In a long term relationship and questioning

[Lucinda Heart]

I have been in a loving straight relationship for about five years and for the first few months of it, I never felt like I needed it but I was okay with having sex. Although I found myself wanting/likeing sex more and more until eventually I just never wanted it, this was about a year or so into our relationship. My boyfriend on the other hand is very sexual, and I don't mind and even like pleasureing him but he gets upset when I don't want anything sexual done to me. He never pressures me to do anything I don't want to or anything though and other than out sex life we have a wonderful relationship. I thought something may be wrong with me so I started to do some research of sorts to try to figure myself out witch is when I found out about asexuallity. I feel like I might be asexual but the problem then becomes that I'm an asexual with a very sexual partner. I don't even know how to go about telling him that I think I am, or how we would work through it.

I was just hopeing to get some advice or maybe hear other people's expieriances in a simalar situation.

[SGB]

I think I'm in kind of the same boat. I've been with my boyfriend for three years. I think he's started to suspect that I'm asexual, and once caught me looking at this site like a year and a half ago. If I tell him that I'm asexual (I guess I'm still holding out on it being some other problem with me, one that I can fix) I know we'll have to break up, but he's my best friend, and the person I'm closest to.

Sorry, that's not advice or experience or anything. I'm just tagging on so I can see what other people might say when they post on this thread.

[yellow]

Wish I had some advice for you. Welcome ... hope you find the support you need!

[Star Bit]

Mixed sexuality relationships can work, they just need communication and or compromise. Both people must be open to compromise and communication of problems and opinions. If theres something sensual you feel leads to sex and you dont like doing so or need the confirmation that it doesnt mean that, then talk about it with him. You can either put up with the amount of sex your partner wants, come to a middle ground on the demand (hand jobs and "toys" can also be an option), come to be morally satisfied when you sexually satisfy them (ex. you did something nice for them), have an open relationship, or end it. Also, i heard putting more emphasis on other parts of the relationship; more cuddling or what have you, could possibly ease one's demand for sex. As for his demand to sexually please you, I'm not sure there's anything left to say that you haven't said to him. Other than making sure they understand that "its honestly not you, its me."