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Excuses! Excuses! Version 2.0


Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

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Avenite with the name

I had to, it was the only way to stop the brain worms from controlling people's minds!

TPBM stole all my sunscreen, so I got all burnt!

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idekrncidc231

Sorry. I needed it to save the baby whale that got beached before she got sunburned.

Tpbm ate all my cotton candy!

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Hey, you snooze, you lose, and I do love cotton candy.

TPBM thinks gas prices are too high, so every night he siphons a little bit of gas from his neighbour's car.

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RhuinHruda

You obviously have me confused with the person who lives on the other side of you. I don't even have a car.

TPBM lured me into a box trap with pieces of candy and shipped me to Timbuktu. I just now got back.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just getting rid of the competition... when it comes to candy, I share with no one.

TPBM snuck into my closet and stole all my tank tops.

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Avenite with the name

It's nearly summer, and all my clothes are for winter!

TPBM changed all the clocks in my house and made me late for dinner!

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Ace of Amethysts

I was experimenting with making humans a nocturnal species.

The person below me made me forget to check AVEN for a week!

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I was keeping the spotlight for myself. What can I say, I'm selfish.

TPBM drank all my Blue Raspberry Kool-Aid.

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Sometimes, sacrifices must be made in the name of science.

The person below me won't let me sacrifice other peoples' belongings in the name of science.

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Science can wait. I'd rather sell the belongings on EBay and get cold, hard cash.

TPBM let all the air out of my bicycle tires.

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The bike was planning to throw you over a cliff, and letting the air out was the quickest way to stop it!

TPBM ran me over in a troll physics car!

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I was desperately trying to reattach the magnet that had fallen off my car that I didn't see you standing there in the middle of the sidewalk.

TPBM ate the candles that were on his birthday cake.

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I always finish my plate, no matter how much there is on it!

TPBM stole all the groceries I bought from the tiny bit of a rest of cash I had.

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Well did you want me to starve?

TPBM murdered my cat.

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Actually I only kidnapped him, because I wanted him for myself; I want you to think he's dead so you won't look for him.

TPBM stole my tickets to the Dr. Phil show.

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  • 9 months later...
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

I'm so sorry, I come from an alternative future, you went, and because you went, you never met your future partner, who you had to meet, because three years later the two of you would be appearing on the Doctor Phil show. Because going to the show, meant you didn't go to the show, the whole universe got confused, and imploded around the paradox. The only way to restore the universe was to stop you going.

TPBM woke me up in the middle of the night by standing over me and pouring a basket full of spiders on my head!

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I was trying to stop some mosquitoes from giving you malaria.

 

TPBM keeps hacking my weather machine to prevent Ireland from getting good weather!

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

The farmers NEED that rain, are you trying to re-create the potato famine?!?

 

TPBM cut a large hole in my roof, now all that rain gets in! I'm not trying to grow crops inside my house you know!

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

Is so pretty, and just so tempting to steal. I was afraid that someone might steal it, so I decided I had to steal it first. So, while it is true that I stole it, you can borrow it sometimes, and I will take good care of it.

 

TPBM keeps slipping me sleeping pills during lectures so I can't concentrate 

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Well, not my fault the professor isn't boring enough to snooze you on his own.

TPBM took my lightsaber! Its not a flashlight, you know...

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It was the closest thing I could find to a blowtorch to get at my beer storage.

 

TPBM bombarded Ravenholm with headcrabs!

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  • 4 weeks later...

They had it coming!!!

 

 

TPBM made me sit through an interpretive dance workshop.

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Actually, it was a "full body" expressionist sign language class...never mind all the upraised middle fingers.

 

TPBM stole all my headwrapping scarves!

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Okay, see, I was planning on washing them all for you so they'd be fresh and clean but I didn't realize they were dry-clean only, and I was just too embarrassed to tell you I ruined them.

 

 

TPBM infected my computer with a virus.

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It was a total accident, I swear. Besides, it is not a "virus" per se, more like a mild software gut-bug. Your computer should only be puking spam for a couple of days...a week at most. 

 

TPBM bought me a ticket to a Trump rally...wtf!?

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RhuinHruda

Yes, because if we all buy tickets and none of us go, then he'll have an empty rally. So see, plan!

 

 

TPBM flushed the toilet while I was in the shower.

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