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The "friendzone"


Smmk

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The only girl I have even romantically grown attatched too is a lesbian. So I suppose that you could say that I am "friendzoned" like that. However I never told her how I feel for fear of loosing the relationship. While it can be a bit painful sometimes, I enjoy being friends with her regardless. I dont really see what the problem with by being "friendzoned" while it might hurt, surely the friendship should be valued regardless?

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I think "friendzone" is used in a negative connotation.

I believe if you are friends with anyone, you are just friends. Nothing more nothing less, and no "zone" either.

I classify people in my life outside of family as friends or acquaintances. I don't "zone" anybody.

The whole "zone" thing came about because of that stupid concept guys have if they are too nice to women they enter this "zone," or that if in this "zone" if they are only a little bit nicer the woman one day owes them sex.

It seems a little silly to me. I don't "brotherzone," "sisterzone," or "petzone" (although I think the last one might be a store) any of those things.

Friends are friends until one day they are not.

I read a great article on Cracked that took this concept, but in an interesting direction.

Here's the article:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-confessions-female-nice-guy/

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@argar...apart from the reference you make to a 'zoozone' [my word for "petzone"], I experience a counter-zoning system.

For me, it has been an intrusion for anyone I've ever met to breach a physical or communicative boundary I've placed 'about' myself. That includes; family-members...who can get no closer than being in the same car, or sitting with me at a dinner-table. Flat-mates discomfort me when we're in the same room or corridor, as did fellow students.

I employ a personal-space zone in a defensive sense...I 'protect' myself from any influence, or intimate, association with anyone. Understandably, I've never felt affection or love [in the narrower sense] with anyone. There exists a flight-or-fight response: If someone gets too close, I'll avoid them. If I cannot avoid them; I'll become anxious, then stress-out and become angry. If that doesn't succeed in reaffirming the 'zone', then violence toward them or me, can ensue.

Why? I don't know...but it 'works'. Cia :ph34r:

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FallOutAtTheMotionCityDisc

I just laugh at people who complain about being in the "friendzone", I've never really felt bad for them. Most of the stories I've heard about it are like:

Girl and Boy are friends. Boy likes Girl, but doesn't tell her. Girl is in relationship after relationship with "a-holes" (according to Boy telling the story), and complains to Boy about it, because they're friends and she feels like she should be about to tell him anything. Boy says he's "friend-zone" because the Girl is in a "bad relationship", instead of dating him.

Basically, every story I've heard is the same; pretty stupid.

I had a squish on a boy (called it a crush then, but I wouldn't have dated him, even though I've known him off and on for a long time) who, after being close friends for a couple of months, I developed an actual crush on. He knew I liked him (apparently I'm really obvious), and he teased me about it, and even did things like call me "princess", it seemed almost like he also had a crush on me. Now he has a girlfriend and won't talk to me at all. There was almost no transition, except he talked to me less often for the month or so before he stopped all together.

Most people might call that friendzoning, but I think if you're in the "friendzone" at least they still talk to you, and hang out with you?? I'd honestly rather be "friendzoned", but still talking and hanging out... They have no idea how good they have it :P

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hdfskjfsdshdsajfhaksd

The friendzone is a myth. I saw someone say once that when someone complains about being in the friendzone, they're really in the "oh-crap-not-this-again-zone".

I've had a few guys ask me out, and I rejected them all because I wasn't attracted to them. One of them has joked about how I friendzone every guy i meet. -_-

I believe there's a difference between simply being sad/upset about being rejected by someone you like a lot (a normal, healthy reaction), and blaming the person you like for not liking you back.

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I always figure the 'friendzone' sounds like a much better option than having someone stop talking to you, which I've done because people having crushes on me terrifies me and I run away, and people I fancy have done it to me, and either way the whole business of unrequited affection sucks no matter which side you're on. What annoys me is when people talk about the friendzone as though they're done deliberately or maliciously not attracted to you, if I could be romantically attracted to that person, I would. But that's not how it works. I guess technically I've been friendzoned before but I really really enjoy the relationships I have with those people anyway, and I'm not in the infatuation stage of a crush where I convince myself that maybe dating them would be kind of fun, I'd rather keep the friendships I have than lose them, they're the type of people who don't cope well with that kind of romantic nonsense. Which is fine because I love them to pieces anyway.

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I never understood why the "friendzone" was a bad thing. Isn't it nice to have friends? Does every relationship need to be sexual with some people? Having deep, meaningful conversations with someone appeals to me much more then having sex.

I agree with you.

However, it seems that mass media and society in general view being friend zoned as some kind of complaint for being rejected or some kind of unwanted situation because their goal was not friendship.

Does someone know the step by step process to being friend zoned? It seems to be an interesting study topic.

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WoodwindWhistler

There is one thing that is still a true concern with the "friendzone" : people don't want to date their friends and consider that you can't be friends with your partner because feelings are supposed to be purely based on desire. Thankfully the whole world is not like that, because otherwise, it would reduce chances to date to 0 for us demiromantics. But it still happens too often.

And yet the most ironic thing is, the persistent belief that they will one day "get out" of the friendzone (and they DO trade advice on how to get out, etc) actually has suspiciously similar traits to demisexuality, don't you think? It's just that they're *assuming* the object of their affection is demi *and* will eventually come around for them, which is a bad assumption obviously for several reasons.

This implies that people on default see everyone of the opposite sex as a "dating option" or a possible sexual partner. Becoming friends negates that. This way of thinking is, to me, ridiculous. For many people the default is the opposite. This kind of thinking suggests that people do not value friendships with the opposite sex at all, and that the only meaningful relationship with the opposite sex is a sexual one. It is quite aggravating.

Yes, I agree, when we have these very strict categories of "friend" and "romantic partner." Remember in the Lion King when Simba said ew, why would I want to marry Nala, she's my best friend. I personally think that kind of attitude is toxic and leads to specifically seeking relationships with people you aren't already friends with or thinking that if you connect platonicly and don't feel something *immediately* they are out of the running for being a partner. Even allosexuals can fall in love after being friends with someone for a while- it's not like every encounter they ever have has to be either all or nothing- either love at first sight or forever only friends.

This is part of the problem, of course, that not everyone uses the term in the same way. More than once I've seen someone get blasted for expressing heartbreak over the situation - all too often, others jump to the conclusion that the "friendzoned" person is bitter, or blaming the other person for not being attracted to them (Or worse still, assuming that their heartbreak is all about sex). And to my mind, that isn't fair. People should be able to feel heartbroken. The line is crossed when someone starts to ascribe blame or malice to the person they're attracted to

Huh, I've never heard of that. Looks like the anti-friendzoners are coming out in force. XD

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