lgbtqA

[nika71]

Is there anyone else here who does NOT consider themselves to be on the LGBTQA spectrum? I am still new to all this and have been looking for resources in my area, but all I can find it resources for LGBT. Ace is as different from LGBT as it is from heterosexual so this is not really helpful to me or something I identify with. Is this common?

[BadAlchemy]

I really don't feel that I rightfully fall under this umbrella, but I've only come out to one person. That might all change once I do and my social network at large starts pointing fingers at me. Not necessarily in a hostile way, but more in a definitive way. Word on the wire is that we are the purple-headed stepchild of LGBTQIA. During Pride parades, we don't get a float, but more like a Radio Flyer wagon. LOL. Anyway, I guess I'll just have to see what the future holds.

[Ficulnean]

My universitys LBQ . . . I'm not even going to try. Has been very open to me, but I do not feel like we fall there (I was just making sure they weren't already doing something for awareness week and they were very nice about it). Mind you, my feeling of fitting in here is more implicit than explicit, because I'm actually interacting with this community. If I wasn't, I wouldn't think I fit in here either. So, maybe we don't fit in their but should?

[butterflydreams]

It's cute that we get a letter, but I don't particularly feel as though I'm under that umbrella. Though I would be quite miffed if those who were under it didn't respect and attempt to understand me. In my experience, people who identify as under that umbrella are respectful. They may be different, but at least they should be able to understand our experience.

I will say though, it would be nice if we were solidly under it. Hell, trans* is included, and that's at least as different a concept from LGB as we are in my opinion. In that way, the LGBT acronym is showing its weakness. Might be time to do something else that's more general and openly inclusive. I once saw GSM, which is gender and sexual minorities, not global system for mobile communications. That's a step in the right direction I think.

[Ficulnean]

It's cute that we get a letter, but I don't particularly feel as though I'm under that umbrella. Though I would be quite miffed if those who were under it didn't respect and attempt to understand me. In my experience, people who identify as under that umbrella are respectful. They may be different, but at least they should be able to understand our experience.

I will say though, it would be nice if we were solidly under it. Hell, trans* is included, and that's at least as different a concept from LGB as we are in my opinion. In that way, the LGBT acronym is showing its weakness. Might be time to do something else that's more general and openly inclusive. I once saw GSM, which is gender and sexual minorities, not global system for mobile communications. That's a step in the right direction I think.

I remeber a forum with alternatives, half of which were longer than lqb, and I have proven I have enough difficultly remembering that one. but this one actually, I don't know, just sounds right. Plus, it directly apporpriates a bit of the minorities culture in, which has good standing in human rights cases.

[knout]

I'll always consider myself an ally even if I may never go to a pride or do anything about it, I am an ally.

To discover asexuality I had to question myself and the first answers are usually covered in LGBTQ and I felt the sense of being outside the norm (hetero) which means I'll always be understanding of the struggles one might find if they feel they don't fit right in that heteronormativity.

So I'll always be an A, whether it's an ally or asexual I don't really care :)

[thatotherguy57]

I'm opposed to our joining the LGBTQ+ grouping. I consider myself an ally to them, but they are sexual, and we are not, so to me it makes no sense to join them. If we join them, we get a boost to visibility, but in the long run, I feel we will be doing a disservice to the entire asexual community. We should forge our own path; ally with LGBTQ+, yes; join, no.

[WünderBâhr]

Not all whom would fall under LGBTQ+ are sexual. To hold only to that would be dismissing the many homo-, bi-, and panromantic asexual members of the community who do identify with LGBTQ+ or consider themselves in solidarity as allies.

[Artistofnoname]

I don't associate with it because as a Christian I can't personally endorse those orientations. That doesn't mean I hate them or anything like that. I just don't agree and as long as we can respect each others differences we can get along.

I believe asexuality should just be its own thing entirely cause that is what it is essentially.

[Xavy]

I don't think asexuality belongs under the LGBT umbrella because it represents sexual people, and we are not sexual. That said, I am a massive ally of the LGBT community.

[Tessc]

I consider myself an ally, but besides posts on certain facebook pages, I haven't seen any kind of support from that community for asexuals. Both "Have A Gay Day" and "Lizzy the Lezzy" on facebook are brilliant pages, but they are the only places I've ever seen asexual posts. I'd like to be able to include myself under that umbrella, but I'm not sure I fit.

[nika71]

Thanks for all the replies to this!

[Burgundy]

I've heard stories that put me off the idea of identifying with the LGBT+ community, e.g. aces not being included, disrespected, being told they didn't belong there and that the A stood for allies... so I identify as an ally for the LGBT+ community, but not under it myself. Maybe in a perfect world, I could identify as being under the umbrella... but then in a perfect world, an LGBT+ community wouldn't be needed! xx

[S.Kobold]

I honestly think we are part of the LGBTQA+ spectrum. It is a constantly evolving movement, that is not the same group to group - but broadly; they campaign for the rights and visibility of misunderstood and minority identities - and we are they.

You shouldn't have to agree with everything they do, or say. And I doubt you'll get along with everyone in the movement. But I appreciate the fact that without them, and their efforts for the last couple of decades or so, it would be a less safe world for me to be open about my asexuality and there would be more barriers for me to overcome.

[Skwid]

I would prefer not to fall under the umbrella, after personally being told that I did not belong there by LGBTQIA members because asexuality wasn't a 'real' identity. This was a year or two ago, but I still remember those times in a negative light, so I would prefer we be separate.

I'm an ally by all means, but I don't want to be made to feel like I'm nothing again. It's not a great feeling at all.

[AceInhibitor]

I don't feel like I belong there but then I'm heteroromantic so aside from the lack of sex bit, and the fact that I majorly misused my privelege as a straight person when I was younger (I'm not proud of it) I personally feel like I don't have the right. I mean maybe in future if it turns out I am bi/panromantic (still questioning that part) but at the moment I don't think I really deserve a place in the community. As to whether all people on the asexual spectrum belong there, I don't know. I guess so, even if we don't face marginalisation in the same way others do.

[BadAlchemy]

Reading more of these replies, I can totally relate to the BIG difference about Aces in that we, for the most part, don't partake in sex, while the rest of the rainbow can be hornier than thou. And it's so true. I am definitely an ally to the LGBTQI spectrum and work with lots of great people who fall under those colors. But it got me thinking: what if I do come out to any of them? I could actually fathom a couple of them being like, "Oh, c'mon! That doesn't really exist... " When I was confused and identified as "Hetero Male", I really had a tough time as my former partners were less than happy with my behavior or, more to the point, display of indifference. I would even compare myself to other males of hetero orientation, and I just wasn't as "connected" as they were with their girlfriends.

[aceymcaceace]

I personally don't feel comfortable being part of the LGBT etc. umbrella.. A lot of things tick me off about it, like the whole A stands for Ally argument and the fact that FCKH8, a huge part of LGBT awareness didn't even believe that asexuality was real until it profited them! They told asexuals that they were attention seekers and only apologised when they realised they could sell asexual pride shirts!

For me it just seems like a problematic movement with it's own injustices.. It doesn't seem to benefit aces very much, either.

[imgone]

I think queer spaces should be open to asexuals, but I'm not sure there is much overlap in experiences. (With the exception of bi- pan- homoromantic aces, who live the overlap, but that's not what I'm talking about.) I think at least, in the case of the lgb and the t, there is some overlap in experience and nature of oppression. In my high school GSA, some of the things I talked about were alien to everyone else, and I had mixed feelings about being expected to educate others. I definitely think both asexual and queer communities have things to learn from one another, for instance romantic orientation is something interesting to consider for anyone, and that's from us. But I don't know how useful a lgbtq community would be to an ace, and how useful an ace community would be to an lgbtq person, with some exceptions of course, including lgbtq partners of aces.

Also, as a lot of people have already said, being andro/heteroromantic I don't feel entirely comfortable calling myself queer. Privilege and all that.

[Guest Sheka4]

I personally beleive asexuals belong under the umbrella, we are a non-heterosexual orientation and yes while some of us aren't sexual and some are that doesn't mean just because you're not that you can't get under the umbrella. I feel that we belong, its just that we are ignored.

[Astrochelonian]

I once saw GSM, which is gender and sexual minorities, not global system for mobile communications.

Ha! I also always think of cellular systems when I hear that acronym.

And as for the topic at hand, I don't identify with that umbrella (I see asexuality as a lack of attraction instead of an attraction outside the norm).

[jksummer]

I don't. In my notably tolerant city, 'our lives' magazine had an article about the invisibly queer in order that the LGBT community might increase compassion and awareness of them. We were not mentioned when they listed examples. Talk about invisible. Maybe some LGBT associations give us lip service, but my feeling is that by and large they don't consider us under their umbrella. And neither do I.

[Lisi]

I don't. In my notably tolerant city, 'our lives' magazine had an article about the invisibly queer in order that the LGBT community might increase compassion and awareness of them. We were not mentioned when they listed examples. Talk about invisible. Maybe some LGBT associations give us lip service, but my feeling is that by and large they don't consider us under their umbrella. And neither do I.

Actually, I have no problem considering myself part of the Q-section in LGBTQ. Asexuality may be very different from (other) sexualities, but isn't being queer all about being different? I find it strangely comforting to think so.

[Skywolf]

Personally, I view the LGBTQA+ as been a general "not cishet sexual". I view it as a (needing to be re-labled to be more encompassing) thing that could and should encourage acceptance of all variations of orientations and help broaden people's understanding. I do consider asexuality to be in that, and I do associate with that. Not completely, as a sort of side note on that asexuality needs a lot more awareness work than other things. But yes. Because asexuality, like homosexuality, is just another major "not heterosexuality". Which is why it has a letter.

*shrug*

I would prefer everything to not be so divided, general acceptance is the dream.

[AccountKiller]

.

[Breathing....]

I don't really see the point in being apart of the LGBTQIABCDEFGHILOVEALPHABETSOUP umbrella... there's really not much that needs to be done for asexuals as a whole. Sure, it would be nice to be more visible so people who are wondering if there's something wrong with them can find the community.

I agree on the 'alphabet soup' issue. And to be honest with most of what you said. I think that the LGBTQIA is getting complex and huge and that asexual a would be 'lost' within it. I also think that as sexualities go there is kind if a pyramid. So:

sexuality at the top (everyone has one)

Asexual and Sexual (people generally go into either of these)

Then there are lists of different variations within these 2 (pretty long lists as people mix and match what suits themselves). There is always the grey area where people aren't sure, I'm reminded of being told 'there are exceptions to every rule' at school.

Long post short, I think if awareness is what we are hoping for (I am) we probably won't really get it under the LGBTQIA banner as it is just so big and we are small and as EventuallyMikkjal says, we aren't looking for anything that isn't already being fought for by them. And as with anything nothing stops us from being allies and/or identifying as both asexual and LGBTQIA.

[cheeringselenator]

I'm not really sure. On one hand, I feel like everyone else in the LGBTQ group are fighting to have relationship/sex with whomever they love, while aces are wanting to not have sex. But at the same time, queer just means different from the norm, so then asexuals could fit in the queer community. So I don't really know where we fit in with that. I consider myself and ally, but I'm not sure if asexuals are really part of it..

[zebraace]

I don't know where I stand on this. It seems like we should be our own group because we are not sexual, but at the same time we are not heterosexual, so should be included in the acronym.

[marki]

I don't feel as though it fits me.

[Corretto]

...all I know is I'm ACESPRESSO...double-shot!

[who can't help signing out "Cia ]