How do you feel about therapists?

[HanBanan]

What's your experience with therapists? I have seen 4+ therapists, one Christian and the others secular (non-specified religion). Most of the experiences were good, but not with the Christian therapist. I saw the first 3 because of a specific event that happened when I was a kid, and my mom went into my first three therapists' offices and told them what had happened. She always portrayed me as a super-innocent kid who never does anything wrong and has nothing wrong with her but was victimized. I felt like this was a dishonest portrayal, and what's worse, I felt I couldn't be honest with them about my struggles with depression and shame, just like I couldn't really tell my mom because of how she seemed to think I was an angel. When I saw the fourth therapist, I was driving by then, and I went by myself without letting my mom meet her. She was incredible. She talked to me about Buddhism, and though it didn't change my beliefs, it encouraged me to research and embrace ideas from all around the world. I didn't see her because of only one event, and I didn't even tell her about the event until we had been seeing each other for some time.

I sometimes thinking about seeing her again. I stopped because I moved out of state, but now I'm back. I thought I didn't need/want to, but yesterday I had an anxiety attack that made me black out. I was considering it today and decided to ask my family on AVEN how they feel about therapists in general (especially since a lot of people here like to take quizzes).

[WhenSummersGone]

I am seeing one and have seen others. I usually enjoy them because I like talking about my feelings lol. My therapist doesn't know about my sexuality but I'm seeing her for other reasons.

[HanBanan]

I am seeing one and have seen others. I usually enjoy them because I like talking about my feelings lol. My therapist doesn't know about my sexuality but I'm seeing her for other reasons.

Thanks for your response! I like talking about my feelings, too, and I have a hard time doing it with my friends because they often need my support more than I need theirs. I wasn't married when I was seeing therapists, and now that I am, I talk to him about almost everything. However, when we have problems with the whole asexual-in-a-sexual-relationship thing, I like someone of my same gender who isn't emotionally invested to talk to about it.

[Goaty]

In your guys' experience, are therapists generally open to asexuality? Like, do they know what it is or are they at least willing to listen and accept it? I'd be worried about telling one only to have them insist it isn't real, seeing it as a problem to fix instead. Thoughts?

[tahtipolya]

I really enjoyed my therapist and talking with her, but after every meeting my mother would ask me if I really needed to see her still and i felt pressured to stop...so I did. Lately, my depressions been really bad and I'd like to go to therapy again, but I know my parents wouldn't like that. :/

[interpol]

I am a student and have seen four therapists (am currently seeing the fourth.) Each one was helpful in a certain point in time for my healing. And is currently. (The changes were because either I moved or they moved; the third was mainly to finish off what the second started.)

Though I do look forward to the day I no longer need one, I am glad of the help I've received so far. My parents don't like it, but I knew it was needed, and it's free, so whatever. Sometimes it sucks, but in the end, it's worth it.

[Neurula]

My counselor is great! She knows I am an aromantic asexual (I've explained what it means in multiple sessions) and she completely accepts that. I've had 3 other counselors and they ranged from meh to bad.

[HanBanan]

I never told my therapists, but that's because I wasn't accepting of myself at that time. I wanted to force myself to be sexual and I wouldn't even look into asexuality or AVEN at the time. It's encouraging to read about all of your experiences with telling therapists, though. I love all the input. Also, for any of you thinking you should go back but aren't because of your parents, I really think it would be best. Your parents probably don't realize how much you need it and how much it will help, but they might realize later that they were wrong, and then where would you be? I think about that with my husband, too. They didn't want me to marry him because we're young, but we take such good care of each other and are such a perfect team that I'm sure they'll realize later that I'm much happier this way :) sometimes you just have to do what's right for you and wait for them to catch on (still keep them informed though; I'm not encouraging lying).

[Captain Darkhorse]

Do I win the lottery for having seen 11 different therapists? :P It couldn't really be helped; I moved pretty often for a few years and had to find a new one each time.

But the last therapist I saw was the one who told me about asexuality, so there are some that are pretty open.

[FiddleKid]

I don't like them, they are sly and think they know everything (my opinion)

[FOXracingfan]

I've never seen a one and never will. Even if I have a reason for seeing one I won't go. It's not therapist themselves, I just don't like talking to people about my personal "problems." Honestly I think therapist can be an extremely good thing, my brother goes to a therapist and I can really see how it helps him. Some therapist are better than others, but that goes with any profession.

[DexM]

I have had a therapist, I no longer have a therapist, they wasn't aware of anything on the Asexual spectrum (they wasn't aware of much), I would never see one again no matter how ill I was as it was completely useless and horrific. A way past their prime (if they even had a "prime") dinosaur who I swear would have sent me off for a lobotomy if they could and who's only method of help and care, was to shovel more tablets down my neck. My hatred towards it was intense for a long time and I often wondered what I would do if I saw them again. I had heard that someone else has a malpractice case out against them. The death penalty, just for special cases, would be most welcomed ^_^

[Chewy]

Is a therapist the same as a counselor? I don't like counselors because they haven't had my experience and what they can offer is very text book and elementary.

[Lisi]

My therapist helped me a lot. It was a mistake to stop seeing her, and I am currently looking for a new one. I only didn't tell her about my asexuality, because I didn't even know that's a thing.

[HanBanan]

I have had a therapist, I no longer have a therapist, they wasn't aware of anything on the Asexual spectrum (they wasn't aware of much), I would never see one again no matter how ill I was as it was completely useless and horrific. A way past their prime (if they even had a "prime") dinosaur who I swear would have sent me off for a lobotomy if they could and who's only method of help and care, was to shovel more tablets down my neck. My hatred towards it was intense for a long time and I often wondered what I would do if I saw them again. I had heard that someone else has a malpractice case out against them. The death penalty, just for special cases, would be most welcomed ^_^

This sounds like a psychiatrist... and not a very good one, at that!

[Literary X]

In your guys' experience, are therapists generally open to asexuality? Like, do they know what it is or are they at least willing to listen and accept it? I'd be worried about telling one only to have them insist it isn't real, seeing it as a problem to fix instead. Thoughts?

I was thinking the same thing. If I ever see another therapist, I don't think I would mention my aromantic asexuality, as I don't want anyone trying to "cure" the one thing I like about myself.

[interpol]

In your guys' experience, are therapists generally open to asexuality? Like, do they know what it is or are they at least willing to listen and accept it? I'd be worried about telling one only to have them insist it isn't real, seeing it as a problem to fix instead. Thoughts?

I was thinking the same thing. If I ever see another therapist, I don't think I would mention my aromantic asexuality, as I don't want anyone trying to "cure" the one thing I like about myself.

Most of them don't know what it is. XD They will be more worried about what you DON'T like about yourself. But it's been my experience that the therapist I was most angry at, and about, and thought was not understanding of my situation..........she was right. She had a PhD for a reason. Maybe she was completely ineffective at the communication on some points, but now I see what she was going for. So all of you who think your therapist was bad...........maybe they were, but take a look back and ask why.

[kiaroskuro]

Boy, I often think that my aversion to therapists borders on some kind of paranoid hatred. Many years ago I really needed help and I did see quite a number of therapists over the course of time. Most of them weren't helpful at all, some of them were unfeeling or even downright cruel.

I can't rule out the possibility that I'll experience another crisis in the future, but I definitely don't want to see another therapist again. I'm very interested in and supportive of the anti-psychiatry movement.

[Amy Ghost]

I had been seeing two, and neither was able to really help me. So, I don't want to again. I lost my trust in them

[Skycaptain]

I saw a therapist earlier this year for several sessions, and not to put too fine a point on it I doubt I would be here without them. She rescued me from a very dark place where I was almost at the point of no return. Even better she managed to make sense of lives (plural deliberate) as crazy as mine.

[DexM]

I have had a therapist, I no longer have a therapist, they wasn't aware of anything on the Asexual spectrum (they wasn't aware of much), I would never see one again no matter how ill I was as it was completely useless and horrific. A way past their prime (if they even had a "prime") dinosaur who I swear would have sent me off for a lobotomy if they could and who's only method of help and care, was to shovel more tablets down my neck. My hatred towards it was intense for a long time and I often wondered what I would do if I saw them again. I had heard that someone else has a malpractice case out against them. The death penalty, just for special cases, would be most welcomed ^_^

This sounds like a psychiatrist... and not a very good one, at that!

Yeah, you're right. Sorry about that, I tend to see "....ist" and just go off on one :P

[House of Chimeras]

We have seen a therapist and are currently seeing the same therapist. Been seeing her off and on (though more on the off and less on the on) since 2010. Kind of neutral about it as we mostly go in for “sanity check-ups.” She does know most of us are asexual. Our experience is mostly neutral because of how awkward it is for us due to our therapist kind of being as confused about our mental state as we are.

[Spotastic]

I've seen 3 different therapist-type people.

First, I had too go to the school counselor when I was in high school after my parents divorced. That was completely useless and I didn't go back after the first time.

Second, I had a mental breakdown while I was in the military. My dad became homeless, a family friend committed suicide, and my cousin died shortly after being born all in the same week. After flying home (my gunnery sergeant even paid for me to go) I saw the therapist for a few weeks. Being able to go home helped a lot more than the therapist did, but I still can't really complain about his approach. It just wasn't what I needed anymore.

Third, I saw a psychologist from the VA when I was depressed and on the verge of suicide, myself. Since everything they write goes into my VA file, I found out that they wrote some pretty horrible things about me in the couple weeks I saw them. I didn't go back, made a complaint to the clinic about them, and don't particularly look forward to seeing any more therapists in the future.

I didn't know about asexuality for any of those times and couldn't mention it even if I wanted to.

[Teavana]

My therapist was the worst. She started hating me at some point, giving me dirty looks. The feeling is now mutual. She didn't help me at all. I helped myself through everything. I am taking a counseling class now and I learned what therapists are supposed to do. She didn't do any of that. She doesn't know I'm asexual because I didn't know I was asexual when I was visiting her.

[anís]

My therapist is a christian. When we got to the phase in which we would start working on making an improvement in me, he told me that I had demons and then asked me if he could pray for me. I thought he meant to pray for me in his house, from time to time. But then he started praying for me right there.
That was... not helpful. Also, kind of scary. So I never went back.
I actually went there because I was feeling suicidal. I felt that, despite his intentions, he banalized my issues.

[kelico]

I've seen a few therapists for various reasons. I have to say my psychologist helped me through my toughest time a few years ago, but every other experience was mostly bad. I don't see him anymore, but I still see my psychiatrist for my meds lol. I told him about being ace the last time I saw him...and he was...not so receptive? He seemed like he hadn't heard of it before, and I felt awkward explaining it to him. He more or less said that it just had to do with my social anxiety...and I was using it as an "excuse" not to be more social. Uhhhh. So yeah. Mixed results, but mostly not so great.

[Lady Valacri]

Dear Gods, don't get me started. I was sent as a teenager for "angst" because of my parent's divorce, even though I flourished after my mother left. My father uses therapy as a threat. He once told me that if I didn't quit my diet and start eating again, he'd throw me in therapy for an eating disorder. I have never had any luck with therapists. I had an older woman who was very Christian and kept trying to push me to go to church, even after I told her I was gay.

Another note, they never tell me anything I don't already know. I'll tell them about an event in my life and they proceed to lecture me about this and that and wont let me stop them so I can either explain myself or tell them I already know. In my case, it was a huge waste of money. shouldn't have to pay for someone to listen to my problems and then berate me for my choices.

[nolongerinterested...]

I go to a therapist mostly to talk about my feelings because I have no friends or family close by, other than my husband and children. I have really bad social anxiety and I'm bipolar. I talk to her about my irrational fears and she is always very receptive and has never made me feel anything but normal. She is fully aware of my weird non-romantic, non-physical relationship I have with my husband. She is very supportive and I am thankful for her. I have seen psychiatrists and therapists before that just made me feel worse about myself, and that caused me to stop going for over 4 years. But I got so depressed a few months ago that I knew I had to find a new one and I think I found the best. And this thread reminds me that I need to call her tomorrow to schedule a visit. So thank you! :D

[Guest]

Oof my experience with a therapist was horrible.

I know they aren't all terrible, but the 5 sessions just left such a horrid taste in my mouth I refuse to ever go to one again.

*sigh* where do I even begin?

I had gone in because of suicidal thoughts/depression, and the lady just kept going on and on for three sessions about how the community I live in needs love and attention "the bread" but is only given "water" and thinks money can buy everything???

Also, she assumed that the source of all my problems was that I didn't have a boyfriend and thought I thought I was somehow "incomplete" without one? I mean she didn't even ask if I was a lesbian? I would have thought that would be some sort of preliminary question....Anyways I tried to explain how I had no interest in romance, much less a boyfriend....That led to two sessions of her trying to teach me how to "open up to people" and "trust people".

Gah, and she was supposed to be the expert therapist for teenagers in the area....... O.0

[Calvin]

I've seen several different therapists/counsellors over about 5 years. Some have been useless and some amazing. I definitely think a good therapist can really help someone but bad one's can be really traumatic for people, it's finding the right person.

I've never mentioned sexuality with a therapist as that wasn't the reason I was seeing them, but I think if I saw one now then I might.