Thinking about coming out to a friend... advice?

[HowlCat]

So I've been thinking about coming out to a friend I've known for almost a year now. I guess it's fitting that I'm thinking about doing this so close to Asexual Awareness Week, but that's by no means intentional. Does anybody on here have advice they'd like to share regarding coming out to friends?

I'll give a little bit more context (if that helps any of you):

• I was thinking of coming out to this friend via email. We communicate mostly via email and I think I would find it too daunting in person.
• I've mentioned my gender identity to them in the past and they seemed cool about it.
• I may also have a squish on this friend... I'm not all that sure. Obviously I'm not going to say that to them as well :P I just imagine that'll add to my anxiety.
• I've no idea whether my friend already knows about asexuality or not. I'd imagine that's a given in these situations? At any rate, it's probably a good thing that AAW is so close!
• Lastly, I've mentioned AVEN to my friend before - quite often actually - but always in quite a clandestine manner, only referring to it as "the forums" and so it would be quite nice to be more open about that!

EDIT: Oh and this isn't my first time coming out to someone... I'm just really anxious about coming out to this friend because I care a great deal for them.

[WünderBâhr]

It sounds lke you have a pretty good idea of what you want to do. If you feel comfortable enough to share with this close friend, then I say go with it. You could start the conversation by talking about asexuality in a general way, then segueing by bringing up AVEN as a reference? Or just asking them what they think about asexuality in general, to get a feel of how the conversation should go from there.

When told my friends, it was a face-to-face conversation. It was difficult, as I was having quite a rough patch at the time, but they were supportive. I'm not sure they really understood asexuality, but they did get that I wasn't any different than I was before. So, I think it went pretty well. :)

Best of luck!

**

Moved to Asexual Musings and Rantings forum.

Byanyothername

Asexual Q&A Mod

[HowlCat]

It sounds lke you have a pretty good idea of what you want to do. If you feel comfortable enough to share with this close friend, then I say go with it. You could start the conversation by talking about asexuality in a general way, then segueing by bringing up AVEN as a reference? Or just asking them what they think about asexuality in general, to get a feel of how the conversation should go from there.

When told my friends, it was a face-to-face conversation. It was difficult, as I was having quite a rough patch at the time, but they were supportive. I'm not sure they really understood asexuality, but they did get that I wasn't any different than I was before. So, I think it went pretty well. :)

Best of luck!

**

Moved to Asexual Musings and Rantings forum.

Byanyothername

Asexual Q&A Mod

Aw, thanks byanyothername!

Actually, it's only been a day and I'm now leaning more towards coming out in person. Although (like I said) I would be anxious about doing it that way, I'm usually very much at ease in their company. Whereas, I can sometimes get quite worried when waiting for a response to an email or PM. That'd probably feel a lot worse with something this important to me!

Erm... if you don't mind me asking, when you came out to your friend about being asexual did you also bring up your romantic identity? I see that you identity as panromantic - like me - so it's something I'm also not really sure how to approach, whether to bring it up in the same conversation/email.

Thanks again for responding! It means a lot :)

cake of gratitude