leopardzombie Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I am so glad that asexuality exists, first and foremost...I never knew it did until maybe a couple of months ago. I always thought that something was wrong with me. I haven't always been this way. I used to have a healthy sex life, yes. I have had boyfriends in the past and everything was pretty normal and "sexual." I have been single for almost three years now, and I realized I was different when I was with my most recent ex back in 2011/2012. We were hardly ever having sex anymore. I never wanted it. It's not because it wasn't good (it was fabulous!), but I just never craved it like I used to. I was really worried and I thought something was physically wrong with me. I had all sorts of tests run, numerous times, and everything came back normal. We ended up breaking up in the end (which was for the best because he was a jerk anyway), but it didn't make me feel any better about my lack of a sex drive. Over the next couple of years, I stayed single, and I still am. I don't consider myself celibate, because it's not like I choose not to have sex, I just don't really want it. My best friend asks me, "How do you do it?? I am going crazy over here without it!!!" I just shrug it off like it's nothing. I think about it every now and then, and I wouldn't oppose it if I did get into a serious relationship again, but it's not something I have to have. I was talking to a friend of mine a couple of months back and I was telling her about my situation, and she said, "Oh, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. You are probably just asexual!" Hmmmmm....so I googled it, and BOOM! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I fit into it like a glove...almost. I do experience my moments where I want to have sex sometimes, but for the most part I really want companionship. I really miss having a boyfriend for the sake of spending time together, talking about everything, going places together, and whatnot. Sex is just an extra. It's not a necessity to me. Honestly, I'd rather cuddle and watch a movie. I guess that's what the gray area is for? I don't know. I'm new to all this lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Angeliss Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Welcome! That sense of relief is pretty common around here. We've come from all walks of life to find this place, and to find that nothing is wrong with us. It is what the gray area is for. There are asexuals who like sex, and those who do not. There are those who want romantic relationships and those who don't. There are some who feel sexual attraction in limited situations. You'll fit in no where you are on the spectrum. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I really miss having a boyfriend for the sake of spending time together, talking about everything, going places together, and whatnot. Sex is just an extra. It's not a necessity to me. Honestly, I'd rather cuddle and watch a movie. I guess that's what the gray area is for? I don't know. I'm new to all this lol. I miss my past relationship also. But that is another story. Cuddling is under rated. Right now I have to deal with the idea of being single and alone. At least I have a cat to snuggle with when he comes around. Welcome once again. Link to post Share on other sites
thatotherguy57 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I was talking to a friend of mine a couple of months back and I was telling her about my situation, and she said, "Oh, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. You are probably just asexual!" Hmmmmm....so I googled it, and BOOM! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I fit into it like a glove...almost. I do experience my moments where I want to have sex sometimes, but for the most part I really want companionship. I really miss having a boyfriend for the sake of spending time together, talking about everything, going places together, and whatnot. Sex is just an extra. It's not a necessity to me. Honestly, I'd rather cuddle and watch a movie. I guess that's what the gray area is for? I don't know. I'm new to all this lol. This sounds a bit like me. A friend of mine suggested about three or four years ago that I may be asexual. I didn't look it up at the time, I looked it up when I ran across a YouTube video on asexuality in December 2013. After I loaded up AVEN's webpage, and started reading up, and everything clicked; my entire life came into focus for the first time. It was the most liberating experience of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
leopardzombie Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 I miss my past relationship also. But that is another story. Cuddling is under rated. Right now I have to deal with the idea of being single and alone. At least I have a cat to snuggle with when he comes around. Welcome once again. Yes it is a good feeling to know there is nothing wrong with me. I have two cats I snuggle with, but I still miss the companionship of a boyfriend sometimes :( Link to post Share on other sites
Burgundy Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Welcome! :) I think a lot of AVEN members feel the same relief as you did. I know I did. I just thought to myself one day, 'Why am I so frigid?' and I had a bit of an idea of what asexuality was, but it never occurred to me that I could identify as it, until I did some research :) xx Link to post Share on other sites
Naosuu Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Moving this thread from The Gray Area to Welcome Lounge. Naosuu, The Gray Area Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
TheLandsBeyond Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Welcome! This is such an awesome example of how sexuality can change over time! Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Welcome to AVEN! So glad you're feeling relieved and content with this new part of yourself! It was certainly a weight off my shoulders as well. We're all different! I hope you enjoy your stay! : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Hi and welcome to AVEN! Thanks for sharing your story. I think you'll really like it here and fit in just fine. Happy almost Halloween! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Hedgie Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
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