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How does loneliness feel?


Don't Sex Me Bro

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Don't Sex Me Bro

DISCLAIMER: May cause a case of WTFs

I've been reading about how several in our community feel lonely. I feel so alien sometimes. When people say that they're lonely, I become somewhat sad that I don't exactly have any idea how that feels. Living alone was the absolute best time of my life, and I can't wait to do it again. I know that when my dog dies I'll feel lonely, but is that the same as longing for another human with whom to share your life every day?

/* Rambling starts here */

Even during the divorce I never felt the need to mourn about it, but was absolutely elated to see the divorce decree. I oftentimes wished that I had made renting me an apartment a clause in the pre-nup so I wouldn't be homeless while looking for a job (and any job will do at this point). I don't know how much longer I'll reasonably be able to refuse to accept food stamps. My dog and I would live off the land in the mountains if I didn't hate snow so much. Maybe I'd better learn to start liking it, I guess.

Still, I wonder if I lived with a person I was confident didn't want that sex stuff, and I could be good-looking again without repercussion, if that would make a difference.

/* End ramble here */

So, getting back on track, can loneliness be described, or is it something you just recognize when it happens? Am I simply apathetic about this particular subject, or is it possible that the divorce will hit me suddenly sometime in the future (hopefully not at an interview). I'm only like this with regards to interpersonal, non platonic relationships, so there was probably my answer. ARGH, so confused right now. At any rate, I'll be locating a clinic to see if I should be worried about it.

Job search continues as does life.

Thanks for reading.

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What I typically identify as loneliness is more 'pining', I think :lol: I don't feel lonely when I'm alone (I'm typically quite happy in my own company), I feel lonely when the one person I want to be with, isn't here. I get it when I have romantic feelings for someone, because you have a draw, a hunger for that person and when they're not around it brings your mood down if you dwell on it.

That said, after several of my relationships ended I didn't feel particularly lonely or sad - because I'd held on for so long that my romantic feelings for the other person had diminished greatly, maybe even disappeared. It was just a relief to be out of it, really.

Before I ever had a romantic relationship I really liked the idea of it and had a similar feeling - almost like I liked a person already, and missed them somehow. In between relationships I'll think about it, or see other people in relationships, and experience that longing again.

In a platonic sense, I feel lonely when I want to talk, want to connect with someone, and no one is around. I'm left on my own with my thoughts when I want to be sharing and discussing them. It's a want to connect with no outlet.

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Loneliness is when you're surrounded by others but can only think about yourself and no matter how much they try to get to you, you keep pushing them away.

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I don't feel so bad about being alone in general and I agree with b88. Loneliness is something I feel when I miss somebody. I felt lonely after my dogs died. I now feel lonely because my partner left me. It feels like somebody pulled out your heart and you feel empty and dead, deep inside. You sometimes seek friends but in vain, because the only being who can fill the void in your soul is the being who left. Sometimes that person is still physically there but doesn't care about you any longer, which makes the wound hurt even more and makes you feel even lonelier than if that person weren't physically there. Loneliness is certainly the most painful of all feelings.

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I would say that Rising Sun sums it up nicely. At least with my experiences with loneliness. For me, loneliness is more of a feeling than a state of being. It usually manifests itself in the form of self-pity, self-loathing, depression and / or moodiness, and has to do with the lack of someone or someones in your life. Some people like being alone and operate better alone. Being alone and feeling lonely don't always have to be the same thing. You can be physically alone and be the happiest person in the world. You can physically be with 100 people and feel incredibly lonely. It's born of a desire for companionship and understanding and that desire not being met. For me, it's basically the feeling of wanting companionship, or at least one person I can talk to easily about anything to, and not getting it.

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Don't Sex Me Bro

What I typically identify as loneliness is more 'pining', I think :lol: I don't feel lonely when I'm alone (I'm typically quite happy in my own company), I feel lonely when the one person I want to be with, isn't here. I get it when I have romantic feelings for someone, because you have a draw, a hunger for that person and when they're not around it brings your mood down if you dwell on it.

That said, after several of my relationships ended I didn't feel particularly lonely or sad - because I'd held on for so long that my romantic feelings for the other person had diminished greatly, maybe even disappeared. It was just a relief to be out of it, really.

Before I ever had a romantic relationship I really liked the idea of it and had a similar feeling - almost like I liked a person already, and missed them somehow. In between relationships I'll think about it, or see other people in relationships, and experience that longing again.

In a platonic sense, I feel lonely when I want to talk, want to connect with someone, and no one is around. I'm left on my own with my thoughts when I want to be sharing and discussing them. It's a want to connect with no outlet.

Loneliness is when you're surrounded by others but can only think about yourself and no matter how much they try to get to you, you keep pushing them away.

I don't feel so bad about being alone in general and I agree with b88. Loneliness is something I feel when I miss somebody. I felt lonely after my dogs died. I now feel lonely because my partner left me. It feels like somebody pulled out your heart and you feel empty and dead, deep inside. You sometimes seek friends but in vain, because the only being who can fill the void in your soul is the being who left. Sometimes that person is still physically there but doesn't care about you any longer, which makes the wound hurt even more and makes you feel even lonelier than if that person weren't physically there. Loneliness is certainly the most painful of all feelings.

I would say that Rising Sun sums it up nicely. At least with my experiences with loneliness. For me, loneliness is more of a feeling than a state of being. It usually manifests itself in the form of self-pity, self-loathing, depression and / or moodiness, and has to do with the lack of someone or someones in your life. Some people like being alone and operate better alone. Being alone and feeling lonely don't always have to be the same thing. You can be physically alone and be the happiest person in the world. You can physically be with 100 people and feel incredibly lonely. It's born of a desire for companionship and understanding and that desire not being met. For me, it's basically the feeling of wanting companionship, or at least one person I can talk to easily about anything to, and not getting it.

Thanks to you all for helping me understand. At least I think I'm beginning to, at least. It seems that loneliness is generally feeling like there's something missing. What feels missing depends on the person, like when I missed my dog when she had to stay overnight at the vet. I missed her like crazy, crying all night. Couldn't wait to see her again. So I have experienced loneliness, which is kind of a relief. Thanks again!

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I'd hazard a guess in saying that everyone experiences loneliness in some form or another in their lifetime. Even the so called "popular" people who find themselves surrounded by many people. They may face a different struggle, but it is still loneliness the same. The loner would just like another person to talk to, for companionship or understanding. The popular person with many "friends" would like for once, to have those friends be real and actually care for them as opposed to their social status. These are generalizations of course. Not everyone fits the mold, but I do believe everyone has loneliness at some point or another (based off the belief that humans are wired for the desire for relationships with each other, no matter how introverted you are). Family, friends, significant other, coworkers/accomplices, etc. We all desire something from another or other people. And at some point, this desire will not be met or will feel not to have been met (loneliness).

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Calligraphette_Coe

It's like Groundhog's Day for the emotions-- your emotional groundhog sees its shadow and goes back underground for 6 more mortal lives of lonely slumber while the cold winter world goes on without pity or springtime above you.

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Don't Sex Me Bro

It's like Groundhog's Day for the emotions-- your emotional groundhog sees its shadow and goes back underground for 6 more mortal lives of lonely slumber while the cold winter world goes on without pity or springtime above you.

That sounds like isolation as well. It didn't occur to me that loneliness was closely connected to it.

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I like being my myself most of the time. There are some times when I get a bit, not exactly lonely, more like just wishing for a best friend. That comes about when I want to do some activity or travel some place that I'd feel a bit silly or out of place by myself & I have no one available to go with me.

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I used to love being lonely when I didn't know how is to have real friends, but after I made strong friendships and they left I felt lonely, my dog also died and it devastated me and being with my parents was worse than being alone. Now I don't feel that way anymore and I'm away from them

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The feeling of loneliness for me is when you start having some thoughts that only come by when you feel lonely. You suddenly feel a bit sad, contemplative. When I feel alone I feel like avoiding to have anyone around me, so people don't see me like this.

It seems like you are the only person around, or on the planet. Like there is nobody you could express yourself to, nobody that understands how it feels, while your mind tries to straighten your thoughts.

It is the definition of feeling down.

Sometimes it gets desperating.You feel lonely and by thinking about it you delve into it even more and you feel even more lonely. You long for everything and anyone whom you could be together. You long for a better time.

As a side note, good luck with finding a job and all that. ;)

Have some :cake:

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I felt loneliness for a short period of time when I discovered my asexuality because nobody around me understood it. Some accepted it to be supportive and they meant well but it's not that same as "I totally get it!" Suddenly, I had no one to talk to even though I was constantly surrounded by the loved ones. That's to me is loneliness! There's people around you but you can't relate to a single soul. Luckily, it didn't last very long because one of my friends came out to me as an asexual and we shared our experiences with each other :) Everything was A-okay after that lol

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I thought that loneliness was just a concept that i didn't go through, There were times where I knew I was alone, but I didn't feel lonely at all.

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nerdperson777

I used to not care about having friends. Out of practicality, I only needed my parents to financially support me. Then college happened. No parents to hold me down, no one from my high school that came to the same university I was particularly friends with, I practically came alone. I was used to be distant from any friends I had. It was actually rare that anyone knew where I lived. But in college, being by myself was not enough. I needed connections if I wanted to further my career. I made friends with two girls in my suite. We're really good friends, but I got closer to one of them. Since we had to live together, I had to become closer to these people. They got inside my bubble that I used to distance people from me. The friend I got closer to, I did just about everything with her. We went through so much together in just these few years that I never thought I could ever do with the friends I had in high school. I was really attached to that one friend.

Then her brother started attending school with us. I feel like he's taking her away from me. I'm not the main one who we can enjoy each other's company with anymore. I almost feel like I'm a stuffed toy being thrown into the back corner. Almost everyday I hear, "I wonder what my brother's doing" and "he sent me some messages". I wish I had a friend who cared about me as much as she does her brother. I'm now by myself a lot. I want to return back to what I was before, content with being alone. "Real" fun practically messed with my life so I need to be a robot again and focus on my academics. I slightly hate the guy, not because he's stealing my friend, but he made an assumption about me with no basis. But I have this "I always want to help people" mentality so I helped him out or offered to help on a few things. I hope that doesn't cause either of them to think I like him when it's quite the opposite. That would be an ugly mess.

My experience is purely platonic so it might be different from what the thread meant.

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