Does anyone else feel like a kid?

[Guest]

Like mentaly puberty didn't realy hit me so I feel as though I'm still a kid and the thought of someone wanting to have sex with me is just so very wrong as I'm forever a child

[Artistofnoname]

I'm 26 and but don't feel it. I've always been age delayed and am truly an oversized child. If you ask me its a good thing because as Dean Martin once said "don't you know that its worth every treasure on earth to be young at heart".


I feel the same about sex and romance its for the grown ups not me. Heck I would rather invite someone back to my place to play games,watch cartoons, hide & seek, ect
I also have this thing about maintaining innocence and never wanting to lose that prospective/part of myself.

[romantic-woman]

...although that i m not a teen as you, i always felt as kid, i always see marriage and kids so far from myself. So yes i don't want guys to have sex with me. As kids we want a pure tender love :D

[EmotionalAndroid]

Yes, I've always felt like an eternal child, as many aspects of my physical and emotional being seems to reinforce that delusion. Besides my asexuality being a big factor, I actually look very young, and my voice sounds like that of a pre-teen. In fact, when I play video games with a mic, people cannot tell if I am a woman or a young boy! I am also very shy, and society seems to associate shyness with children and immaturity. As a result, people become very patronizing towards me.

Because I look young, am asexual, and people treat me like a child, over the years I have slowly have come under the delusion that I am a child. I had really low self-esteem for a really long time because I felt I was not mature and was incapable of doing a lot of things.

Recently (and only VERY recently!) I have actually started to turn my thinking around. I have found a role model who shares a lot of my "immature" traits, but he stands tall and does not let his appearance dictate who he is. He is one of the most confident men I've ever seen, yet he is 5'3", weighs less than 100lbs and has a high-pitched voice. I really admire him for his confidence, and I've decided to try and be like him. I shouldn't let these stereotypes say who I am.

Finding this site and learning that there were other asexuals has also helped a great deal. Getting that validation is priceless. Now, for the first time in my life, I feel confident, accepting of myself and mature.

It sounds silly that such a big impact can result from just finding someone who is like me who rises about the stereotypes, but it is true. :)

[cali87]

Haha I'm 27 and i just automatically assume anyone with kids, married or in a serious relationship is older then me.. everytime I'm surprised when i learn people are many years YOUNGER then me..and then i just feel odd!

[SorryNotSorry]

I'm 47 and still wonder what this adult mindset is all about.

BTW one way in which my kid streak shows is in my gustatory prefs... I never learned to like bitter flavors, and as such, they remain banished from my palette.

[LeeBree]

I'm 19 and I feel way older than I should… heh, guess I'm a combo breaker with these comments ^^'

My preteen years were total shit, so I spent my teenage years isolating myself socially and thinking hard about life in order to never be in that position again. It worked, but I think it killed my inner child though .-.

I still love video games and cartoons though, I'll take that over sex any day :D Or well, there's a lot I'd rather do than sex xD I don't feel it makes me less mature or anything though, it's just something for other people, not for other more "adult" people.

[Amy Ghost]

I know what you mean. Puberty also didn't hit me like others. I'm 23 now and I sure don't feel like my age. I wouldn't be surprised if I stayed a kid forever. And I think it's sometimes better in ways.

[LeaveOnYourColours]

I can relate. I'm sixteen and a half and most people my age have done lots of stuff, had relationships and been to parties with crazy amounts of alcohol and I just don't really feel as old as they are.

My dad joked with his friend about how I'd probably have a boyfriend my first semester of freshman year, but I didn't. I just didn't feel ready.

In some ways I still don't, but I'm building a (long distance) relationship with a guy who's very patient with me about sexual things even though I haven't outed myself to him with the terminology. I appreciate him a lot and I like him. I feel like he's maybe halfway wanting a really playful fun love and something more "mature". Even though I'm with him, there's still lots I feel like I'm too young for.

I think going to Rocky Horror Picture Show is the most rebellious crazy teen thing I go do occasionally. :)

[Amy Ghost]

I'm also in a long distance relationship, and she's younger than me, but I feel she's often more mature than I am :D

[LeaveOnYourColours]

I'm also in a long distance relationship, and she's younger than me, but I feel she's often more mature than I am :D

Yay! Haha I like ldrs personally. But I'm about 3 months older than my guy so when he's planning to visit, I'll be seventeen and he'll still be sixteen a little while longer and I do plan to tease him a bit about it >:D

[Ficulnean]

I . . . actually don't feel like a kid. Puberty hit, and I didn't feel like it matured me, but rather distanced me from forming relationships with people as doing so is so much harder now. But I don't feel like a kid. I in fact feel less ambivalent about my maturity level when sex is brought up, but nonetheless can be naught but happy that sex is considered an adult things, so will accept whenever people claim the inverse as true (even if it's not because we're not opperating in an either/or, but oh well).

[yellow]

Hmmm interesting question. I don't think of myself as a child because even though I'm not married and don't have kids, I support myself financially, make my own decisions, live alone, have mature relationships with friends and family members, work full time, etc. I also like to ride on the backs of shopping carts, climb trees, and color with crayons. Hmmm maybe I need to reconsider....

[coyote55]

Great thread! Yes, I still feel like a kid sometimes, and it's interesting to see that some of you do too. I've had quite a few close relationships with kids over many years, first as a summer camp counselor, later as an uncle and mentor. Some of them liked spending time with me more than they did their own peers. I wonder if kids "pick up" subtle cues from asexual people that are different from those of sexuals. In my own case, an over-active imagination and being kid-sized myself no doubt played a part as well.

A few years ago, my kid side came in handy when I rescued a radio controlled model airplane that was stuck about 30 feet up in an alder tree. I've always enjoyed climbing trees, and had it down in a few minutes. The owners (who were watching from below) were very grateful and seemed to think I'd done something amazingly risky, which surprised me. Glad to hear that there are others of you like this.

[welsh dragonite]

now this is something i can certainly relate to,im always being told that i am a big kid by my mates. hell i cant even walk past a toy store without wanting to take a look inside. totally inappropriate for a 30 year old male i know but i do get a little bit jel when i see all those pretty awesome toys that kids get to play with these days :D. still on a serious note i got to wonder is this trait is purely an asexual one or is it just a sign that we dont take life as seriously as some people?

[Another One]

I definitely can relate

When I was a child, everybody thought I was too serious and "grown-up" to my age, because I never actually played with other children, but loved reading about science and other nerdy stuff, and from time to time came up with philosophic questions to confuse all real grown-ups... Well, I did climb trees and play radio controlled models too, but nobody knew because I did it alone))) I don't feel I've changed since then, I'm the same little nerd, though studying to PhD degree and supporting myself (and sometimes my family) financially. My view of romance is definitely at some elementary school level - let's be good friends, do interesting things together, share our secrets with each other etc, more things are "for adults" LOL.

Now, at age of 26, I'm beginning to feel my 12-years-old sister is older then me...

[Valja]

I know what you mean, yes I do feel like a child, but I always said that we all should keep our inner child. I think in high school I had a harder time because they were all ohh you're watching cartoons and laughed, so others who were watching too kept quiet, I didn't care because this is who I am. When I walk on the street and I see a cute kitty or dog,spring trees in bloom I get excited. I look younger too, some of my neighbors are asking if I entered high school already, well I'm older than that.Now in college is fun because we are all freaks in our own way, we watch anime and cartoons and don't care about the outside gray world. Some of my ex colleagues got married, have children and I'm what have they done, they are too young.

No matter what keep your inner child! ^_^

[thatotherguy57]

When I was in my teens and early 20's, everyone thought I was older than I really was because I was "too mature" for my age. Now, I'm in my early 30's, and people think I'm in my mid 20's because I don't act quite as serious as I did when I was younger.

[girltwink666]

Not really! I mean I am 16 goin on 17 and I feel that my level of emotional maturity is about where it's supposed to be for ppl my age. Whcih is not very much but still some. I don't think of myself as childlike in regards to being asexual especially because that reinforces the notion that asexual people are just immature or late bloomers which is a silly assumption that I've heard made.

[Panther Shark]

I am soon to be 24. I guess it depends on the situation, really. At work, I can be both mature and immature. Actually, most of the time I think I am more mature than my coworkers who are older than me. At least when it comes to drama. Old soul, I guess. But I still enjoy kids stuff (I have a small collection of hot wheels and action figures and a huge collection of badassed shirts). I don't think has much to do with my asexuality.

[OrangeRaven]

Compared to other people my age, yes i do feel like a kid but i think i feel that way more because i was mature for my age for most of my childhood and teen years, i do what i've always loved doing while my friends and peers have given up a lot of the more 'childish' things like walking on the little brick walls and catching leaves in the air and got a lot more obsessed with things like clubs and drinking games and that stuff just doesn't appeal to me and probably never will. Still it seems i'm alot happier than most of them are, someone in tears or sick or complaining every time i arrive back.

My friends do tease me about it quite a bit but i dont mind or care and some of them definately wish they could do those things too.

[Guest]

Haha I'm 27 and i just automatically assume anyone with kids, married or in a serious relationship is older then me.. everytime I'm surprised when i learn people are many years YOUNGER then me..and then i just feel odd!

I've hit 40 this year and still kinda feel this way whenever I'm not forced into a reality check, lol. It was outright bizarre for me to go to my 20th grad class anniversary last year and hear folks I went to school with talk about their teenage kids... I feel a lot closer to being a teenager than to having one!

[Angeliss]

I definitely feel immature in some ways, and a lot of it has to do with my asexuality, but not in the ways you'd think. I underestimate people's desire for sex, and flirting and innuendo sometimes catch me off guard. I also tend to have great insight into people in general... except when hormones and sexual attraction are added into the mix. And then I feel very young and naïve.

[Danceitbacktolife]

I do feel younger than people my age. I'm 24 and have only kissed once never had alcohol nor smoked cigarets nor done drugs. So in alot of ways my expirences are younger. I also am only just stating my first grown up job (not a work studdy).

[Amy Ghost]

I personally wouldn't say that inexperience about alcohol, cigarettes and drugs is a sign about maturity, or immaturity. I myself tried to smoke when I was about 12. I drunk when I might have been 13 or 14. And even more in the next years. One year unwillingly, more or less. My aunt was celebrating her 50th birthday. They were literally forcing pint of beer and shots of other stuff into my hands. I personally don't like drinking, using drugs and smoking. I don't blame that on my immaturity, but simply on my somehow instinctive dislike of that. What I call my immaturity is how I act. I like to be a little crazy sometimes. I like to act childish. I like to talk nonsense. And the like

[siriuslylauren]

I mean, I spend like 98% of my life watching cartoons and coloring. So... kid. Yep.

[Guest]

I mean, I spend like 98% of my life watching cartoons and coloring. So... kid. Yep.

That is good :P

[nerdperson777]

Yeah, I'm 19 and I consider myself a 10 year old boy. Puberty only changed my body, none of my thoughts were affected in the process. The only relationships I have are innocent friendships with nothing attached. I'll only be closer to one I deem as my friend. I was never attracted to anyone so I only ever get, what I guess to be, arousal if there's some sex or nude scene on TV. I'll in most cases change the channel or walk away. So yeah, I like playing with tools, had a few action figures, like carrying stuff for moving, etc. My clothing is mostly androgynous even though I would like to project a more masculine personality.

I joined a demo team a few months ago, and there's this 14 year old girl. She thought I was 13 until while we were talking, I said, "during my senior year in high school". During that conversation she said she had a 17 year old boyfriend who looked like 14, and she was the other way around. I actually look like 16 according to other people. Whenever I see her, she's trying to tell me about her boy problems. I guess she assumed I was interested in guys when I'm actually romantically and sexually attracted to no one. The leader of the team told me that she finally found someone of similar age she could talk to guys about, and I didn't think of it that way. That girl was mostly distraction on the team with all those talks. My friends in college do not talk about attractive guys at all but during the summer I was getting up to 4 doses of it a week. It was a very different feeling. I was wondering, why is she telling me this? Someone's finally saying a lot of irrelevant things to me, what is this? Yeah, there was a lot about "this guy was hot" or "he wasn't even cute". She admitted, "I used to not care, but then guys happened." I originally wanted to tell her I wasn't interested in guys so we would be productive on demo team, but I didn't want her questioning whether I liked girls. I eventually did tell her but she didn't seem to stop talking about guys.

So yeah, I feel like a child. I don't think I belong in college very much. My only club I spend time with, the people don't try to know me better and kind of distance themselves from me. I always show up with this goofy kid personality and then go into a serious blank face another moment due to my default personality. I try to be a silly clown, doing things that hopefully make people laugh, but sometimes it just makes me look like a total derp.

[cheeringselenator]

I defiently feel the same way as you! I am 19 and I still feel like a kid. Before I discovered this site, I didn't know why I didn't feel like other people my age sexually wise, I just figured I was a "late bloomer". I completely agree with you!

[alicepractice]

I'm only turning 17 this year so I'm technically still really young, but I feel like I'm still around 13 in just about every way. I think a big part of it is because I'm homeschooled and don't really do anything but stay in my room and occasionally talk to my mom, but yeah, I'm relatively very inexperienced in every way (never had my first kiss, gone to a party, tried even a sip of alcohol, etc) and my depression makes it feel like the past few years haven't actually happened. I feel entirely unready to grow up and become an adult.