AliCrows Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Well! That was embarassing. I'm having a lot if computer problems so... sorr 'bout that. I was on a while back, a couple times, actually (obviously long enough that I completly forget my login info >.<)... so, if you remember me or my stuff, please forgive me if I said a lot of this on my last visit, I have a terrible memory... and a knack for being confused. o.O So this isn't really a "what am I" orientation post... I really just want to know what other people in similar situations have done. Ok. I am sexually attracted to women but almost soley romantically attracted to men (say, 9 times out of ten I fall for a dude, chick). I'm also annoyingly fluid, though not quite enough to make me more than kind of demisexual with men. So... screw lables, right? That's what everyone keeps telling me and I know it's mostly true but it doesn't really help with situations. For the past year I basically thought I was mostly gay. Girls seemed like the obvious choice and certainly if I actually could connect (that way) with one, it would be fantastic. But... I haven't... and I'm a very romantically oriented person who strongly prefers to be in a relationship (and it's been quite a while now since I have been...). So then lately, a mix between that damn fluidity and some attraction (romantic, possibly slightly sexual, idk) towards a couple of guys has made me rethink the whole thing... and wonder what the hell I should do. I've dated men in the past and had, for the most part, great relationships. I was able to deal with the sex part pretty well but that was starting to deteriorate towards the end. I kinda have a weird thing about male... parts. I don't know if it's a repulsed thing or what but between that and just not really being into it, it got kinda hard to mantain those relationships. Basically, I feel like I could handle a heterosexual relationship again, ideally if it was not super sexual, but not sure if I should try or if I do, how I should approach a partner about it...? I guess I just really want to know what other people with the whole split-orientation thing have done about it. Please be nice, I'm just some clueless person who's trying to figure things out... and THANK YOU!!! (Sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense or if it's in the wrong place on her... it doesn't make much sense to me so here I am lol.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre/Ex/Machina Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 So do you need help figuring out you sexuality? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AliCrows Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Well... no. I don't think so. I think I know what I "am"... but I don't know how to deal with THAT. Also, sorry for typos. I was on my phone and it wouldn't let me, fixing them now. :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AliCrows Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 AHHHH it only posted a tiny pit of what I wrote, hold on, sorry!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AliCrows Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Ok, it's back... sorry! D: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
a_friend Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 As someone who has been where you are, let me just say that romantic orientation is not at all as simple as sexual orientation. Also due to the heavily psychological basis of romance (versus biological basis of sexual orientation), it is most definitely something that changes and not so easy to label. I'm not just talking about personal experience when I say that. That all being said, I know quite a number of women that think dicks are gross yet identify as straight. I hear that female sexuality is much different than male sexuality in that way. There are very few if any straight men that are repulsed by female genitalia. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MC Dusters Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 You could think for a minute like a superegoistical person. So - you need sex from a woman. Point two - romantic relationship with a man. Point three - is there a point three? So you declare yourself polyamorous and polygamous and case is solved? You have two relationships at the same time, you are open about it and everything is fine. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Frac Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I always wondered if it was possible for this to happen to someone. Turns out it is, so another proof that sexual and romantic orientations aren't one and the same! Sorry, I didn't mean to dehumanize you as a mere anomaly or anything. Perhaps in an open relationship, you could keep yourself more sexually satisfied, if that was a problem with your previous relationships? I mean, then you could have sexual relations with women every now and then, while being romantically involved with a man. I've no idea how you should bring this up, but I've discussed open relationships with my SO before on the basis that I don't care for sex, myself, no drama there :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AliCrows Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Hey guys! Thank you so much for the comments! It is DEFINITELY more complicated than sexuality haha. I don't think I am anywhere near straight, though, but I jnow what you mean. I've met a lot of girls who are not crazy about "the parts" but none of them seemed particularly bothered by dealing with them (like I am), either. But that's not all of it... I am attracted to women in a way I am just not with men. Well, I would not wish this stickyness on anyone else, but I'm also glad I'm not alone. :) Hahaha! No worries, I'm glad someone is getting something out of it! They can, indeed, be separate... unfortunetly. It suprised me too, to realize it but... here it is. :P I have thought about about the polyamorous/open relationship thing, but I don't think it would work for me. I'm about as monogamous as they come and I can't really do casual sex. Right now I don't know how much lack-of-sex (or lack-of-girlsex, really lol) would really be much of a problem... but there's no way for me to know for sure that it will continue to not be. :/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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