Jamesasaur Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Hey, I am just wondering if you can want to have sex with someone else without it being sexual attraction. For example, wanting sex with someone who you care deeply about and want to show that affection? Would that fall under emotional/sensual attraction? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gizamaluke Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Or would it fall under Demisexual? I think that you can have sex with someone without it being sexual attraction, and it's known as casual sex, but in regards to someone you care about? I don't know. Personally I've never been in the position to find out, but I suppose if you like someone enough and you're comfortable, you can do whatever you want to each other, as long as both people consent. I mean, no offence, but it could also be sexual tension. Like the kind I have between myself and another person. There's nothing going on between us, we're not attracted to one another, but a distance has been created because we see each other as opposing genders and there's a 'sexual' gulf between us that makes getting to know one another more difficult. An attempt to kiss her or ask her out might resolve this tension, but for now whenever left alone we'll just shuffle about and stare at our own feet until the day when we no longer go to the same classes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kulosle Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Yes you totally can. I have a high academic interest in sex. And I do sexual things with others that i wouldn't normally initiate myself, because i like them and want to make them happy. That being said. It's impossible to tell what it is for you. I wouldn't worry about it too much. if you feel like having sex then do it. (also i love your avatar, thats my favorite anime and maybe show in general) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesasaur Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 haha, Thanks. I love Code Geass, binge watched it a couple months back and is just one amazing show with great characters. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 AVEN defines sexual attraction as "the desire for partnered sexual contact with someone else, to share one's sexuality with them" .. so I guess if it's not something you are doing for yourself (for yourself would be, you feel you cannot be fully satisfied without sharing sex with someone) ..if for example you are doing it because you know *they* want and enjoy it, but you wouldn't do it if they didn't initiate and want it, then I don't think that would be sexual attraction? it's just you wanting to please your partner/friend/etc but *wanting* to have sex with them to show affection (as opposed to wanting to kiss or cuddle or snuggle to show affection) sounds more like Grey-A? Grey A (taking AVENs definition of sexual attraction into account) is "desiring partnered sexual contact only under rare circumstances or under certain specific circumstances" sensual attraction by the way is wanting to do everything *except* genital stimulation with/by each other. so like, kissing, cuddling, snuggling all those things.. just no need for pants to come off unless you with want to be naked, and it's not sexual until you are involving each other's genitals to experience sexual pleasure. So I personally think what you described sounds like Grey-A however there wasn't really enough info to be sure. you are free to label yourself as you choose though of course :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 so I guess if it's not something you are doing for yourself (for yourself would be, you feel you cannot be fully satisfied without sharing sex with someone) ..if for example you are doing it because you know *they* want and enjoy it, but you wouldn't do it if they didn't initiate and want it, then I don't think that would be sexual attraction? it's just you wanting to please your partner/friend/etc That'd be the primary example I'd have thought of, too - having sex in order to please a partner who is (allo)sexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I agree with PanFicto. I feel very unsastisfied if I can't be sensual with my partner because I feel sensual attraction after a close emotional bond and therefore I desire to do sensual stuff with them. I do not feel sexual attraction or do I have innate desire to have sex with my partner but I want it because my partner really wants it lol I also think sex is interesting. It's fun being kinky :) However, it will never be a necessity to me. I could live without it. Sex is like sky divng. I don't have to have it but if my partner wants to go sky diving with me from time to time, I get excited about it too. In my opinion, you can want sex for many different reasons other than feeling sexual attraction or innate desire to have partnered sex :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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