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Issues in the future


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So I have a boyfriend and I do love him and potential marriage is on the table in a year or two at this point I told him it'll probably be a long time before sex how do I tell him that I don't want sex never have and probably never will?

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Well, definitely tell him this before you go as far as marriage!

As for how to explain it, I guess start off with "You know how I said it'd probably a really long time before we have sex? Well, here's why:" And then you'd explain your… asexuality? Are you asexual? If so, explain that it means you don't experience sexual attraction, but be very clear you love him regardless. Explain to him why you don't want sex and won't EVER want sex. Then if he decides he can't go without sex, offer up solutions, like allowing him to get sexual release from someone else, or doing sexual acts but not full on penetration, etc. Though if those are unappealing to you, perhaps something else could work for you two! In the end, you just have to talk it out with him.

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Tell him, defitelly tell him before it´s too late.

It would be pretty unfair to get married when he expects sex and than don´t have sex with him.

Even if it would mean the end of your relationship, tell him how you feel about sex.

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Before getting married, tell him straight up about your asexuality. It is better than hinting in circles and getting hitched to know that your partner didn't get your hint nor understands your sexuality.

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Tell him exactly that: you don't want sex and you probably never will. That's blunt and honest. There's no point in being vague or complex. He deserves to know the truth so he can made decisions for himself, just as you make decisions for yourself.

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If you don't tell him, you will be doing harm not just to him but to yourself too. From my experience I've understood that for sexuals, sex is way to express their love. And if they don't find response they feel their love is incomplete. So, be sure you both understand each other before you make life long commitment.

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I'm actually not out to anyone in my family but I just told my mom via email (it's how we get out important information in my family. Long story there) so hopefully she'll be able to help and/or give me advise. I'll keep ya'll updated.

I'm actually not out to anyone in my family but I just told my mom via email (it's how we get out important information in my family. Long story there) so hopefully she'll be able to help and/or give me advise. I'll keep ya'll updated.

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Tell him now! If you are very lucky he might forgive you for misleading him. If you carry on and get married, hoping for the best, you are both likely to be very unhappy.

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