Can you be Asexual and still have Physical Preferences?

[ClonedRose]

I've always had an apreciation for certain physical characteristics. I like androgynous looking men, a beautiful six-pack, and I also like Asians and sharply dressed men in suits.

Up until now, I thought I was a heterosexual with intimacy issues. But recently I've identified myself as an asexual, with perhaps aesthetic preferences.

Now, this site has been very helpful in answering many of my questions, for which I am very grateful. Based on what I've learned here, it IS possible to have a PHYSICAL attraction, but not a SEXUAL attraction.

What are your opinions?

[Guest Sheka4]

You could certainly just be attracted to certain aesthetical features. It's totally common so it shouldn't be something to worry about.

[Guest]

Asexuality is about whether or not you have an innate desire for partnered sex *with* the people you find attractive. You can totally appreciate/be attracted to aesthetic/physical/etc aspects of a person without desiring partnered sex with them! :)

[Guest]

Yeah, I have aesthetic preferences. They don't have to be sexual.

[deltaX]

Its totally possible to have aesthetic preferences!! I know I have my own preferences on what type of guys I think are good-looking, but I never feel anything sexual or romantic towards them. Instead its more of a "you look really great/cute/handsome/interesting/whatever, I just want to look at you for a while" kind of thing.

[butterflydreams]

Absolutely! There are certainly a handful of things that I like all the time, like certain hairstyles, certain faces, but more rare is an attraction to the whole picture. Still, I can tell you without a doubt it is not sexual in nature. Yikes. Even trying to force it makes me feel awful, so I don't!

[Beyourownspotlight]

Of course you can!

[Corretto]

You'll find it well-documented. Like many in the aro-ace brigade, I do sense an 'aesthetic attraction' to a number of sources...and they do include women...but also cars, architectural- design and many forms of 'art'.

I sense no 'sexual attraction' to women or men, to Ferrari or Ducati, to Frank Lloyd Wright's designs, or Storm Thorgerson's [Pink Floyd] album covers! Cia

[abbersthenerd]

Personally, I do have preferences, but there are so many exceptions that I wonder if I've just made them up to have an answer when someone asks my "type".

There's really no rhyme or reason to whether I'll find a specific person aesthetically attractive.

[Raine14]

From what I've learned, sexual attraction is a desire for sexual contact with a specific person. Aesthetic attraction is an appeal to physical characteristics. It's like artwork, really. I'll stare at a Van Gogh just the same as I'll stare at a slim, muscular male. (And I do not want to have my naughty way with either the Van Gogh or the slim, muscular male -- just to be clear.) It's an appreciation of beauty. And just like with artwork, we all have preferences. For instance, I really don't like beards (no matter how many dwarves march by in the new Hobbit movies), for no particular reason other than I find them utterly unattractive at an aesthetic level. Other people find beards devilishly handsome. So I hand the bearded ones over to those people and they hand the smooth-shaven ones my way. Everyone is happy. :)

[DexM]

I have always appreciated a long pair of legs on a woman, I'm quite fond of pert bottoms, and I do enjoy a good six-pack. For me, it is often about the fitness dedication that accompanies those, but with long, slim legs, I do have to say that I find them to be purely a preference. I do have a few others but these are the main attractions.

[marki]

Brown skin, dark silky hair, dark eyes.....awwwww beautiful!

[Purnkin Spurce]

You can totally find others physically and visually pleasing without ever having sexual desires for them.

[irishrose004]

So I identify as being an asexual 27 year old woman, with no sex drive and no desire for intimacy, aside from cuddling and kissing. That's ok with me. Although, I am attracted to some attributes that both sexes have. I actually thought I was bisexual for a while, because when a beautiful man, or woman, walked by me, I would follow them with my eyes and kind of take note as to why I found them attractive in some way. It kind of hit me recently that I was just appreciating the male and female form, because my mind isn't clouded by sexuality and lust. I suppose I was noticing these individuals the same way a scientist looks through a telescope, with interest based strictly on pure curiosity. I think aces see the world differently, and it separates us from the rest of the world, because we think something is wrong with us. Maybe something is just wrong with society and our culture. We're fine the way we are, I guess we just need to accept ourselves.

[Keels]

Although, I am attracted to some attributes that both sexes have. I actually thought I was bisexual for a while, because when a beautiful man, or woman, walked by me, I would follow them with my eyes and kind of take note as to why I found them attractive in some way. It kind of hit me recently that I was just appreciating the male and female form, because my mind isn't clouded by sexuality and lust. I suppose I was noticing these individuals the same way a scientist looks through a telescope, with interest based strictly on pure curiosity.

Me too. This, exactly. (Including the "recently" part!)

[ghoul]

Of course! I don't see why you wouldn't. It's very common for asexual people to have aesthetic attractions, it's actually so common that people have aesthetic orientations. But for example though, one can find a painting beautiful, or a cat to be cute or pretty, or a sunset to be beautiful.. But rarely do people want to have sex with 'em. I generally find femininity to be incredibly beautiful, and also androgynous and feminine women.. I'm not so sure I necesseraly wanna have sex with them though.

[deleted_account]

Yes. I like long hair. It is a thing. Pretty much all the men I've dated have had long hair, and so have all of the women. It might just be coincidental, but it seems to be a pattern.

With women, I know there are certain looks I go for. Maybe it is sexual in nature and maybe it is aesthetic, I don't know. I'm not going to say I'll never be open to it, it's just right now I'm hesitant. However, I like women who look as if they care for themselves. Sloppy smelly people, while often possessing great personalities, don't really do it for me because I have a sensitive nose and slight OCD tendancies. I don't need a Victoria's Secret model or a magazine girl, but someone who takes pride in her appearance and smiles and has a more intellectual side to her (BUT NOT THOSE FAKE BIG GLASSES I HATE THAT SO MUCH).

[_stillahomosapien_]

Yes, I think I read theres a thing called aesthetic attraction(not really sure) and I consider myself homoaesthetic because I am aesthetically attracted to the same gender(bio or not).

[cheeringselenator]

Oh yeah, I am exactly the same way! I find people of both sexes very aestheticly attractive, but I just don't want anything more from it.

[ghostie]

[IanH]

I actually find a lot of men and women physically attractive, but I never really have a desire to have sex with either.

[Ficulnean]

Yep. I do. It made figuring out my asexuality rather difficult, and crops up as a concern for me occasionally, still. But it's perfectly normal,

[Kazu]

Yeah there's a bunch of physical features and stuff I personally find really aesthetically attractive but that's as far as it goes for me. I don't really want to do anything to/with that particular person just because they look to nice in my eyes.

[That asexual guy]

Absofreakinlutely

[TheStarrySkai]

Of course. I know I do. I also like androgynous guys, or well androgynous people in general. Mostly I just like looking at pretty people, cause they are pretty.... =P I don't wanna do anything (although wanting to simply meet them does come up when the person is a celebrity). I just watch... in a non-creepy way of course. Like watching a really good music video that you wanna keep playing on repeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rising Sun]

Everybody who isn't totally aromantic asensual aaesthetic asexual has physical preferences. Everybody who is hetero-something or homo-something is naturally attracted to a gender, which is physical attraction.

[kelico]

As you've already seen, yes of course! : ) I have so many preferences that I don't even know if they can be called "preferences" lol. The people I find aesthetically pleasing are on quite the spectrum when it comes to their features!