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Hello, this is my first time on this forum so please excuse me if I put this in the wrong section. Recently, more often than not I have been question my sexuality or lack of sexuality. Until now I have always Identified myself as heterosexual but not any more. I'm 17, male and never been in a relationship in my life nor have I ever kissed someone, or had any form of sexual contact with either gender. I first started questioning my lack of sexuality when I found AVEN. I've read many of the FAQ's and other information on here about asexuality and I am starting to think that I may be an asexual. But I have some questions. I masturbate, and I have for years. I quit for 2 years because of a religion I took up but also because I just wasn't interested in masturbating any more. I took up masturbating last year because I couldnt deal with the nocturnal emissions any more. I find the act of sexual intercourse disgusting, I fabricate a female body in my mind when I masturbate that can never exist in real life. If I ever were to come close to a woman I feel it would be way to awkward for me and would not feel right at all. I would rather be friends than go through the degrading actions of sexual intercourse. I also masturbate to relieve stress, and I have very bad OCD and focus on masturbating more for the stress release than the sexual release.Also more importantly, I feel like society at large is forcing me to be attracted to the opposite sex. If this makes sense I don't think I am attracted to the opposite sex, but I think, that I think I am attracted to them. (I hope that makes sense). Romantically, I've never had a crush on anyone male or female and have no desire to enter a relationship. I find all of that stuff unattractive (no pun intended). Lastly, I find the act of sexual intercourse unappealing and have no desire to have sex.

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I don't feel comfortable about talking to my friends about this so I came here where I can speak anonymously. I think my question is whether or not I am an asexual. I know I truly am the only person that can answer this question but I wanted to know what others think.

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First of all, welcome, comrade!

It makes sense to me that you might think you are attracted but really aren't. I thought I was heterosexual for a long time. I didn't know there was such a thing as romantic attraction. Society makes it really easy for us to think we are something just because that's what keeps being shoved into our heads.

You are free to masturbate even if you identify as asexual. Asexual doesn't mean 'no libido' or 'no sex drive'. Your actions do not define your sexual orientation. You can have sex all you want and still be an asexual, since asexuality is all about attraction. Since you say you have no desire for a sexual relationship with anyone, it is entirely possible that you are asexual. Possibly sex-repulsed, which is, of course, okay - as long as you don't condemn those who are sex-positive asexual or those who are sexual.

You may want to look into various romantic orientations as well to help you along the road of self-discovery.

Have some cake for your journey! :cake: and good luck to you! :)

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butterflydreams

@MoonWish: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Hey, Society, it's not cool to be shoving something into my head making me think I am that something when I'm really not.

Funny thing I realized recently about the whole asexual-masturbation/anythingelsediscountingoforientation thing. If a heterosexual person masturbates, are they still heterosexual? Of course. If a heterosexual person doesn't masturbate, are they still heterosexual? Of course.

And yes, romantic orientations are a thing. I know I can tell there's some kind of difference in my feelings towards men and women (not the case for all asexuals), I just couldn't tell what it was. Well, it's not sexual, that's for damn sure.

Oh, and welcome!

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I totally agree with MoonWish: you sound sex-repulsed to me. The amount of times you masturbate has absolutely nothing to do with whether you are asexual or not: it's all about the desire to have sex. You say that you have no desire to have sex with anyone which, by definition, would make you asexual. You can go through the general FAQ here: http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html#id

Hopefully it will be able to answer any questions you might have :)

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