Agent Shade Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 I think I should have the nickname of Research Paper Guy or something. I talk about it so much on this site. This actually isn't required for the paper, but I'd like to include the age range for when people discover they are asexual. I was suggested that because this is for research information in a formal setting, I decided to make this poll on survery monkey. Plus, I'm gonna post it on other sites. https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/KTNGB33 Thank you to anyone that votes! :) Link to post Share on other sites
coyote55 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I put 18-23, as it was during that time period that I began to realize that my total lack of interest in sex wasn't just about being a "late bloomer"- it was a fundamental difference I had from most people. I didn't hear about asexuality until a couple of years ago (when I was 57) and it was fascinating to finally discover there are quite a few of us out there. Link to post Share on other sites
RoswellValentine Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 17, though I knew about asexuality for some time before I identified as asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I Put 18 to 23, I dabbled with sex to keep in with my peers, I absolutely hated every second of the act of sex, I only had sex about 5 times with 2 people, I can honestly say that I was glad when it was over with. I'm not going to lie, it has affected my relationships with other partners, not that I had that many, I have never had a long term relationship, I doubt I've been in relationships for more than 3 months out of my entire life, my longest relationship lasted 28 days, that was in 1991, I've not been in a relationship since. When I first had sex, I dreaded it, I did it, like I said, I hated every second of it, being a silly male I tried it again, another 4 times, still didn't like it, by 19, I stopped trying, impotence set in, I was in heaven as I knew I could no longer have sex, that made my life so much easier. I didn't discover the term asexual until I was 40, when I first used a computer Link to post Share on other sites
Skwid Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I figured it out when I was 14 or 15, after googling reasons why I felt the way I did. I thought I was broken because everybody was always having crushes and... well, you know. I remember I had told my mother about it, and she had replied that I was probably a 'late bloomer'. It's funny because she still believes I will have kids one day! Link to post Share on other sites
Brybry Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 19 personally. I think one of the biggest reasons for so may people discovering so late is simply how unheard of asexuality is, which is a shame. Don't know about you guys, but whenever I opened up to anyone about my dislike of sex I was told that it was unhealthy and that I should see a doctor which is so hurtful to hear. So I spent a great deal of time believing that I must have some health problem. This wouldn't happen if it were more widely recognised. I don't think many sexual people realise how upsetting it can be to realise that not only are you different and can't help it... but that the majority of people have never heard of what's different about you Link to post Share on other sites
Veranna Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I found out right about I turned 17. I randomly came across asexuality on a blog and it just kind of hit hard like, "this sounds like me. . ." I just thought I was messed up or something before. Link to post Share on other sites
cali87 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Like a month ago.. I'm just turning 27 right away. I always just assumed i was hetero with hang ups because well..i was not attracted to other girls so i "must" be attracted to guys, i wasn't aware neither was even an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Valja Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 18-19, I had to search on the Internet because it was obvious that I wasn't attracted to men and neither to women, I felt so different from the other people Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I put 18-23. I kind of knew something was off for a while, but I didn't really acknowledge it until a few months ago. I was 19 at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I have always known that I don't feel a desire for partnered sex (and since age 16/17, noticed that's one of the things that makes me different from most folks), I just didn't have the term "asexuality" for it until I found AVEN at age 38. Link to post Share on other sites
MadRat Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 26 and I wonder how I could be so blind for so long time. Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 31. I never really even thought about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Moved from Census to Announcements. Lady Girl (Ghoul), Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 42, after being introduced to the concept of asexuality. Prior to this I always regarded myself as hetero- with hang-ups. The reality, as I am discovering, is that I am a sex-phobic asexual. Not repulsed as other peoples sexuality doesn't cause repulsion, but an intense dread of being invited to take part in any form of close contact Link to post Share on other sites
Rooke Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I'm demi, but for me, I'd say 36 (last year). It wasn't until a few years ago I'd even heard of asexuals; previous to that, I only knew of asexual in the biological sense; i.e. a species that doesn't have male/female. The two mentions I saw of it were a BBC article on asexuality, and an awesome character in an awesome webcomic. (The webcomic is what prompted me to search for more information.) I had thought I was, well, mostly normal but just picky, though over the last few years (within the last decade) I started referring to myself, half-jokingly, as a "monosexual": only ever attracted to one person at a time (whoever I was in a relationship with). When I came to this site, and read up, I realized I wasn't the only person in the world like me (though, even within the Ace community, I seem to be a little odd). I definitely think visibility would help future Ace people discover themselves! Link to post Share on other sites
Amathy Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 So in the future such poles should ask: When did you feel something was 'off'? When did you realize you had no sexual attraction? When did you find the word asexuality? When did you start identifying as asexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Pleiades Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I discovered it when I met another asexual, and I realized when he started talking about it, it fit me perfectly. Then, I went into denial about it for a while, got really frustrated, I just wanted to be 'normal'. I tried everything, even experimenting with girls, but I've come to terms with it now, and I'm pretty content with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I took "discover" to mean "accepted" so my answer is 30-36. I have known sice I was a kid that there was something amiss about me. I used to view that something with wary aprehension and fear. I heard the word asexual used to describe sexuality in my early 20's but it was mocked so roundly that I hid from it and dove deep into my closet. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Chose 23-29 cause I only really discovered and connected to the term in this past year! I feel like I've always been ace, but I just had no clue that the orientation actually existed until recently. Link to post Share on other sites
Aisntllecxtual Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I think I was always asexual. In my early 20s (I had my first sexual experience a couple months shy of my 25th birthday), I looked up the work asexual in the dictionary, but the definition described the term as connected to reproduction, not orientation. I remember feeling (unbelievable how I can remember this as if it was yesterday) a tremendous letdown in reading the definition, was in turmoil, felt so alone, no recognition of how I was feeling. I closed the dictionary and closeted myself in a delusive state for a bit less than 30 years. I stayed single - didn't get married - until I was nearly 49. As marriage loomed, it seemed the lid of repression was flapping wildly - the subconscious on the verge of becoming conscious. I remember having crazy thoughts. Our marriage will be sexless and can serve as an example to other unions that intimacy need not be expressed sexually. It was a conclusion - more like fervent hope - based on what I thought was (how wrong I was) a similarly expressed disinterest in sex by my partner. No premarital sex was engaged in, no sex on the honeymoon, and it was a couple months after the wedding that my eyes opened as to the sexual interest my wife had. It set up a dynamic of her pursuing and me avoiding intercourse. When she succeeded in the pursuit, incessant pleas, I was numbingly passive in the acts, felt stone dead - disassociation was a blessed relief - and she was in extreme contrast animated and enjoying the experience tremendously. It was this zombie-like state, especially when contrasted to her liveliness that led me to search, to resume in the high-tech world what I had abandoned nearly 30 years previously. It was under the pressure cooker of sexual expectations of marriage that prompted me to google "asexual," that brought me to articles and AVEN, to my OMG moment. With just one click of the mouse, just minutes later, at age 51, I explicitly knew what I really always knew - I was/am asexual! Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Aisntllecxtual, it was after a lengthy stretch in a hetero pairing and seeing not just my own behavior but hers as well that convinced me, after collapsing several walls of denial, of what I had always known. What you describe happening post honeymoon was my day to day for years. Disassociation was indeed a relief! Link to post Share on other sites
glitchgirl Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I knew I wasn't into sex as a teen but I didn't really figure it out till now, 35. Link to post Share on other sites
Dana_LaBerge Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 If I could I'd put 11-25 because I knew I was different starting at 11, and somewhere in that range I started to use the term asexual as a joke and a bit of a self-jab. Only once I was 25 did I realize that there were others and that I wasn't fundamentally broken inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Old Member Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 ... Link to post Share on other sites
aceymcaceace Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Definitely felt asexual or at least less passionate about sex since my very early teens, but only found out about asexuality when I was about 15-16. Had a few good years of thinking I was mentally or physically ill before finding you guys. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Skywolf Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Sort of a slow realization. For years I assumed I was just..more conservative physically than my friends. Began to realize through high school that seeing anyone sexually didn't..really happen, but I didn't think much of it. Eventually when I heard about the term it clicked and I could really put a name to the feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
the bumbling rotifer Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 26. As for why it took me so long, I guess I always assumed that I'd be the same as everyone else once I had sex. Fortunately, I found AVEN before I forced myself into having it. Edit: 500 posts, yeaaaaaaaaaaah! Link to post Share on other sites
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