Firefly Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 Hi there. I am new here, and I am so glad I found this site!! I have been asexual all my life (though I tend to identify as lesbian, mostly because I think it would be easier to find a woman who would be willing to spend her life with me without having sex, and I'm more emotionally/romantically attracted to women). I assumed that there were no other people like me, or that those who were *wanted* a sex drive and were getting psychological help. While I've had psychological help for other problems, I've never really felt a need to 'fix' my sex drive. I just don't have one, and don't reallycare. I also really don't understand how others "need" sex, or how they talk about feeling really bad when they don't get it. Just not something I've ever experienced. I know that the DSM considers this a problem in need of treatment, but only if the person wants it. I don't see it as that at all. I'm just glad there are others who have no sex drive and don't want one either. The media and the rest of the world put such a huge emphasis on it that it really does feel like I am the only one. Now I know I'm not. YAY. FireFly Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 Hi! I know what you mean. I spent a long time telling myself that there was something wrong with me and I needed to get "fixed", but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, because I didn't really want to get fixed. Accepting myself was brilliant. I also have no idea what people are going on about when they talk about how they "have" to have sex. Sometimes my friends try to explain it to me but I still have no idea... Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Vice Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 Firefly, I'm a 34-year-old asexual man who's a virgin and used to identify himself as "gay." Why gay? Certainly not because I sexually desired other men--I didn't. I think penises look gross, including my own, which I NEVER look at! I labeled myself gay because EVERYBODY assumes I'm gay because (1) I wear pastel Miami Vice/Don Johnson style clothes and (2) I'm ROMANTICALLY attracted to other men (not sexually). FYI, I've never been romantically or sexually attracted to females ever. Guh-ross! Anyway, I was a member of a gay website, but was ostrcized because of the clothes I said I wore and the fact that I didn't desire sex. Just a week ago, before the gay website closed down, someone suggested maybe I was a "real, asexual person." I read the definitions of asexuality here and was nodding, yep, that's me! An Asexual man who wants a ROMANTIC relationship with another handsome man. Comments, anyone? --Mike Vice Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted December 28, 2002 Share Posted December 28, 2002 Hi firefly! I'm also an asexual female who identifies or has identified in the past as a lesbian also -I'm struggling with my labels now but I think I consider myself to be a "lesbian affiliated asexual" although the affiliated part sounds a bit businesslike. Anyway welcome! Kate Link to post Share on other sites
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