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I think this might work (meetup)


SorryNotSorry

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SorryNotSorry

I've gone to a lot of meetups and a lot of speed dating events, and over time, I've watched the way people act, and even managed to pry a few secrets out of the women. Using what I've observed, I've started to form this idea for a meetup with a different dynamic than your run-of-the-mill singles meetup group. It has to do with taking shaming behavior out of the picture.

Speaking as a hetero-A man, I've always felt the competition in the air when I'm among other men trying to attract women. The elephant in the room is that the men are ultimately seeking sex with any of the women they might meet at the event. As a man who isn't looking for sex, I feel doomed from the start when I'm in a situation like this. I'm supposed to feel ashamed because I'm not looking for sex. It's like, can't we just level the playing field a bit by having only men who aren't looking for sex attend the event?

As for women, the thing I've found most frustrating is aside from not wanting to upset tradition, is many women don't want to be slut-shamed by having to pursue men (even if this is no more than trying to break the ice with that shy guy who's sitting on the sidelines). The logical solution to that problem is to take away the shame by inviting only men who aren't necessarily looking for sex to attend the meetup---and who understand the meetup isn't a competition between the men.

It would have to be more about what we as individuals we're looking for in a partner.

This approach isn't going to solve the problem for every straight asexual who's tired of being lonely. But I really think it's worth a try because it introduces a different dynamic to the singles meetup scene. Asexuals are the folks most likely to succeed with it.

Yeah, I know... assumptions, assumptions... just remember though, sometimes they turn out to be correct.

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It would certainly have a different dynamic, but what of the women? Would having a meeting up ace guys meeting up with, what seems implied, allo women work?

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SorryNotSorry

I really think the key lies in minimizing the competition, the shame, and also the selfishness present in so many of these meetups, and for all involved to not lose sight of the purpose of the thing, which is ultimately to feel that spark with at least one of the others in the group.

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I can see the point of your logic, but I think you'd probably end up finding that men trawling for sex would turn up anyway. Heaven knows there are lots of men and more than a few women who use dating sites for nothing but hook ups, regardless of whether the sites advertise themselves as relationship sites.

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SorryNotSorry

But if nobody tries, we'll never know, right?

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