asexual with totally straight behaviour all in one? Especially that the probability of my actually developing such a relationship AND having the circumstances fulfilled is slight :( .

Last, but not least, I'm demisensual. I only feel desire for handgrips, hugs, and long embraces towards people with whom I'm well emotionally connected, that involving intense platonic feelings on both parties.To me, all those sensual acts I mentioned are a way of expressing affection and gratitude. However, I noticed that I'm much more likely to form such connections with persons of the same gender as mine, even if I do remember I experienced sensual attraction towards boys, too, but not to so intense a degree. (By the way, I've squished on people of both genders throughout my life!) Am I homosensual-leaning in this case? Or am I actually more restrained with guys because I'm afraid they might perceive my actions wrongly or they might develop feelings for me that I'm not able to requite (you know what I mean), all of which makes me (unawarely) reserved and...cautious in this matter? It confuses me a tad.

Many thanks in advance to anyone who takes the patience to read all this and try to help me figure myself out better. I can't restrain my curiosity xD.

[imgone]

@Slayerin:

The way you described your sexuality reminded me of myself in many respects! (Especially the part about masturbating out of curiosity and nothing really going through your mind. I got so bored I tried to read a book while I did it... And not even a sexy book.) Of course, my experience is a little different because I am only interested in sexual encounters in romantic contexts, BUT that aside sounds to me like you might want to look into cupiosexuality. It's when you're asexual but you're still interested in forming/desire to form sexual relationships. I have mixed feelings about the term itself, (because the suffix -sexual denotes sexual attraction, and not any specific desires) but I like to have that vocabulary to express myself within the community.

[xSkylar]

All these new terms I've never heard of! @_@ Just adds to the confusion haha

[OttRInvy]

Autoromantic: As apart of my Panromantic, I am romantically attracted to myself.

I've never heard of that before! Would you mind explaining it further? :)

[Slayerin96]

@Slayerin:

The way you described your sexuality reminded me of myself in many respects! (Especially the part about masturbating out of curiosity and nothing really going through your mind. I got so bored I tried to read a book while I did it... And not even a sexy book.) Of course, my experience is a little different because I am only interested in sexual encounters in romantic contexts, BUT that aside sounds to me like you might want to look into cupiosexuality. It's when you're asexual but you're still interested in forming/desire to form sexual relationships. I have mixed feelings about the term itself, (because the suffix -sexual denotes sexual attraction, and not any specific desires) but I like to have that vocabulary to express myself within the community.

I don't like what the word sounds like ;d. So I'm a curious sex-positive asexual, to keep things simple :) .

[llamajesus]

I don't even think I fully understand my sexual/romantic orientation.

I'm almost positive I'm simply asexual, since I don't feel sexually attracted to other people.

Then my romantic orientation is what's more complicated for me.

Demiromantic: since I only feel romantically attracted to people I feel close to

Panromantic/sensual/aesthetic: I can feel romantically, sensually, or aesthetically attracted to people regardless of gender

Lithromantic: I feel this romantic attraction, but if it's reciprocated I lose interest almost immediately

Quoiroromantic: I'm not always good at differentiating between romantic and platonic feelings

[SMW22792]

My sexual orientation is fairly straightforward or me, but romanticism is slightly more complicated.

Asexual: Don't experience sexual attraction.

Asexual Fetishist: I have fetishes that make up the majority of my sexuality, and I wish to not involve anyone else in them.

Sapiosensual: It's easier for me to get closer to someone who is intelligent.

Polyamorous: Because I desire queerplatonic relationships, I'd rather have multiple close friendships then just one intimate relationship.

Panromantic: Gender or biological sex plays no role in determining who I want to be close with.

Quoiromantic: Before I knew the term, I always asked myself what the difference was between a close friendship, and a romantic relationship. I'm not generally romantic, so how I act among good friends is how I'd act in a more intimate relationship. I also desire queerplatonic relationships.

Agender: I may be on the wrong track with this one, but I don't believe in gender stereotypes. Not to mention I don't know what it is that'd make me comfortable with calling myself cis. Yet, I feel no discomfort identifying a male seeing as it's my biological sex.

[newMasturbator]

Yeah, my sexuality has confused me since adolescence.

Basically, I'm a heterosexual male without a libido.

[Eva]

Sometimes I feel that my personal life having to do with sex and non-sex is a little complicated. But everyone is complicated, so it's OK.

Asexual: I've never felt any sexual arousal toward other people.

Aromantic: Can't relate to romance at all.

Sensual: I'm very tactile. Skin stimulation is important to me. It never causes a sexual response in me.

Libidinous: I have a high libido and strong urges for sexual pleasure.

Autoerotic: I cherish the sexual pleasure I give myself.

Fetishist: I'm deeply involved in some BDSM activities. I think it's an extension of my tactile nature. It never causes a sexual response in me.

Social: My friendships are very close and affectionate. I have some introverted qualities too, but I like to be with people.

Independent: The absence of sexual and romantic pulls toward other people feels very freeing.

So I'm a social and friendly person, tactile and involved in sensual matters, into sexual pleasure, but not taking any of those things to the next step that is usually expected: romantic and sexual relations with other people.

[AceInhibitor]

Yes, mostly because I have no idea what it is. At the moment, I'm thinking asexual, probably quoiroromantic, because I am having a really tough time figuring out whether the feelings I have towards a couple of friends are romantic or platonic. If I could work that out then I'd finally know if I'm biromantic or not. I find people of any gender good-looking, I just like pretty things, so I guess I count as panaesthetic? And I kind of think I might lead towards polyamory just because at the moment I can't see myself ever having sex, and I don't expect someone to become celibate for my sake. So I have no idea. I just spend a lot of time questioning it in private and pretend I'm still straight. Although even then it was kinda doubtful, if I'm working by the kinsey scale I'm probably roundabout a two.

[R_1]

I do not feel that my sexual orientation is complicated to understand, but I do think that the fact that my sexual orientation has changed on it own is too difficult for most people to understand.

[Ficulnean]

I was going to say know, but that's because I leave of the fetishist part in any reasonable conversation. So, yes.