koganusan Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Okay, some background: I'm an early to mid 20s more or less male grad student and political activist. I am asexual or close to it. Not sure what my romantic orientation is since I don't know for sure what romantic attraction feels like, but in any case I'm not currently looking for a relationship. I'm also a bit of an introvert, with three really close friends (two of which are my room mates) and a decent circle of sort-of friends and friendly acquaintances. I've known for quite some time that I seem to really like cuddling, but I've almost never had a chance to. A few weeks ago in a discussion with my other close friend (who is mostly an internet person who lives hundreds of miles away), I learned that she also enjoys purely platonic cuddling. Recently, she came to town to visit people and we ended up cuddling a lot, sometimes for hours at a time. It was incredible. It's also probably the majority of the physical contact of any sort I've experienced since I was a little kid. I'm not sure I can go back to being as touch starved as I was now that I know what the alternative is like. What do I do? How can I get cuddling on a regular basis without having to find a more conventional relationship? Quite frankly, I'm not even convinced I have time in my life for another close friendship. I have no idea how I would either meet someone new for cuddling or bring it up with one of my existing friends in a non-awkward way. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony05montana Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Just shop around amazon.com Link to post Share on other sites
TheKindredSoul Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Just shop around amazon.com HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D Link to post Share on other sites
a_friend Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 You could hook up with certified people. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronte Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 I think there's a place called cuddlr, where you can meet potential cuddle buddies... :) Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Well, how did you find your long-distance cuddly friend? Was there some social context there which can be repeated (locally) perhaps? I've found that it's much harder to find cuddle buddy type relationships than virtually anything else - simply because it tends to fall into grey areas between "just" friendship and doing stuff that's usually reserved for romantic relationships only. It's not impossible though. Link to post Share on other sites
anÃs Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 http://www.cuddlecomfort.com/ Link to post Share on other sites
raindrop8350 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I am looking for basically the same thing though I am older 53. Tired of forcing myself to please my husbands just to get minimal; cuddling out of it. I seldom want more then that. I am looking for basically the same thing though I am older 53. Tired of forcing myself to please my husbands just to get minimal; cuddling out of it. I seldom want more then that. Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 You don't find them :) They come to you lol That's how it happened to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Scarlet Spider Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Get drunk with a female friend. Although, you may get more than a cuddle. Or you could always get one of those anime nerd pillows and cuddle with it. Link to post Share on other sites
ranting ferret Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 yep, it's totally a thing: http://www.cuddleparty.com also, this may or may not work, but with some friends/people you know if it's not totally awkward, you could always start up the hello/goodbye hug or high fives/handshakes. just to initiate some friendly contact. if i'm talking with someone that we kinda click or at least have a decent conversation, at the end, i may ask if they're a hugging kind of person or prefer high fives or fist bumps. depending on their answer i'll offer what they said they're comfortable with. sometimes, even a high fiver will become more comfortable with me and offer a hug later in knowing each other. one person started hugging me after knowing me a month or so, simply because i asked first. it's probably not the same as what you're looking for, but it is one small step towards receiving more friendly contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Sakurastar Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I love cuddles too. I lack a cuddle buddy so my dog has to do. I would rather cuddle someone I knew than a stranger through. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I'd just buy a mannequin. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
a_friend Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I'd just buy a mannequin. Seriously. I thought what makes cuddling good is the comfort of mutual trust of another human being.................................... Link to post Share on other sites
genderirrelevant Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I went to a CuddleParty in early September in Seattle. It was interesting. I'm not sure if I'll go to another or not. The situation wasn't optimal. It was really hot so few people wanted extra body heat and also there was a majority of newbies who weren't used to diving in. I would love to have a cuddle buddy but I've realized I'm aromantic and I'd be too embarrassed to have someone in my home because I'm a slob. I expect the rest of my life to be as solitary as it's been so far. Link to post Share on other sites
lunadoon Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 You don't find them :) They come to you lol That's how it happened to me. Ditto Link to post Share on other sites
Fruity<3 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Get drunk with a female friend. Although, you may get more than a cuddle. Or you could always get one of those anime nerd pillows and cuddle with it. I do this (but with a dude) and then feel horrible and talk to them later about it. I've had 2 successful cuddle buddies in my life. Nothing more from them. I was forward with them in saying that I just wanted to cuddle, with no sex and no romantic relationship. They both respected me and it ended up like a booty call, but for an ace XD super delightful. Though I feel bad about it now... so it goes. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
littlepersonparadox Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 http://cuddlrapp.com/ here is the cuddler app if you want a cuddle buddy spontaneously. I would have used it but my boyfriend fulfills all my cuddly needs when he's around. Link to post Share on other sites
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